Alright Guys...Any Advice Will Help

OK...I'm in need of some advice...

My girlfriend & I have been together almost a year now. Her parents absolutely hate me, which is fine. I mean, I can't exactly change their opinion towards homosexuality.

Years ago, when my girlfriend & I were friends in high school, she invited me to her church. I went to that church for several years, but once I left for college, I never really went back (at least not on a regular basis). My grandma and my aunt still go to that church, and they really seem to like it. The problem is...

My girlfriend's mom is a real "mover & shaker" in church. So, basically she has the pastor eating out of her hand...(I'm trying to be nice ). So, when my girlfriend & I got together, this lady was NOT happy AT ALL. My family is basically OK with my lifestyle, so my cousin hangs out with us, and everything is cool. I guess my girlfriend's mom found out that my cousin had been spending the weekends with us, because they saw me dropping him off at church, and now he's being treated different. He was somewhat of an altar boy, and now they have started to pass on his "duties" to other men in church. Needless to say, he was really hurt by all this. Not only that, but my girlfriend's mom is always giving my family ugly looks. (Talk about childish!)

I've been thinking about going to that church and having a little talk with the pastor. I don't think it's very "Christian" to be treating people like this in church, and I don't think it's very pastor-like to be allowing all this to go on in the congregation. I am just so upset, and I'm not sure if what I'm planning to do would be the right way to go. I'm not a religious person, it's just that I hate the idea of my family being treated the way they're being treated simply because that !$%@# doesn't like me or the fact that I'm with her daughter. I really don't know what I should do...HELP???

 

Go and talk to the pastor by all means. But don't get upset if it doesn't change much. However, one can always hope.

Perhaps ignore the pope and the other old fogies of the various branches of the christian church and go straight to jesus. Mention how he loved everyone no matter what, mention that he said "love thy neighbour as thyself", mention that you love coming to the church and have felt at home there yourself, mention that whatever they think about your lifestyle, it has nothing to do with your cousin, that just cos he's your cousin and your friend, it doesn't mean that he should be 'sidelined' in his devotion to god. Even go over to his side for a while and mention "hate the sin, love the sinner"

*shrug*
It's just my ideas. I don't know. Hopefully something will help.

 

catty church women are aweful...what your girlfriend's mother seems to be doing is not right in the least...if you can't talk to your pastor/minister/priest/whatever...talk to this lady...tell her that if she has a problem, it is with you...not your family...i don't know...this childish and petty behavior really troubles me...

 

Maybe you should tell your girlfriend's mom that her actions aren't very Christ-like. Coming from some Christian beliefs, and a few that I still kinda hold on to, what she's doing can be considered sinful behavior. And if she's as die-hard as they come, she should know that a sin is a sin, no matter how extreme it may seem to us mortals.

Talk to the pastor. Make sure to tell him that you're not trying to convince anybody of anything, just that you don't want to see your loved ones being hurt by this woman or the church for something that you are doing. Your cousin isn't gay, you are. So why is he being treated differently? Make sure to bring that up to the pastor.

Jesus talked to some dudes about God's law and such. The old testament gave us twn commandments for us to obey, but Jesus was able to narrow it down to two. 1) Love your God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength. 2) Love your neighbor.

When asked by someone who his neighbor was, Jesus told the story of the Good Samaritan. Basically, dude is robbed and left for dead. Priest comes by, but can't stop to help because he's late for somethign. Anotehr man comes by, but for whatever reason, he can't help either. It was a Samaritan (who were frowned upon by the church) who came and helped out the dude. And therefore showing us that claiming to be of a belief and actually acting upon that belief are two different things. You might not have the same religious views as she does, but you're still a good person.

I think it's personal. You took her daughter away from what she believes to be true. She's not gonna like you too much, I'm afraid. Don't be silent about this. Because it's not just you that's being affected. Be a Samaritan.

This post has been brought to you by the letters T, H, C, and the number 420.

 

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the advice. I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, but my computer started acting up shortly after I posted. I am going to have that talk with the pastor. I just need to tell my grandma and my aunt beforehand (in case things happen to get worse). Now, all I need to do is drive over to the church! I can't exactly make an appointment with him because his daughter and wife will be there ready to hear what's going on. I tell you...that church is really messed up!!! I'm glad I got out...

Thanks again!!!

 

Everyone's advice so far has been good. It sounds as though the pastor talk is worth a shot - unless, however, he is oblivious at present (to the fact that a lesbian couple went to his church). Then it's a matter of first figuring out how receptive he'll be. Somehow get an idea of where he stands on gay issues.


Because if the first thing he tells you is to go burn in hell, things probably won't improve for your girlfriend's brother or your family or anyone else. At that point it might be time to think of switching churches. What denomination is it?

 

I would say you should choose, her or them, and I would choose her, ditch them, just don't go there anymore, find a new church where you both feel welcome. Follow your heart.