my first A+ essay

Please don't laugh about this, I know its not perfect and I'm really self critical about my work. And I realize I use too many commas.

Legalize It!
Pushit
Period 5
10-09-07
Legalize it! The commonly heard saying said by everyone from protesters to Dead Heads, hippies to supporters. My family and I have always been strong supporters of legalizing marijuana. Tom Forcade, one of my family members, has created a magazine about this issue and about marijuana in general. Tomas Forcade, along with friends, created High Times Magazine as a way to sell a newly found strain of Marijuana. High Times Magazine later focused on the legalization of marijuana and recreational use. In recent years, the living founders of High Times have partnered with legalization support groups such as NORML, who inform the close minded to realize the benefits of legalization. High Times Magazine is now a very popular magazine, and has interviewed people such as Tommy Chong, and Willie Nelson.

Some benefits of legal marijuana include a wide variety of clothing, industrial products, foods, fuels, paper, and many other things. If our mass population would accept its use completely in society, billions would be saved on ethanol production over drilling for petroleum. Schools would save large portions of their budget by using hemp paper, one acre of hemp makes as much paper as four acres of trees. Farmers' incomes would increase not just from bio-diesel, but also from large yields of hemp for foods and other products.

Some people argue that Marijuana is a horrible plant, the Devils Weed, but they are ignorant. Statistics show that people die every year from Marijuana, but keep the fact that it is almost impossible to overdose on and most of the people under the influence of Marijuana were also intoxicated by other drugs, including alcohol, a secret. The fact is, you will not die from anything related to cannabis except for possible cancer if you smoke it. People are just to lazy to go against what they are told, and almost all of the people that are against the legalization of marijuana have never even tried it for themselves. Even the groups of people in the executive branch of the Government are against it, not mentioning that they could tax it and sell it, eliminating things such as their national debt. This would change us as a country in a very positive way, especially considering that $400,000 of American capitol is lost every second of every day.

Medical Marijuana is a very controversial issue, and has been for many years. While most of America is still against medical marijuana, many states, including California and Alaska, are fighting to make it legal. Now, many people in California get it legally from their state, and it is predicted that a certain amount may be legal (under an ounce of marijuana). Alaska has already legalized marijuana for personal use, but has very strict punishments against the sale of it. Also, many other states or areas, such as Oregon and areas of Washington are not charging people who get caught with marijuana, because too many people do it, and jails would be extremely overcrowded. Medical marijuana has been found to help patients with certain types of cancer, and many other medical conditions. Protesters argue that scientists have found no benefit of medical marijuana, and that the chance of complications is very likely. These claims can be proven false by simply asking a scientist who has studied marijuana use, and will be surprised to learn that many of them are supporters of legalization.

So in conclusion, I believe that we as a world should look at the benefits and do the right thing, making everyone more happy, and stimulating economic growth for decades to come. If so many people do it, how can it be so horrible? Seriously, how? For information about the legalization of marijuana movement, High Times, and all other subjects please go to: High-Times.com, Eorwids.org, or search marijuana in Google.com.

 

kl.
Personal highlight "the Devils Weed"
I dont think ive ever done an a* essay

 

This is not an A+ essay, but I may just be a harsh grader. You have some grammatical errors and your points do not follow your introduction very well. Your conclusion is extremely weak, especially the links at the end.

 

Yeah I know, but I got 95.5% because its not college level, it was Junior English in HS. But I think I got high grades cuz only a few of us actually did the essays on time so he gave us better grades. I would have probably done better with it if I had taken more time to edit.
I love the opening line though.

 

It's good you wrote about something you're interested in.

 

I wrote a few others, one was called "Hippie" but it had a visual aid so it wouldn't be as good here.

 

Make sure, away from class you go beyond opinion pieces. These people over here say this, those people over there say that. *thumb down*

Dig deeper into your own meaning.

 

I do, but that in particular was a persuasive essay.

 

Hmmm according to my research, statistics show that nobody throughout history has died "from marijuana". In addition there are no recorded instances of cancer from strictly cannabis use.. the research actually shows the opposite, a protective effect against cancer.

Large scale studies have been done showing that a person who smokes cannabis only has no significant increased risk of cancer, tobacco smokers have a very significant increased risk, and smokers of both cannabis and tobacco have an increased risk as well, but lower than those who smoke tobacco only.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJmQ16cGBHU

Other than that, it was a pretty decent paper. A few syntax and grammar errors but good job. I would have left out the intro about High Times, hippies, and mentioning closed mindedness and ignorance. You want to be credible, and you don't want to turn off the audience you are trying to convince by making accusatory statements..

 

there were some points you didn't flesh out as well as you could have.

 

I told my uncle I'd mention high times, I know it doesn't really flow well though.

And I did zero research for it. My friend lived with me at the time and we just smoked and he helped edit... But it was my first attempt at writing.

I still don't have it down, my teacher made me take "..." out, as you can see I use it a lot. In fact I use it in every post pretty much. That and commas.

 

Not bad.
I never went by grades though, English teachers seemed to especially hate me and took it in account when marking, so I'd get a lower grade for something on WW2 than a half page, poorly written essay on some bullshit actor or something.

 

My teacher was the same guy all three years I went before I got my G.E.D. and I am pretty sure I was his favorite student.
Its weird, we both like a lot of the same music, hes even been to a Tool show. We'd always be bullshitting about stuff.
He noticed how ripped out of my mind I was when I came in an hour late to finals(the first half is study hall but they decided to just do it then) along with a few other people that laughed.
He was the absolute shit, he read the best books and he was the person that suggested I read Fear and Loathing and Electric Kool-Aid. Great man.

 

Thats cool.
I unfortunately, never had a good english teacher.
The ones that liked me didn't know how to teach, the ones who could teach hated me for no reason.
I'm actually good at english, love books and poems... and I worked hard even if I didn't want to, but they just fucking hated me anyway.

 

Essays should never have "so in conclusion" and I see no mentioning of Mark Emery. I'm disappointed.

 

I didn't even know about him until Super High Me... I'm not familiar with you and your Canadian ways!

 

I'm impressed you know about him

 

That movie sucked.. The whole popular culture of weed and legalization basically annoys me

This is one of my favorite sites to check out whats going on in the world of ganja politics http://cannabisnews.com/

 

How are you impressed? I met him once. He did a tour across Canada smoking up along the way and holding rallies.

He also used to own City Lights Books, a used bookstore that is still in existence in London, where Emery is from, and where I live.

 

Seriously? I hated his comedy cuz he isn't too funny but I learned a lot about how medical works. I found out about Mark Emery and dispensaries and such.