Top twenty reasons why chocolate is better than Sex

1. You can GET chocolate.
2. If you love me you'll swallow that has real meaning with chocolate.
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can safely have chocolate while you're driving.
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7. If you bite the nuts too hard, chocolate won't mind.
8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours,without upsetting your co-workers.
11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18. You are never too young or old to have chocolate.
19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbours awake.
20. With chocolate size doesn't matter.

 

I remember one of my friends getting in trouble for having that taped to her locker in high school.

 

did you go to freakin' catholic school or somethin'? or was it one of those "rehabilitation" schools? if you know what i mean... something like "our lady of the night school for troubled young women."

 

aha really
I heard somewhere that the chocolate produces the same hormones in your body as when you fall in love

 

No. I went to a performing arts school. Unfortunately for her, we had a prudish principal that year.

 

what if you don't like chocolate...

 

Then just stick with the hair in your mouth.

 

i use strawberry shampoo.

 

mmmm, now I'm hungry..

 

Size matters with chocolate!

 

hahah
i'm not convinced though.

 

yeah, fine, see how long that keeps ya happy.

 

Chocolate is better than sex. But ONLY white chocolate. God, that stuff is so yummy.

 

Top Ten Reasons Why Having Chocolate is Better Than Having A Girlfriend


1. Chocolate doesn't turn into a demon for 3 days every month.
2. Chocolate never complains that you never talk anymore.
3. Chocolate would be happy to let you have 12 beers and watch football.
4. Chocolate doesn't mind if it catches you eating someone elses chocolate.
5. Chocolate doesn't require shoes, handbags, or expensive engagement rings.
6. Chocolate doesn't care if you come home with chocolate on your breath.
7. Chocolate doesn't nag you about doing the dishes instead of playing X-box
8. Chocolate never uses your razor to shave its privates.
9. Chocolate is never mean, bitchy, or smarmy. It's always sweet.
10. If you have sex with the babysitter, chocolate won't throw your flatscreen 14 stories to the street below.

 

Hahahaha...

Except for the having sex with the babysitter, that is so early 90's..get with the decade my friend...

 

I'm voting for sex.

 

How the fuck would I know that? I was on Dead Tour during the early 90's and didn't have much occasion for witty banter.

 

wow, aren't you the super cool one...

 

chocolate racist.

 

I bought bogus acid on haight and ashbury in San Fran in the early 90's...tasted like toe sweat