i'm scared to be myself

Certainly been there. To a very high degree. Through most of high school, I was a nobody. Not even a nerd or geek. A nobody. No one to talk to. No one to confide in. Very few people to hang out with (had a few friends two classes below me). So, my first year in college (6 hours from home), I created an alter ego through which to make friends, complete with new personal history, manner of speaking, the works. It worked, but it started working a little too well, and lies I told people about myself became unmanageable, but I had to keep going along with them, otherwise I would lose all of the friends I had made. Make no mistake, this persona I created was transparent enough that I could still make legitimate connections with people, but I never could get up the courage to say to any of them, 'hey, this is who I really am'. When I graduated college, losing contact with those friends let me breath a sigh of relief over not having to maintain those little white lies. Its one of the biggest regrets I have in my life.

 

acting baby

freestyling scenes is hard for me also

 

If I repeat another, I apologize. thread is too long to keep my attention while at work.

I think this is absolutely normal and anyone that denies they feel this way in some way or another is a)in denial or b) has already done the work in their lives to get past this.

Approval and belonging are two of the fundamental characteristics that make us human. We want others to love us...to see our beauty...to recognize that we deserve to have attention shed on us.

We will not get past this need for outward approval until we know and love ourselves within. This is a hard work because so much in our lives we have been told something contrary. There are neuropathways that form in our brain from continued looped thinking(or not thinking really) we then create our bad feelings about ourselves. Those bad feelings become our norm and therefore we get stuck.

Its all choice. How do you want to feel? Why are you feeling what you are? Are their past issues that need resolved?

Thank god, goddess, allah, jehovah, universe, the lucky stars...whatever you want to thank....that we have a life time to learn and grow.

YOu are a shiny beautiful person. You know it. Show it to everyone....and if they don't see it...fuck them.:cheers2: You have nothing to prove but all to love.

 

I think the system works hard to keep individuality in check. It wants you to find identity in material wealth, political affiliation, or in your social status. You're doing the right thing in trying to break the mold, you just gotta keep it up or even maybe redouble your efforts. Be more fierce if you can, without getting angry. Society by it's nature is always trying to seep in through any chinks in your personality and make you conform. If you can keep your cool though, and be exacting in your conduct (by your own standards) you will have it in you to tell anyone off.

You may have to live in society physically, but you don't have to be there in spirit.

 

exactly.....the idea of seperation and conformism is so instituted in us. No wonder we are all mad and crazy.

 

I feel the same way actually... It's like when I'm with a certain type of person I'll play a role in order to make that person feel comfortable, instead of just being me. Or maybe it's to make me feel comfortable because I'm not comfortable with who I really am... I don't know, life is crazy like that, best wishes to you.

 

How could anyone fail to like a naked tree-hugger?

 

Idk i have tons of probs my self im shy im quite i dont talk much and and when im with girls they always say im quite idk why but it seems that i have nothing to say to any one im always thinking never talking. It seems as if im just by my self in a world ful of people.




IM CAUGHT IN THE GRIP OF THE CITY. EL:

 

To any shy self concious young'uns here, ... there's a certain self confidence (and lessening of ego) that comes with just getting older. Don't be so concerned. Things get better.

 

don't be so self conscious understand you r just a small particle in this huge system and the guys who make remark on you are also same so both are same then y u r feeling shy