i love my daughter, i really do.

Ohhh Mama,
Well I'm working on my 6th 2-yr old experience, so I like to think I have a little experience. This one is the most challenging. Bottom line, get on her level.

These are little people in a huge world. They have discovered that they can do things for themselves. They have very limited ways of communicating their emotions. Imagine wanting to do what you want without really being able to tell people and getting so frustrated that no one seems to understand.

Your daughter is determined to show you what she can do! Unfortunately, her ability to reason with all those plans can be a bit confusing at her age. Encouragement and guidance go along way. She is testing all her limits. When she's tearing things up and being destructive, this is her way of saying she is not getting to do what she wants, her mind does not stop working on the thought at hand though. She wants something to do, unfortunately she isn't thinking about the reasoning aspect. Her mind is not on your reaction, it's on being content that she found a solution to her boredom.

If you want her to be productive in her day, she still needs to be provided with productive things to do. That can get a little tricky when you are trying to live your own day and accomplish your own productive goals. Try to involve her with your plans when you can. Give her little tasks that are helpful. Mine loved stripping the beds to wash sheets, or putting the napkins on the table for meals. If she is giving the cats a hard time, let her feed them (with help). Set boundaries and be firm with them.

If she breaks the rule of hurting the cat have a confining place to put her for a couple minutes (time out). Consistency in discipline is the hard part, we have to listen to the tantrums and sometimes do it over and over and over...u get it!

The good news is, she is ABSOLUTELY normal and so are your feelings. Try to get a little time to yourself for a couple reasons. 1)you need to revive your patience and will power. 2) You need a plan for her and that can take a lot of thought

Good luck to you, try and enjoy what little time you have with your kiddos, they grow soooo fast!

 

I think you have gotten a lot of great advice. . . especially the dietary advice and the art. I would take the dietary advice one step further though. I think all parents this day and age should look at sugar as something their child is allergic to. My daughter doesn't get sugar much and when she does, she is a hellion. Not that I am trying to insinuate that you give your little one sugar.
I also wanted to suggest not letting your child know when you are upset. When kids see they have upset their parents, often they feel triumphant. Either that, or they can feel how upset you really are and they will negatively feed on that causing them to act up even more. If still she does act out, I would give two warnings and then a time out. Always following through if I threaten with a time out. If that doesn't work, I would take away certain toys or certain privileges to show her you mean business.
And I started with the more negative stuff because I was saving the positive for last.
Focusing more on the good things your daughter does will make her happy and possibly might be incentive for her to act better all the time if she gets positive reinforcement when she's good. Not just "bad". Tell her she is doing a good job when she is coloring. Or if she is being quiet, let her know that you really like it when she's quiet. And tell her why. If she ate all of her veggies, tell her you are proud or her. If she points at something and names it correctly, tell her how smart she is. If she cleans up after herself let her know you are happy.
You can get her a piggy bank (even if she already has one), and sometimes when she does something you are proud of, I would give her a quarter (or whatever you want) to put in there. Tell her when it's filled up you will take her out to get something that she can pick out all by herself. If you don't want to do that, maybe try a sticker chart. Just some kind of tangible reward for a child that is not food.
I'm sorry to keep rambling. I just got excited for a minute.

 

time outs don't work. she won't stay.

 

Super Glue?

 

You know... one thing that works is taking them somewhere they can run around and act nuts and exhaust themselves, a lot of stimulation... but another thing that I've noticed is changing my behavior towards her behavior... this is delicate because it has to be balanced, but sometimes I notice that my little one will do things just because she notices that I or someone else(like my mom, or her dad) doesn't want her to do it... so sometimes not acknowledging your anxiety about what they might do, can help them to not acknowledge their urges to do things for attention/amusement and do something else... they learn by experience, and they like to experience as much as possible, my little one is very amused by other people's reactions and will "test" anyone that lets her test them... so that might be a partial option in some situations.

 

My cousins daughter is just like this. Being that my cousin doesn't spend alot od time with her daughter, I watched her alot. I don't think no is strong enough. I know she is kind of young but have you tried time out? It works with my cousins daughter and she is a spoiled rotten brat I am the only one who says no to the kid.

Sorry I didn't read the whole thread. Maybe trying a rewards based system. When she is good do something fun with her when she is bad tell her she has done something to make you angry and take something away that she treasures.