I love my boyfriend like I have never known to love anyone. He is my best friend, and two years ago I never would have thought such a guy existed, as I have a tendancy to hate men . lol The only problem is I hate having sex, regardless of the physical act of doing which I can just about allow myself to get through, the guilt and nausea it brings is overwhelming. To the point where I always need to throw up afterward. I feel as if im the worlds most disgusting person almost. I never initiate sex which I feel he resents me for, but if it were up to me maybe we wouldnt be having sex? :/ I know after two years that seems odd, but its just the way I feel. I dont like being touched in a sexual manner because i feel awful and wrong, but I love when we sleep together (no sex) or cuddle or just hug , so its not like im completely 'get away from me'. Its just sex I find difficult. I just dont want to hurt him by not wanting to have sex.. and then I feel guilty for not being the sexual girlfriend that so many of our friends girlfriends seem to be equally to their partners. And its not him, its entirely me, because I trust him with all my heart..I really do love him. An please dont say its because he doesnt make me feel comfortable because thats exactly what he does do, he tries to make it as special as possible for me which only makes me feel worse! My last boyfriend was 10 years older than me and i wasnt really in love with him, so sex wasnt a problem because I just allowed him to have sex with me and I didnt like it but I could tolerate it more because we didnt really care about eachother. I dont want to feel this way forever, I just feel that everything has become about sex and I have this huge complex like its always going to be hanging over us and its like the elephant in the room or something. :/
i think something this strong/severe, you should be seeing a therapist or counsellor for. not getting drugs for, just some talk therapy, cognitive behaviour whatever the heck its called. this isnt something thats going to get fixed over the internetz
thats big my believe after reading that is its all mental 'no offence' try blind folding ur self. going out on a limb u have a mental block to sex that makes u feel ill or disgusting. try not to think of it as just sex think of it as a joing between u and ur bf. change ur mind set i know ppl are going to say that very hard and all but its really not. if u relly want to have sex with him and not feel dirty the dont feel it just change u mind set if i dont make scene im srry for example with me when i ate my gf out the first time i hated the taste nerly made me gage 'she was very clean and no smell' i just didnt like it and she was hurt so for the 4 months till we saw each other again i mentaly pictured the taste and convinced my self it was the best tasting thing ever and it worked tasted the same but i loved it and eat her out of an hour lol its all mental
I feel for you. An ex girlfriend of mine years ago had the same problem. It took a long time, but she got some counselling which helped eventually.. I hope you can do the same thing. What about playing with yourself when you are alone? how does it feel afterwards, do you still feel ill at the thought of diy as well. Ex GF did. She got rid of her feelings of disgust eventually. I hope you do to.
How old are you? May be it would be useful to try supplements which wake women's sexuality? I think you just have problems with sex drive for some of a reason... Try Sentia pills. It helped my gf to relax in bed and to be a girl which wants sex.
Do you have any idea WHY you have such negative feelings associated with sex? What are your early memories about sex? How were you raised? I think it's a major problem with the culture we come from that sex is considered "dirty." Sex is NOT dirty, or bad, or shameful. It's wonderful and natural, and I wonder how you came to believe otherwise. I know that having sex with someone who is willing, but doesn't really WANT to have sex isn't really much fun at all, though most people, I think, feel such an incredible NEED for sex that they will take what they can get, in this paradigm of sexual scarcity that we have created for ourselves. I hope you can heal your attitude towards sex, and I agree that therapy of some kind is a good idea, talk to someone about it, even like hypnotic regression or something. Love and Light, Joshua
If your conscience bothers you about having sex, don't have it till you get married, at least then you won't have anything to feel guilty about.
