Mom read texts.

yeah title pretty much says it all, she thinks im selling though which is complete BS just because this one girl wanted some and I would hook her up once. She told me shes not going to fill anything out for me to go to college as long as i am smoking because its an illegal activity. I feel a lot better about it now though because they finally know and I can finally fes up to all the lies ive told them just to go out and smoke. I really dont know what to do because shes taking my car away until I come up clean, im 17 by the way.

 

fuck! that blows man! that's why I delete my texts. But wtf, why did she go through your phone? that same thing has gotten me fucked over too, so youre not alone

 

nah man cuz they've been paranoid about it so they used some other excuse to take it away just to look @ tht texts, but what did u do then once she found out ?

 

quit smoking until your 18 then move out and smoke everyday. When you are under your parents roof, its their rules. If they say no marijuana, then don't keep any in the house and stop smoking.

 

listen, you're really young, despite being pretty much being an adult. sometimes new responsibilities will impose themselves upon you.

as much as you love weed, if you have anything close to a good relationship with your parents (do you love them?) you can go a year without smoking for them while you live in their house, to appease them.

they are willing to help you with college because they love you and wish to give you every opportunity they can. thats way more than many parents can (or will) give their children. you may or may not think their wish for you to stop smoking is poorly reasoned. i personally think its not a bad idea to quit for a while, get into school, and in college maybe smoke on the weekends or whatever if you want.

there will always be weed later, if you want it.

i say this is a good opportunity to perhaps get closer to your parents and become an adult in their eyes. fess up to all the things. willingly and openly come clean to them, explain yourself and let them know what you've been up to. let them know you understand where they're coming from as well, and let them know that you will quit smoking for a while for them (if you will, i dont suggest lying about it)

show respect, gratitude, and maturity. trust me, seeing as your only punishment is the condition that you stop smoking before your folks will pay for college....in the grand scheme of things, you have MORE than reasonable folks, even if they did give you less privacy than you might have liked.

i say it would be foolish to let this be a divisive force in your family.

instead, let it help you and your parents get closer, let them think of you more as an adult, someone who can make mature decisions. quit for them, even just for a while.

in time, as they think more and more of you as a grown up (especially after college) it will be less and less of an issue, and they will learn to accept it and love you as their child regardless.

but for now, at 17, as much as it may be tough to not just want to do your own thing, i suggest abiding by your parents.

 

yeah i went to a counselor today and idk if it is even worth it to try and argue with them about it, i think its just time to quit for a while because I cant have my car until I do so

 

But the only thing is my mom isent educated about weed at all, she just assumes since its illegal it shouldent be dealt with at all. This brings up my defenses a lot in many ways

 

Did you pay for the car yourself? But they're you're parents who dedicated their lives (since you were born) to raising you so at least respect them for that and follow their rules.

 

yeah i did and i have to get my own insurance under my own name.

 

^thats fair. but it makes you less likely to be able to "win" if you decide to act all rebellious about this.

the fact that your mom is uneducated about it might also mean shes willing to learn, though grudgingly.

use your best judgment, cause i DONT know you or your situation....

but i would almost be willing to bet that only good will come from a) being honest with your mom about your cannabis use and history b) quitting, for now c) letting your parents understand you're intelligent, mature, and reasonable

as you demonstrate these more and more and your parents treat you closer to an equal, if in a while you start smoking again you can eventually start being more open about your current use. eventually, if they are reasonable, it will stop bothering them so much, and they will see it makes you no different and they love you all the same either way, even if they'd prefer you didnt smoke.

as long as you aren't permastoned and retarded around them, eventually they'll understand better that its just your choice and you can smoke AND be a good/responsible person. but given the situation its best to establish that responsible image by legitimately (even if temporarily) quitting for them and doing well academically.

trust me, i used to get in trouble when i was caught smoking as a kid.....my folks both smoked before, but they knew it can be a distraction and didnt want it adding to my issues.

lately (end of august) before i moved into my dorm i first had to move out of my apartment into my parents house. my parents eventually stopped punishing me admittedly, but i've also made a point to show maturity and thoughtfulness (such as taking a hiatus from school, which they were paying for, to work while deciding what i want in life, and want to pursue academically. i've decided, and now i'm in school. but it didnt make sense to waste their money for school when i didnt even know what i wanted to do with my education, and when i wasn't dedicated to it). when i was living with my parents for a week or so, i had some herb. i made it a point to not smoke there until i got my mom aside and asked her, as a matter of respect, if it was ok if i smoke on the porch after she went to bed. she said ok, with a little hesitation, but appreciated that i had the respect to ask her first rather than sneak behind her back to do something illegal in her home.

the next night i wanted to smoke again. i'd previously gotten my moms permission, but the last two people up were me and my father. it was getting late....eventually i wanted to smoke but didnt wait longer. eventually i decided it was about time to bite the bullet and ask permission of the waking parent if i wanted to smoke. so i asked my dad if it was ok, explaining what i'd asked my mother the night before.

he said....ok.....but only if you'll share.

it was a good night:cheers2:

so you may never be smoking with your parents, but the moral of the story is that you will only BENEFIT from quitting for your parents for a bit....

and in addition to fulfilling the requirements they set for you, it can almost certainly benefit you to go a little above and beyone, and increase your honesty with your parents about why you smoked and such, and honestly tell them you're quitting for now....

basically your parents sound like the kind that at least sound reasonable, even if your punishments may seem harsh.

lets face it, the legal punishments are far worse. quitting weed for your folks so you can get a good education and drive a car is a lot better than having to quit so you dont break probation or parole and go to jail....

 

yeah i do agree and appreciate all of this, but i mean nothing has changed about me since i started smoking besides my attitude. My grades are still good, I still have a steady job, just about everything is normal besides my attitude towards them. I explained to them I only do it because of stress, but idk. How old were you when you got caught and how long did you quit for?

 

well, i got caught a few times.

i quit off and on, but they never really made a huge deal out of it and never tested me or anything. i didnt have my car taken away as far as i can remember.

they were more upset about finding out i was smoking cigarettes than the pot. and when they found my girlfriends lace panties under the passenger seat of the car i drove...well, that wasnt so good.

obviously our parents will be different in some ways......

BUT i still dont think your parents sound abnormal or unreasonable, and demonstrating honesty and maturity will go farther than any other route you could take.

but in the end, there are MANY ways you can go with this, and this is just what -i- think is probably the best choice. not even necessarily what i would do.

 

Sounds like the same way my mom handled me, took my car and thinks that marijuana comes from the devil. I was a senior in high school at the time with good grades and a steady job, but she still didn't approve. I quit till summer and now that im in college, she still doesnt approve of it, but now that im an adult and have shown that I can handle weed without getting into any trouble or accidents. i can do pretty much whatever I want and I keep my smoking to weekends only or atleast try. Just give it time and they'll come along. Ask your parents why god made the earth and had pot grow here?

 

yeah i think its best just to wait tyll i go to college cause right now my main priority should be getting there.

 

solution: buy detox and pass the test.

or if you wanna be honest and all that shit you could stop smoking...

 

That is possibly one of the worst arguments for smoking weed...Why did god create disease? Why are there hurricanes? Bad argument.

 

As long as your dad won't beat your ass call her a bitch and tell her to mind her own.

 

fucking my dad said the same shit except, he isnt going to let me get my license until i quit which i think is complete bull shit, he will eventually give in when he has to star6t taking me 27 miles a day to school and 27 miles back. Im going to Community college to get my High School diploma quicker. I will start the classes this summer and finish up my christmas next year so its a pretty good deal imo

 

Tell them this: "I have smoked for (insert how long you have been smoking), now, what has changed since then till now other than the fact that you know I smoke?" If you have been good all these years then they might realize that nothing has changed, so there view of you shouldn't.
Right now, go and do some research and set up a professional presentation of the benefits of marijuana, and then start your presentation with the above mentioned paragraph.

 

My mom caught me and she was pretty pissed but she isnt as concerned about weed as she is about other things... If i came home with a 100% report card i would literally be able to smoke and drink all day she wouldnt care but its all in how your rents are you know em better than the rest of us use your best judgement