Need advice regarding a health problem with my GF, kidey infections...

Well, my girlfriend and I have a pretty serious problem right now. We actually have two, but I am only gonna really go into one here. We have been dating for about 6 months, including a break. Anyway, she used to have a lot of problems with kidney infections, and before we met, she thought they were solved. She was taking antibiotics for a year to fix the problem. Anyway, after we started having sex, they started reoccuring. She had two in the last six months, and just started on a third this week. She was back on antibiotics until they cleared up each time, but I don't she took the scrips as long as she was supposed to each time. We had a lot of sex Saturday night, and had sex several times in the two weeks before. We used protection everytime but twice, once she was on her period and it was a really light day, and the other was in the shower. I didn't come inside her either time. She takes birth control. Anyway, she called her doc about the infection this time, she started having burning pains when she peed on monday morning. She is pretty sure its another infection. We thought it maybe was an allergic reaction to latex but we aren't sure. Se asked the doc if it could be me causing the infections, since it appears that way. What he told her has her very scared, confused, and in shock. She is feeling numb right now, and is afraid to show me affection. She says the doc said it was probably me that was causing the infections, like the bacterial flora in my body may be attacking her system. She seems to think that there is no way we can be sexually intimate again, and is very afraid now that she won't be able to handle being intmate ever again. This calls into question whether our relationship can exist into marriage and kids. I understand it may possibly be the case that we can't have sex again, but I really doubt it.
I have talked to her doc a bit, we have to go together and sign a paper to talk any more, but he told me that it is probably solvable with time and analysis. I also talked to my doc, another doc, and my preacher. I have heard of this problem before, and in all cases I discovered it was rather easily fixed. My question is, how do we go about solving the problem, and what can I tell her or show her to allay her fears in the meantime? I want us to go to her doc asap, but she is reluctant right now. We have decided to spend some time apart, she needs it right now. I am letting her go on her own for a while, she is gonna spend a lot more time with friends and not thinking about us for a while which I totally understand. Anyway, what is the best course of action to get past this, and does anyone have any online links I can visit to learn more about this? I want to learn how the germs can be transmitted, ways to solve the problem, and just any info that may help. I also want to help her be comfortable showing me affection again, and keep her treust what we have. We have agreed to stay together, we are gonna take a break sort of, not spend much time together but stay in touch and faithful to one another. But, at the same, we need to start solving the problem as soon as we can. She is saying right now that she wants her mind off all of this, that she should be focused on now and not what is gonna happen in the future. It seems that she just wants to put away thoughts of us right now because of this problem between us, and pick up with it once we are ready to be back together. I feel if we do that though, she will always be afraid of being intimate with me, and I don't want her to feel that way any longer than necessary. I am so scared right now, I just need help. I will probably post some more details later tonite as I read through this again, I am really confused an hurting right now, so it may take a while to get the facts straight for a better reponse from you guys. Please help!

 

What kind of doctor did you go see.. I have never heard of such a thing..I think the reason that they kept reoccuring is because she never finished her antibiotic. If you dont finish all of your antibiotics, it will reoccur..
I have never heard of sex causing someone to have reoccuring kidney infections..But I am not a doc and i am not sure, but I havent heard of such..
She needs to go get some other opinions from other doctors...and needs to find out what the problem is...Sorry I know this advice sucked and everything..

 

Okay.. first of all... calm down.. relax.

The whole story to me sounds like this: urine is sterile, unless your overall health is kinda low and you get bacteria from the outside in to you. This can happen through wiping your butt back to front after a number 2 or by having sex where the sperm gets near the pee-hole. Some women are very sensitive for things like this. A friend of mine has to make sure she pees right after sex, because otherwise she'll have a nasty blatter infection the day after.

Why am I talking about blatter infection here? Because if that is left untreated or doesn't heal properly, it can evolve in a chronic infection and/or a kidney infection.

This seems to have happend to your GF. So it's not the sex with you as a person that makes her ill, it's the bacteria.

What to do next?
-go to another doctor for a second opinion and/or try this:
-get her on a anti-blatterinfection diet (avoid sugary things, make her eat sour things like yoghurt (the bacteria thrive in sugar but dislike a sour environment), drink loads of water or herbal tea) + make sure she pees directly after sex or use a condom for a while

Really sweety.. relax.. it's not you making her ill.. and she'll be fine in the end, although she is in need of some medical attention right now, to avoid serious damage to her kidneys! It'll probably always be a weak spot for her though.

Good luck! *HUG*

 

First of all I could be wrong, but speaking from experience... it's a urinary tract infection that leads to a kidney infection. This is different from a bladder infection. I got mine one day while my boyfriend and I were at a park. We had been there all day and ended up fooling around after swimming in a lake. Basically, between the nasty lake water and the grass probably, I got a UTI which I didn't know I had and led to a severe kidney infection. The doctors told me that because I had such a serious kidney infection, I'm now prone to them.

So I think it is necessary for your girlfriend to shower and douche after sex, or whathaveyou... even if you use a condom. If you have more questions about this too familiar problem... PM me. Oh, and the others are right, she needs to take her meds at the same time every day, and... every day! If she skips a day... look at it as one step forward, two steps back.

 

I thought UTI are cause when you drink to much soda and not enough water...

 

You don't get sick from just drinking soda .. and you don't get sick from not drinking water. It has to do with the sugar balance thingie. ImmortalDissident is right, I didn't know it was called a UTI.. or that 'blatter' is spelt 'bladder'.. but eh.. close enough

Ok.. so.. looks like problem solved right? Well. .not solved, but I hope you're a bit more at ease now Mebesideme!

 

sorry..geez..

 

What? What did I say? I just said that you don't get sick from drinking too much soda and too little water.. but I also said that having too much sugar in your body causes some kind of inbalance that is a perfect breeding ground for the bacteria that cause bladder infections (and if it doesn't get treated, they will travel up the urinal thingies and can cause kidney problems).. at least.. that's what I think and the other poster seems to think so as well. So.. again.. what did I do to deserve the "sorry.. geez"?

 

Nevermind..haha, it seemed like you were making fun of my answer..but really, my answer was pretty dumb cause ha, I looked it up and mine wasnt even on there
but yeah, you both were right..

 

Well, thanks for the help, but its too late. We talked, and she wants to stay out of a reltionship for the next year or two until her immune system recovers, and she wants to spend some time without the stresses of a relationship, just hangng with friends and stuff. I understand and will wait, but right now it seems as if she is running away from commitments. I am trying to figure out right now whether I am even willing to wait even longer for her. We love each other a lot, and I want to be with her. However, I have been through so much shit with her and she doesn't really appreciate it at all. Part of me says stay with her because of all we have been through, and the other half says leave to avoid even more shit like we went through before.

 

maybe check out webmd.com. and ask a few questions..

 

Hm.. yeah.. it does sound like there's more then just 'avoiding stress'.. I mean.. if everything was ok except for her medical condition, then staying together wouldn't be a problem I guess.. but that's just me. Did she say she'll be exclusive and wait for you as well? 'Cause otherwise you might consider trying to stop focussing on her and find someone else.. *hug*.. good luck with it, you sound like a good guy

 

Okay, I thought I was going to die when I had my kidney infection. After I had recovered I said I'd rather have a baby than have another one... but in all seriousness, I agree, she's running away from something and using this as an excuse. If she would take her meds, her immune system would recover. And why does she have to stay out of a relationship to heal? Obviously if the problem was causing so much concern, an understanding boyfriend would be so kind as to lay off the action for a month or two. Excuses, excuses. I dig that you are willing to wait for her though, that shows a good character (or an obsessive one). Haha.

Peace

 

another thing you might want to ask her about is the medication she's on. Is it the same one that she was on for a year? Taking antibiotics for a prolonged period of time builds up a resistance in your body and actually renders them ineffective. The bacteria in the system learn to adapt and survive. There is a very strong antiibiotic out called Z-Max or Z-Pack. Its actual name is azithromycin, and you take only about 6 pills in 5 days and you're done. It's that powerful. Good luck hon, you sound like you're in a major funk.

 

I basically said fuck it. I have reexamined my priorities in life and she isn't one of em right now. She told me she won't be dating any one else while we are apart, and I believe. I currently feel no attraction toward her at all after seeing her true self. SHe is running away from commitment. I am gonna stay away from her until she come back around me, and just be friends with her. If she is ever ready for a relationship again, I will be with her, but unless that happens, I am just gonna be friends with her. I can't honestly say after all this shit with her that I will ever be able to fall in love again, as a matter of fact, I don't know if I will ever even be turned on again. Everytime I think of sex or girls, I cringe, and my dick shrivels like its 10 degrees outside. I am an emotionally scarred individual b/c of this girl, and strangely enough I think I like it! Never again will I be attracted by a member of the opposite sex! I can do so much more with my life now...

 

an STD?

 

No, its her immune system, its all weak and stuff, because she was on antibiotics for so long. No STD's involved.