Letting my boyfriend fuck some random chick

Don't have sex with him unless you are completely ready! you are making a very wise choice, my dear.

dont let him sleep with other girls. you guys can do other things besides sex. the bottom line is you will find someone who has the same goals as you and you will be happy together. if your guy really isnt happy, he can find someone else.

 

I'm just going to stick it out and wait for something to happen

 

Well that a good point. True I have seen monogamous relationships that LAST and are twisted and fucked up - and probably not very successful. ..
I have also seen some awesome ones-- hey wait can I include mine in there since DH and will have been together 10 yrs in summer 09??-- Or maybe my folks over 30 yr marriage,despite their differences they are still going pretty good.

In any case, I have NEVER seen an OPEN, or cheating relationship be anything but very short ,troubled ,or difficult for the parties involved.
Not saying a happy open relationship can't possibly happen , but just my experiences lead me to believe they are VERY VERY rare,compared to a monogamous relationship

 

I see what you're saying. But I think, when I'm honest with myself, good relationships PERIOD are very rare.

And a lot of what we assume to be good relationships as outsiders, are really not. For instance, when I was in my 3-year relationship, many of our friends and acquaintances thought of us as a model couple. Little did they know we were on the verge of getting at each other's throats.

I'm also going to say that some of my most memorable, sweet, and rewarding relationships with women were very short for various reasons.

 

I guess I have trouble with the idea of a short ended relationship being a success. If it was a success, Why did it end?

Yes, I can imagine short relationships being very lovely. I had a few ex's i would do the whole relationship again if I had to start over- --- but I still wouldn't consider them completely successful,partially maybe.

The relationship I am in now I would never,ever want to end.I don't even think I could imagine life without him.
He is my best friend and more- so that isn't an assumption that our monogamous relationship a success from the outside.



I guess more my point is as PPs said, jealousy is an ugly ugly beast and it is less likely to rear it ugly head in relationship that is NOT open.
I have seen relationships crumble due to being open. I have seen relationships crumble due to cheating-Hell, I have seen hapy monogomous couple break over jealousy when there was no openess involved what so ever- so I do half see what you are saying.The fact is-
--- sure I'd like to cuddle with NTH one weekend- but as of yet I can't guarantee what effect that would have on the trust in our relationship, and TRUST is a HUGE HUGE part of OUR- and ANY strong relationship.

TRUST is just a MUCH MUCH harder thing to show/prove/feel and make in an open relationship- so a much easier thing to lose.
This isn't just my jabbering by the way- every relationship expert I have read from has had similar to say,every psychologist.

 

1) I don't doubt your relationship is successful. All I'm saying is that you can't generalize based on your own experience. It may be that a lot of the monogamous couples that you assume have the same kind of relationship you have, are very unhappy in spite of their longevity. I gave you an example of how that has happened to me, personally.

2) A lot of what you're talking about is not open relationships, anyway. Cheating is not the same as an open relationship. In fact, cheating is very much a product of monogamy. Open relationships would have to involve a tremendous amount of communication, honesty, and trust, IMO.

3) What the hell is NTH?

4) Who the hell came up with this annoying quote: "jealousy is an ugly ugly beast and it is less likely to rear it ugly head." It drives me crazy how sometimes women will say the same thing verbatim, and they don't even know each other. That's what Frenchie used to say to me, word for word. I always assumed it was Oprah.

5) I am not ADVOCATING open relationships. But neither am I advocating monogamy.

If anything, I'd say open relationships are doomed to be a rare course of events because women legitimately fear violence, pregnancy, and abandonment while men, not nearly as much. For that reason, sex involves a lot more risk for women.

 

Honestly, if he just wants to fuck and not fuck YOU girl.. let him go or be in an open relationship.

 

Praxi.
NTH =nakedtreehugger.

I half agree with you, and I feel I am wasting my time hashing it out with you.
I do believe it is a FACT open relationship have a harder road than most monogamous,because of trust.Because trust is HARD to assure and hard to come by,in any relationship..
but I won't waste my time discussing it with you further because your opnions of men and women- women especially are so skewed and shadowed by your own perception of commitment, love,sex- and your seemingly constant inner battles with your ego

 

lol break up after HS

and you want to do this after your out of HS

hahahahaha sounds like you just want to hang around with the guy

 

Holy shit! I have an ego!?

It's all good, sweetie.

 

sounds to me like you're being pressured to be a good girl. Sex is GOOD! Now go fuck.