girlfriend going for drink with other guy

hey,
my gf of 3 years works for a recruitment consultant and is in constant contact with certain ppl every day from her job. theres a guy she speaks 2 over the phone at work who lives in a nearby town (like 10 mins drive away) who keeps sayin 'so when r we goin 4 a drink then?'
im not a majorly jealous person and i do trust her 100%, but for some reason i feel really uncomfortable with her going for a drink wiv him. she hasnt said yes yet or agreed, and has told me everythin, but she doesnt rlly kno wat to say to him.
i just wana kno how i shud b feelin an wat other guys think bout their gf goin 4 a drink wiv another guy hu shes never met but speaks to ova the fone and has added on facebook, cuz rite now im not too happy but cant rlly work out y cuz i kno i can trust her completely. i guess maybe its more the fact that he's chancing it wiv my gf by asking her out and shes guna go along wiv it an hes getting what he wants? just pisses me off tbh but maybe i shud jus suck it up an deal wiv it?

 

Hm... I'm just thinking about going for drink with my ex and my bf trusts me too..

Look I don't know Your Lady, but most of the women I know well are like me: I would go for drink with someone only I was even just a little bit attracted to him. It doesn't mean I would like to cheat, but if she's going, she'll probably like him... which is no reason to be jealous...

 

If you really are that unhappy with the situation your girlfriend should respect that, however if your this unhappy with just a drink then you need to figure out why you don't trust her with him.

I've told my fiancee that I'm not ok with him going out with his ex's without me there, they have made consistant tries to break us up so I feel as if I'm being fair in not trusting it, because I know for sure that they will try something. This guy could just be friendly.

 

fuuunia - shes made it very clear she is just friends with him cuz they speak on the fone at work everyday, so i dont think she likes him in any way like that.
sahrarei - its not that i dont trust her because i do, i just dont like the idea of her effectively givin in to what he wants just cuz he's asking her all the time. he's not even rlly asking her hes sayin 'so when r we goin 4 a drink then' like forcing an answer as shes not the type of person that likes to say no. shes now sayin to me she just wants to 'get it out the way' so he'll stop asking her. my worry is, will he? they go for one, then shes actually met him face to face and if she found it hard enough to say no the first time what happens is he asks again. and again. im probrably reading waaay too much into this and for all i kno he could be honestly askin just as friends. but as a guy theres always that worry he'll try it on and i dont want her put in that situation if it can be avoided. at the same time i dont wana tell her what she can and cant do!

 

so why not just go with her?

 

hah cant jus go with her, i dont even kno the guy an that wud definitely seem too over-protective. ahh screw it i'll just have to deal with it an see what happens. if i let her off the leash this once maybe she'll respect that an wont feel the need to do it again, and then at least he cant keep pestering her for a drink. think im makin 2 big a deal of it, just wanted some other guys opinions of how theyd feel bout their girl goin out wid a guy she speaks too often at work.

 

If I let her off of the leash? wow that sounds attractive

 

hah was a figure of speech, im not that controlling at all.....honestly!
doesnt seem to matter any more anyway, we mite be breakin up because she cant handle me being away at uni so if that happens then ive lost everythin
is seeing someone only 1 an a half days a week not enough to keep a 3 year relationship together after a year at uni already plus 4 months apart for travelling? i duno, apparently not any more

 

people have needs. that includes affection. People also need sex sometimes. if you want to be in a relationship, you better believe you will be cheated on at some point.

I have rules: no one when I'm home, no one in my bed, no staying over, and no risky activities. So far, my wife has not strayed, and neither have I, but it's only a matter of time if we stay married until death. I guess the BF/GF phase is over, and we are in the living alliance called marriage.

 

My husband occasionally goes out for a drink with his coworkers as a celebratory "thing" after a particularly annoying project is finished. MOST of his coworkers happen to be women, and they are ALL fairly attractive. Have I ever worried? Nope. WOULD I ever worry? Not likely. Why? Because I trust him completely.

This isn't a matter of blind trust though. We have been together for just short of 17 years and I KNOW he would never do anything that would compromise that trust. Just as he knows that I would never do anything to compromise his trust in me.

If you trust her, there shouldn't be any harm. If you don't... what are you doing in a 3-year relationship with her?
love,
mom

 

okaayyy so quite a lots happened since my last post.
we ended up going on a 'break' and then we actually broke up.
i found out recently she did go out for a drink with this guy, and even better started seeing him for a couple of weeks (i know nothing serious happened, but he likes her a lot so they probly kissed at the very least)

we were together over 3 an a half years since we were 16, so first real love for both of us. i got talking to her about 2 or so weeks ago on the net, one thing led to another an we went on a date an hav now started 'seeing each other' - ie we talk on the fone, go on dates and all the stuff couples do, but havent actually agreed were together yet.

it seems like now were headed back together, and i know for a fact she's told this guy shes not interested (he got tickets for them to see the lion king at theatres and she told him no cuz shes still got feelings for me - he said he understands an wants her to b happy blah blah blah)

we both want this but im a little scared that, say 2 months down the line she gets attention off someone else, decides to 'try them out' for a couple weeks, decide she doesnt like them and then comes back to me.
now im not completely innocent, i started seeing a girl at uni too but have cooled it off ova xmas and will slash it completely if i get back wiv my ex. maybe thats y im not so mad at finding out she actually took things further wiv this guy (tho cant help feel a little bit hurt bout that)
jus wana kno wats a good thing to do? get back wiv her (which i do rlly want to do), an if it happens again make the break up it final cuz i dnt wana b messed around? or just avoid it altogether?

 

If you feel you can trust her then give it another go, but if she messes you around again kick her to the curb and never look back.

 

She's at that age where she's still curious and learning about who she is and what she wants in life. It may or may not work out for you in the long run. You will just have to see how it plays out. If it doesn't work out than it was really never meant to be. You are young and will have several more opportunities to meet your dream girl. So, just give her your best effort and see what happens.

Concerning the guy who was persistent in wanting to meet her for a drink, I knew before I read through this entire thread that he wanted more than just a drink. He was more or less badgering her with the same question instead of acting professionally. I would have gotten the hint to stop asking her if she didn't say yes after the first few times. The fact that they ended up together only reinforces my opinion. The dude was a snake. That said, I would say 98% of the people who request a business meet and drink are doing so with business only in mind. It's that other 2% you have to watch out for.

Good luck and listen. You really need to work on your spelling.

 

thanks for the replies. yeah ur right, i'll give it my best shot as ive still got real strong feelings for her, and it seems to be going okay now, like i said im jus a bit worried she may get comfortable with me again and then decide later on she wants to try something new again - i guess if that happens then its time to call it a day for definite.
i hav the same worry bout myself tho so its not all one way, i may decide in 2 months time i wana experience a bit more, but for now at least i'll giv it another go.
yeh i knew that asshole was in it for more than a drink, and it rlly irritates me i know he got more than that. cant take it out on her, at least she didnt cheat as we agreed to go on a break plus i probly did worse than she did in our time apart. just not nice to know some other guy has actual feelings for the girl im in love with and have loved for the last almost 4 years exclusively.

 

My husband and I were once in that bf/gf ldr thing he lived way up north i lived the opposite direction 18 hrs away. It took a bit to get used to. We talked on the ph msned yahoo chat etc you know as hard as it may be IT CAN work!! Actually it DID work for us . WE have been faithfully together for 6 years and married 3 years in March. I have faith that if you want it to work and she (your gf) doesn't well maybe you should have a deep long heart to heart talk with her if you want it to last. best of luck!!