Soon-to-be-Husband, cheated on me with his ex-wife/Wife

I need help and advice, my life feels like it is falling apart, and i dont have anyone to talk to about this so here goes...ill write down all the facts before you comment..and please do!

Me and my Fianee have been dating now for 13 month's, Im 8 1/2 month's pregnant, with his baby, our first child together, which is due in 4 weeks, i have 4 kids from a perv-marriage, and he has 3 kids with his (wife/ex-wife), they are still legally married, but are in the process of Divorce. Me on the other hand have been Divorced from my husband over a year. Me and my ex-husband are still friends, and get along for the kids sake!. But my fianee and his wife fight like cats and dogs! and i always seem to get stuck in the middle of it all. and by this i mean, (im friend's) with his wife, have been for year's, even when they were together, but i feel now that we are together, that everytime they get into a fight, i get thrown in the middle, or one tells the other to stay away from me, and so on. I feel like running away, and ending it. Im going crazy!.....i love him, but like tina turned says { whats love got to do with it?}?????????

Now i really love my fianee, and call me crazy, but i really want to stay with him, but i just found out last week, he has been having sex with his wife, behind my back, it happened 3 time's that his wife told me of.for about the last month and a half, so it has not been happening that long (SHE came right up to me and told me) when i confronted him about what his wife told me, (HE DENIED IT) said she was a lieing bitch. At this point after hearing both side's, i didn't believe nether of them, but needed to know the truth, so one night i told his wife, (if this happened, prove it?) i need to know, and someone isn't being honest with me, so i went to her house, and she called him on her cell phone, and i heard the whole convo between him (my fianee) and his wife, he told her {if i find out about this, hes going to make her life a living hell} and he told her that he's going to make sure this doesnt happen again and shes the one who started it, now {her being the one that started it, i believe, i seen her do it, } but he has a brain to say no, and didn't!

So after i heard for myself him (not dening it over the phone with her) i decided to give him one more chance, to confess to me, what i thought at this point that i deserved, which was the truth!

but before i went to confront him i had a doctor's appt that day at the OBGYN and to my shock, i thought i had a uti now for a couple week's, well it wasn't a uti, it was CLAMIYDIA! and i had bleeding from my cervix, and burning like you wouldn't believe from my (well you know what) i sat in the bathtub all that night, with a burning cooter! and PREGNANT!
The doctor told me that if it dont clear up by the time the baby is born, that i would have to have a c-section cause this infection can blind a baby and cause other problems in a newborn! so i went from being mad to down right angery! and Pissed off....

So i didn't even want to wait till he got home from work, i went to work and confronted him, he is a security guard so he had time for me to take him to the side and confront him, and i did. i told him first what the doctor told me, {first thing he said is} "YOU DIDNT GET IT FROM ME" and at this point i have not been with anyone else! and i told him, well the truth at this point hun would work better then lieing cause i know the truth, im just waiting to hear it from you!, and still he said nothing happened!, Finally i told him, i know you are lieing, i heard the convo between your wife and you last night!
He got quiet, and then got mad and walked out of the shack, and slammed the door!......I think he was more mad he got caught!

He finally confessed after the fact, of me finding out, still lied to be about how many times, when and where, and i told him i know everything, now is not the time to suger coat anything!....I would have been feeling better about everything if he would of just came clean with me and told me this happened, but now i feel i can't trust him to tell me anything, no matter how bad it is....it make's me mad that he put our baby's health at risk, and didn't think to wonder, {well shes my ex wife, but that doesnt mean, she hasn't caught something {std) since we have been together, and then came home to me, and gave me a {STD} I DIDNT ASK FOR!.....

iF YOU ASK ME, HE SHOULD OF BEEN THE ONE WITH A FLAMING DICK...
but he didn't, no symtoms! but he had it, and so did she!

Im all taken care of now, and the baby is fine and so am i, and i got tested for everything and everything else is fine, but my trust for him is non-exsitent. there is non. As far as other women go! or anything else for that matter as well...He say's he loves me, and would never hurt me, but he does this anyhow, i can't get past this, everytime i think im ok, this situation come's back to bit me in the ass, {like when i look at him} i see her: when i look at her a see him......:him and her together that is.: and frankly it make's me so sick.....
He talks shit about her, in front of me, but then he goes and fucks her, and not just once, but 3 times......one time on our bed so im told!
I told him if he wants to go back to her, he should go, and stop stringing me along, cause im tied of being lied to. But he says he made a mistake, and he is sorry and he loves me more then anything in the world? Yet right!
Why don't i believe him? I know im not going crazy, but i don't know what i should do, leave and say fuck it, or work this out! I feel im in the middle of a tug of war im never gonna win, and i can't compete anymore..

PS, now he want's us to start inviting other people in our bed / swinging!
Has this men gone mad?
he say's he don't want to go back, and he made his decision to be with me, is this waste of space worth another chance? what if i can't get past the cheating?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Okay...

DUMP HIM!

For real now, dump that freakin asshole peace of shit!

He doesn't deserve you, you're worth much more, and deep down you know that it's true! A guy that cheats is an asshole, a guy that cheats on his pregnant wife is a fucking asshole and a guy that infects his pregnant wife with STD and DENIES that he's cheating while she knows it's true is a freakin fucking asshole that does not deserve to live if you ask me. Yeah, that's for real.

I dunno why you didn't leave him already, but please, think about everything that went down with a clear head, think about your children, do you really want them to have such a father? One thing I know for sure is that you'll always think about what he did to you, everytime you kiss him, lie next to him or have sex with him. It won't just go away, because he hurt you real bad.

Think about it: Could you ever again trust him?
Now he wants you to have sex with other people! How crazy is that? (I mean, everyone should do what they want, but only if both are okay with it) If you ask me he'll probably cheat again. I don't think that you should trust him anymore. Trust is something you must earn.

I'm sure you could do much better.

I dunno, I'm kinda at a loss of words... really... I can't believe that he did this to you. I'd kill him. (okay, but don't do that, plz)

 

http://www.jerryspringertv.com/be_a_guest.php

 

So.... Why do you like this guy? lol

 

god damn manipulative bastards...

 

You want him back but...
PS, now he want's us to start inviting other people in our bed / swinging!
Has this men gone mad?
he say's he don't want to go back, and he made his decision to be with me, is this waste of space worth another chance? what if i can't get past the cheating?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/QUOTE]

Seems to be a really messed up situation and it comes down to what you are going to do about it.

Did you see? What the Bleep Do We Know
Gather four of your closest friends and watch these. Then make a game plan.

Watch and Own These
Two Can Play Game - Just the trailer but go rent it or it's at Walmart
http://www.videodetective.com/titledetails.aspx?publishedid=297124
and
Three Can Play That
http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/three_can_play_that_game/

 

If you're not happy now,you never will be..your babies wont be happy either !!!

 

Dump his ass.

 

Any man who says he loves you, and wants to share you with others, doesn't really love you.

If he really loved you?...you and you alone...he wouldn't want to invite other people into your bed.

Dump him immediately, and get help from family and friends before and after the baby is born.

And oh yeah, take his ass to court for child support.

 

Although I think you are mistaken about your view of the swinging lifestyle....I feel that it's a totally separate topic that should not be the focus of this thread.

This relationship has serious problems, and no one with problems like these should be considering or discussing the swinging lifestyle.

For starters, it sounds like the original poster got pregnant within a few months of seeing the baby's daddy. That is never an ideal situation, since you really haven't had a chance to get to know the person very well. It's not a good way to start any relationship, let alone a relationship with a married man.

This man is still married to the woman he is having sex with. Why is she surprised??? He's still married, and he was married when she started her relationship with him and then got pregnant. This should be enough evidence to make her realize that it's time to move on. The man appears to be a serial cheater, and will likely never stop.

Sounds to me like this guy's a jerk, and he's just not that into her. She needs to move on.

 

I'm not mistaken...it's just you don't agree with me.

But, I do agree that's another subject in itself, it's just the subject of the swinging lifestyle was brought up by the original poster. And maybe getting involved with a ''swinger'' could be part of the problem.

There's nothing wrong with wanting your partner to be 100% faithful.

 

he cheated on you
he lied about cheating on you
he lied even harder when confronted with cheating on you
he gave you an STD
he put your babies wellbeing in danger

...

and you want to be with him WHY? hes a liar and a jerk, what a waste of your time not to mention oa terrible role model for your kids

 

******DUMP HIM!!!******
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seriously, you do not need to be with someone who is destined to continue lying to you, cheating on you, and you have a baby on the way to be your first priority. cut him out. even when you confront him, he lies to you. he gave you an STD! he will always be going to his wife or another woman and make you miserable. drop him.

 

Girl you took the words right out of my mouth!!
You said it all for me thank you..
Oh P.S only one thing you left out..He f***ed her on the BED you share with the cock sucker!!!

 

^^This about sums it up.

 

thanks for all the comments and advice, im going to leave him, i deserve better, and u are all right, he will cheat on me again, i gave him my trust and he walked all over it. i will never trust him again, this i already know.
I just needed to hear it from other people who have a clear look at the siutation...i dont like to give up and throw in the towel so to speak, but when it comes down to this situation, i must step away! for the better of myself and my kids...

as far as the swinging goes, the only reason he brought this up to me, is cause him and his wife use to be into the {lifestyle}/swinging, and i honestly, think " knowing what i know now: his wife only agreed with doing that together cause she knew if she didnt he would cheat, and she figered well if he is going to fuck someone else, at least she will know who, and be there...
but im just asuming that is what she was thinking.....but its a good figer.

As far as this baby, it was not planned, but i thought long and hard about it when i first got pregnant, and i just couldnt abort the baby, i figer the baby desveres a life, no matter weather his father is a jerk or not...
and just for the record, Im am, and have been, thinking more and more about adoption, but im not sure i will be able to give up one of my babies....
its a hard call, but i just want to do the right thing, which is whatever is best for my kids...its not about me. I just want them to be happy.
I really just want to be happy again, i need to find my smile, and i know its not with him.......

 

Very good points. :cheers2:

 

well first of all. That was your first mistake, hooking up with a guy thats still legally married. you cant do shit like that.

second mistake- hooking up with a guy that was married to your friend or a woman you know.


i know he was in the process of getting a divorce but i think it was all a big mistake from you. its common sense. the wife probably seen you and him together and wanted revenge. cause wives who are about to become ex's take revenge on men.

Im glad you got out of it and the baby is happy but think next time and please please LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES

 

There must me 110% two-way trust and honesty - - or the relationship will become the relationship from hell!

NO Explanations needed .... just dump him QUICKLY for your own mental health.

Good luck in the future!

 

There must me 110% two-way trust and honesty - - or the relationship will become the relationship from hell!