What do you think of my essay (on relationships)?

This is an essay I just wrote. I wanted others opinions to make sure I got my ideas across right. I'm an active member of this forum (female) but I was hesitant to post under my real name. I know I'll get a lot of disagreers but it's cool. I'll probably need to work on it some more. Just wanted to make sure what I'm trying to say is clear. Yadamean?

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Dating Games and Other Adolescent Bullshit

It makes me sick to see people believing the lies. Blindly giving up their dreams for what they believe to be LOVE. What is love, really? Can anyone know?
Is it the ecstasy of knowing you're in a relationship?
Is it humbly obeying your partner and fulfilling their every need and desire?
Is it sex?
Is it spoiling each other with gifts?

Or is it because you know each other through and through. The good and the bad. And still can't help but want to make each other happy? Equal partners? A friendship caught on fire?

I thought I was in love once or twice. Got caught up in the game. The idea of love. When I was a child, I always imagined love would be something that caught you by surprise. So when I was older and got introduced to the dating world, I was confused at the idea of trying to force something. I was never any good at flirting. Perhaps because I suck at being sociable. Still, it felt pretentious to me. As a teen, I tried to be what everybody wanted. I wore unflattering clothes and put glitter and too much makeup on my face in an attempt to look cool and and attract boys (this was around 13). Perhaps if my mother had gently guided me into womanhood, I would have done better. But all I got from her was that dating was wrong, boys only wanted one thing, and the clothes I wanted to wear were slutty and whorish. All teenagers go through phases like this, and I was no different.

Why do teens and young adults "fall in love" so easily? One day it seems they're staring at each other across the hall in school. The next thing you know they're going out. A few days later, they're having sex. Then they're in love! Everything is perfect. Nobody has ever been as perfect as the person they're dating. Everything seems great for awhile (maybe a month or so).
Oops! Trouble in paradise. They're breaking up. They break up for different reasons. But obviously, they weren't in love. The perfection they portrayed was an idea built up in their mind of all the dreams they'd ever had for a relationship. They're devastated for a little while. And then the cycle begins again.

Does it only happen with teens? I don't know. I see older people in meaningless relationships. It seems people are so lonely they go so far as to pretend something is there when there isn't, and make something out of nothing. So and so is getting married. I better hurry up! I'm pushing 30. They let dates buy them expensive meals, clothes and jewelry, then have sex with them. And look down on sex workers for being immoral. What's the difference? They're both whores. I have more respect for the girls working the street. A man can't buy a woman! I'm sorry, but you will have to do more than spend money on me to get me to fall in love with you, and I think all women should share this sentiment.

Then you see married couples who have nothing in common anymore. They stay together for the kids and waste years of their lives with people they don't even know.

I see people changing their looks and personalities for their partners. Girls doing things with guys (and vice versa) because they fear rejection. I see control on both ends. Why do people go so far to make people like them? Which begs the question: are human beings so bent on being in love that they value it above every other moment in life? Surely, it is to be held in high regard, something to be cherished and desired for. So should this not be a reason to carefully choose partners, to even put off that search for love until one has found themselves? I truly believe that one must work on self first and foremost, to give themself at least a chance at life (and love). For until you find your mate, you must rely on yourself first. Make yourself worthy of that love you so desire. Work hard, study, take time for your family, spend time with good friends, respect yourself and others, evolve. And you may discover that love has found you! Even if you never find romantic love - which one should accept as a fact of life, as it is never as easy to find or maintain as movies and TV make it seem - you should know that love is all around you.

Of course, no one should take my advice, considering I've only been in one real relationship myself, am currently in a spiral of despair, and fail to take some of my own advice. I'm just sharing what I see, and the steps I'm taking to protect myself from heartbreak. So far, it's working.

 

i think you need to elaborate more on it.
on which subjects and which ones you could add, i wouldn't be able to tell you if you paid me....

But i think it's a great essay..... some very good points

 

I think you did a great job of hitting on certain points that most people are afraid to bring up. Your profile data says you're 20, a lot of the points you talked about were things I didn't discover till I was about 10 years older. Especially the things about people staying in relationships when they have nothing in common and not really knowing each other.

Most people would be afraid to talk about such things, maybe cause they're afraid of their own emotions and feelings or maybe because they just don't want to admit their relationships haven't been as rosy as they expected.

Overall I think its a good essay and brings up a lot of important issues.

 

Thanks for the honest answers. I really appreciate it. Yeah, I kinda fudged on my age a bit with this profile. Though I'm not much older than that.
Woodsman, I was kind of afraid to talk about it. That's why I posted under a different username.

I think it needs a lot of work, but I'm glad to know some of my ideas got across.

 

Pretty good. Most of the points made were points that I had semi-thought of already, hehe. I guess because I've never been in a relationship that I can look at it analytically, haha.

And I guess because I have never been in one, I never had to deal with that crap that comes with it so I've focused on myself and my friends more.