Tricked into Fatherhood

OK, so a friend of mine recently broke up with his girlfriend of 18 months. 3 days later, she called him and said she was pregnant. He wouldn't believe her as he knew that she had been taking the pill.

So she told him that she had stopped taking it 4 months previous. He had absolutely no idea that she had been secretly trying for a baby. They had never even discussed the topic as a future possibility.

Now, he wants her to terminate the pregnancy. She won't. He insists that he will have nothing to do with the child emotionally or financially.

What do you think about his actions? Should he 'take care' of his child?

 

that's a psycho bitch move on her part

 

He should get himself a lawyer, document everything and never be left alone with the skank.

 

unfortunately yes, I do think he has to be responsible for the child, it is his after all....that being said, what she did was manipulative dishonest and low but, it is what it is and this is an innocent child who didn't ask for this and shouldnt be punished for someone else's stupidity.

 

That woman is horrible, I don't blame him for being upset and him saying the things that he had said because he's shocked and upset... I mean he did not want to have a baby, and just because this woman did, doesn't give her any right what-so-ever to trick and manipulate someone like that...

 

I think his girlfried behaved extremely reckless, irresponsible, and frankly just plain shitty.

That being said, this child is still going to be his. Him not wanting anything to do with the baby is sort of disturbing. Hopefully this is just his initial recoil of suprise and fear, and he will be able to come to terms with the situation.

 

Besides which, there are Sperm Banks for this kind of stuff.. If she wanted a baby that bad, go to one of those not trick someone...

 

It happens a lot..

The wrong bitch can change a guys life up for good.

He should just suck it up and get ready to pay child support and be a father.

But spend the extra $600. for a DNA test right after the kid is born for sure.. If you are his friend you will help him do that, a lot guy don’t find out for years latter that it wasn’t even their kid.

 

Well, I also think that he might change his tune once the baby is actually born, but he won't even be in the same country.

He seems pretty adamant about his decision. It's been a couple of months since he found out.

 

no doubt it's wrong to manipulate someone like that, I don't disagree at all...
it's redundant at this point though, what's done is done and there is a child that needs nurturing and support regardless of how it came into this world.

 

daaaaang.. well, has he made sure she's pregnant? i mean she could be lying. there's always the issue of paternity, then if the law is involved, make her sign something freeing him of responsibility or sue her. See, Id take the kid, prove she's crazy which shoulnt be hard to do since this is why he's in this situation, and make her be financially responsible.

 

I don't think he should be forced to be a parent unless he wants to be. It will only make it worse if she makes me him a dad. With that said... he should make her terminate the pregnancy even though it was reckless.

 

I should also point out that I don't think she was that calculated in her actions. She's not that bad a person. I think it was just plain stupidity.

 

And that in itself is really, really sad.. The whole time they thought this child was theirs, they grew so attached, paid child support, thought all along it was their flesh and blood, and to find out it wasn't...I couldn't imagine what that would feel like...

Humans are messed up, and only really think about themselves and what they want, never about how it will affect someone else's life...

But if I were him I would get a DNA test too....

 

Maybe.

I think it all boils down to his character, and who he is as a person. He obviously didn't make a wrong decision, or fuck up, but yet he got dealt a shitty hand with this deal. It isn't his fault, he was deceived, but things turned out this way nevertheless. Now he has the choice of withdrawing into himself or taking care of what needs to be done.

 

I think I'm probably one of the few girls that think he shouldn't be responsible. This chick sounds like a bitch.

 

But making the decision for someone else to become a parent when they don't want too is pretty unstable and not ethical at all.. If she wanted a baby that bad, she should have asked him, if he didn't want too, she should have respected that and went to a sperm bank...Making someone become a parent when they don't want too is not just stupid but pretty heartless if you ask me.. Because this guy's life is forever changed just because of what she wanted, that's just wrong...

 

wow that situation sucks. Its not unusual though.

Yes he needs to take care of the child. Even though she is the spawn of Satan....the child is a seperate situation.

I would be so pissed

 

This sucks, what his girlfriend did sucks! but he'll probably have to pay child support. Some girls try to trap a man.

 

I'm not saying that what she did was right. And sure, what she did really changed his life and his perspective, but I don't think she was trying to trick him. It's weird, but she just didn't ask him. She kinda presumed that they would be together forever and that he would be happy about it.

I don't think that means that she is a cold heartless bitch. I do think that she is naive, stupid and misguided.