15 year old boy in a 2 year relationship, help please!

your relationship sounds very unhealthy, bordering on abusive. Not to gang up on you, but guys who think of themselves as the woman's "father" often turn out to be wife beaters. "I don't want to hit her, but she just won't learn".

End it. And be nice about it. Find yourself a woman who is not "weak minded" (I doubt she really is). If you are not learning to keep your mouth shut or risk having to apologize, she is not challenging you enough. You're a man, right? Therefore you are wrong most of the time. She just doesn't have the guts to tell you.

Don't make my wife come on and explain this to you.

 

What bullshit.
Someone must've been abused by your father, or else you wouldn't associate those two (see how easy it is to pull stereotypes out of your ass and make up assumptions)

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Talk about gender bias. Grow some balls, man.


As far as the "weak-minded", probably not the best choice of words, but he clearly meant that she is not very assertive.

Everything (else) britdogg said makes him sound like a genuine and caring guy, who is legitimately troubled. For you to turn around and attack him like that, is ridiculous, pretentious, and just plain mean.

 

nope, never abused by a dad. but as a kid i had a relationship just like the one he described. i was sure I had my reasons at the time, and that i was helping her be more assertive, but i've come to realize it was an abusive relationship. she hasn't done well in life, and i can't help but wonder if i contributed. at the time, i thought i was helping. her previous boyfriend had been abusive. what is the distinction between physical and psychological abuse? the gravest effects of physical abuse are psychological. your wounds heal, but not your soul.

i'm a genuine and caring guy, and yet I got into a similar situation. It was only circumstance that got me out of it. "wife beater" was not the best choice of words, but we all have it in us to be abusive, and it does not happen all at once. we take tiny steps to get to that point. I thought I'd shock you now so you realize what is going on.

a healthy romantic relationship does not involve a father figure.

Growing balls happens the day you are not afraid to admit to your wife that you are wrong, even when you still believe you are right. I know that makes no sense to a bachelor, but the truth is the testosterone clouds your judgement. It's best to trust someone with less testosterone.

 

I still don't see how either situation is above; yours or his. I tend to help my girlfriend out a lot, with things she should be able to do by now (which, at my age, everyone has some of these.) It makes me feel a bit like a father sometimes; but am I abusive because I advise her on how to speak her mind to people, or how to get out of awkward social situations?
Now, if this was extremely frequent, and I felt like I was "fathering" her all the time; it would cause a shift in the relationship, and I probably wouldn't be too happy about it.
I understand maybe, how this can go into a more gray area, and how it could lead into possible abuse. In a situation where maybe, the boyfriend told the girlfriend what to do, all the time, and controlled her life; but I don't think there is anything in OP's post to indicate that here.

Digressing a little, but oh well: I have an adult female friend who lets her girlfriend control her life, and I've always had a certain dislike for the situation. But in that case, she has a conscious understanding of her dependence so, she chooses it, and it's no longer abuse?

I'm not a bachelor; (almost) 2 years committed here, man; we may not have gotten to rings yet, but I don't plan on it ending any time soon =)
And nah, my girl's not the type of girl where I have to do that. She's pretty rational and reasonable. We can disagree and still lay next to each other in bed (I mean that figuratively =P.) But, it does take balls to admit she's right when she is right sometimes... I would never surrender without proper reason. +_+

 

oh, you're a bachelor all right. You've got a lot to learn. Hey, so do I, but at 19 and in a 2 year relationship you are by definition a bachelor and don't know the first thing about marriage. Just wait until you are married and have your first financial argument. Things fall apart FAST if you don't grow a pair, swallow your pride, and keep your mouth shut at the right time.

I'm sorry, but "I tend to help my girlfriend out, with things she should be able to do by now" does not sound like a healthy attitude to me. Not intentional abuse by any stretch, and I'm not telling you to break up, but that is not the kind of respect a man needs to have for a woman. Live together for a while, and you'll find out just how smart a woman is compared to a man of comparable intelligence. Either that, or you will start abusing each other.

"I would never surrender without proper reason" sounds like clueless to me. Marriage is all about compromise. Learn it now, or regret it later. People hate to hear this, but you sound like me at 19. I was wrong then, you are wrong now.

 

Hey buddy, don't ever insult or demean my relationship in any way; especially not over something as silly as a ring and a title. Money doesn't matter too too much for either of us; we were both raised poor; and I'd like to get money, but I know how to deal without.

We're teenagers/young adults; we're still learning (or, still open about still learning =P) almost all of us have skills we haven't fully developed. Hers are mostly social; mine are mostly matters of motivation or related to my anxiety disorder.

My girlfriend is insanely intelligent when it comes to matters of rationality. I'm pretty intelligent in trivial, "book", and creative ways. Everyone has their own intelligence. But, you talk about an unhealthy attitude; when you are sexist against your own gender!

I compromise when compromise is needed/deserved; not when I'm right. Me and my girlfriend don't fight when we disagree; no one has to win for us to be content with each other; we recognize that people can have difference of opinion.