there has to be someone the same as me

Discussion in 'Mental Health' started by t4oombs29, Mar 29, 2008.

  1. t4oombs29

    t4oombs29 Member

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    ok i want to make this long story as short as possible... basicly i turned 22 years old tonight and i am tired for the way im living! i have a mental illness but i am well aware that there is something wrong.. i can actualy remember the day when i started to feel different when i was 13.. i would have never thaught it would of led to something like this.. the reason im writting this is because i am broken down. i mean my f'n birthday is today and im alone by myself. this is because im afraid to leave my house.. i have panic attacs when i do and am very ashamed to admit it to anyone.. i just dont want to be looked at as a weak person.. plus theres just so much more to it then that. i have turned very depressed do to this, and know have very low self asteam.. which is crazy because when i was young i had more self asteam then anybody i know. the past 5 years ive went from some motivated person to a peice of trash everyone looks down on.. but people realy dont understand what im going through!!! im not trash!! if i could be normal i would be more motivated then any one of them! expecialy now after what ive been through.. i just want to get a point out of life and live fear free and i want to stop worrying about what other people think of me.. the past 6 months i havent left my home and i know my friends think im a peice of shit are something.. it hurts me so much that they dont know what there talking about. i mean i have a twin brother who is perfectly fine but we have the same friends and there always over and have to see me in my room glued to the xbox 360 which has been a life savor to me which sounds stupid but has stopped the panic attacs from happening.. they just think i gave up my life for games which is totaly false. i would break that system and never play a game again if i could be normal. but anyways this is about 1% of what i deal with and there is still much more i would like to get off my chest but if read this whole thing thank you very much. please feel free to give me advice : )
     
  2. fricknfrack

    fricknfrack Member

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    ---> The start is accepting you have a MI
    -----> How do you know ppl think your a piece of shit?
    -----> Who controls YOUR panic attacks, anxiety?
    -Would CBI Help you?
    Taking 1 baby step at a time and possibly going for a walk around the block - do you think that would help?
    What has caused your attacks if you don't mind me asking ?
    Deep breathing helps meditating
    Staying away from those video games also will help from keeping those panic attacks away.

    I'll tell you my ow personal experience-

    I had a very bad experience in my life which led me to the ward- i had to go to CBI and was put on SEVERAL drugs which is just not right . i was weined off all the drugs, and i started by going for small walks working out for 15 minutes. Every 2 weeks it was increased by 15 minutes . I got up and did my hair my nails my make up just to make me feel better. The smallest thing can make you feel better.
    What also helps is if you keep in your mind and you keep telling yourself "I will be okay, There will be no panic attack"
    Take care
     
  3. laurenq

    laurenq Member

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    yea man i dont really know what your going through but i know the depression part sucks and i can relate to not wanting to leave but yea id say forget the video games its like a drug weine yourself off of them and i dono just like fricknfrack said do thinkgs that make you feel good and baby steps

    good luck!
     
  4. J0hn

    J0hn Phantom

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    I am about three to four years older than you. But, when I went to prison for the first time in my life, I was your age. Mental illness is a very complex thing. It can affect anyone and does affect particularly the younger generation. Too be honest, I don't wonder why. A crumbling housing economy and high unemployment amongst the younger people. It bares no wonder as to why many young people get so depressed. At the age of eighteen, I was booted out with a flat. Sure this was sufficient, but then I had always been used to everyone doing everything for me. This newness was great, but then three months later it became my worst nightmare. Still I wasn't so depressed as I am today. The last few years, I must have had some kind of nervous breakdown without realising it. I pushed people away without knowing. The one advantage of being depressed, is you learn who your real friends are, who will stand by you through thick and thin, and who will just get up and leave and make you feel guilty for being depressed in the first place. I wanted them to help me, yet I unwittingly pushed them away. I was depressed, it was genuine, understandable and perfectly human to be depressed. But of course, when other's don't go through the same things as you or I , it is all too easy for them to walk out of your life. For them it is an alienation, it is something new, and often tragic, to watch someone they love descend into a chasm of darkness. But for you, you are not alone. Your problems mirror mine(Apart from the panic attacks, although I do have anxieties. Unfortunately all I have is a PS1. It does help me take my mind off of the depression and fears). If you live in London then you can tap into a resource of support. If you live anywhere else (God forbid you are living in barrow in Furness). Go to your local hospital to see if they can refer you someplace. But referrels can take an age. Try and speak to your parents. Of course, even parents may not understand. But they should and I hope that your parents are better than mine.:)

    You can get some books out from the library. But pick good ones. Not all books on depression and anxiety capture the whole person. They often just tackle part of it. Leaving the rest to rust so to speak and remain there. Like painting only a part of the forth bridge and leaving the rest to the elements. Tackle the whole person-you.
     
  5. MovedOn

    MovedOn Senior Member

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    dont forget to look inside for answers as well
     
  6. stalk

    stalk Banned

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    reprogram or die.

    ?
     
  7. fibre1

    fibre1 Banned

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    I say this to everyone: try 5-HTP and rhodiola rosea, it's a really good combo and can help your mood greatly. It's not made me emotionally numb like SSRIs do, it's just taken the deep depression away. Look into it at least please, these are natural products you can buy from any health supplement/herb store. For me they've worked better than prescription antidepressants and don't have any side-effects. You can always PM me if you're feeling down, or when you're not. :)
     
  8. headless63552

    headless63552 Member

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    social anxiety disorder
    and may be bi polar


    just like meeeeeeeee
     
  9. J0hn

    J0hn Phantom

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    Its a grim world out there. Amongst the barbed wire and the thorny bushes. Along the roads that are home to predators and fighting cats. Alone at night. when you are at wits end, you spend hours looking forward to die.
     
  10. xxxpeacexxx

    xxxpeacexxx Member

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    I've had social anxiety disorder n depression since school, only got one friend but i seem to be pushing her away. Doesnt help with my twin sister having just gone to live other end of country at uni. Compared to me she is wonderful in everything she does. I have so many things i want to do, like travel n volunteer abroad, i have dropped outta college 3 times cs of the panic attacks and always getting sooo paranoid. Can't even go out for simple quick walk with my pooch unless its dark n no one sees me. So many things to say about my past, trying to move on and think positive. Hopefully a councilor can help me out
     
  11. Nifty

    Nifty Member

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    If it helps, I can play call of duty 4 with you on xbox. :D

    Gamertag:
    Stellar I NA I
     

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