Channel Five Documentary

Are you the Gayest Family in Britain?!

Are you a gay man/woman who also has any gay siblings, relatives or parents?
If so, I would love to hear from you for a groundbreaking TV documentary exploring the link between sexuality and genetics.

This is an exciting opportunity and a leading pioneering film that will be directed by a Bafta award winning Director.


This documentary in no way depicts any negative attitudes towards the gay community

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you are interested.

Best Regards,

Jenny

 

Isnt it funny how when we talk about the influence of siblings and parents we jump straight to genetics, and try and pretend it doesnt have anything to do with cohabiting with parents / siblings over decades.

Its not that no one knows where gay mostly comes from its just that it has to do with stuff no one ever likes to even think about, let alone talk about.

No one wants to talk about:

*Getting practiced on by an overenthusiastic 8yr old sister or cousin when your 5

*Being a little 4 yr old dude with 3 older brothers learning way too fast and too early that what gets your brothers attention the most is imitating the hot sister, hot female cousin or little alphafemale they go to school with. Or even worse than that, the other side of the coin, that growing up with a couple of older brothers makes family life a touch more like prison than if you had no older brothers to deal with

* or what no one really likes to talk about, little dudes learning too early that the best way to get dads attention is to imitate the favourite daughter, the one that sexes it up with the voice and body language the most or the one that gives extra strong puppy dog eyes.

Siblings are in the end just one set of peers, their infleunce, no matter how important we all like to think it is, is nothing compared to the hundreds of peers a little dude or dudette meets at childcare/school/playmates


You want to make a ground breaking doco, try looking into that (roughly) 2% of females already switched on to thinking about babies and how to get babies at 6 yrs old and what they get up to when no one else is watching with the timid approachable 5yr old dude that looks more like a little baby son to play with compared to any of her other peers

As I said, its not that no one knows where gay comes from (the big piece of the puzzle anyway) just that its only 1/2 the gay guys, parents of that 2% and later on in life that top 5% of the most alphamale of alphamales that ever really get to see how it is with that top 2% of the most voracious girls. And with the gayguys, they suppress a lot of that early childhood stuff until later on in life

 

I'm a gay guy and I have two lesbian sisters. Both adopted though.

 

See, if I didn't know where this post was going, I would've assumed you were going to go on to say that homosexuality is probably more prevalent in families which have gay family members because people are less likely to suppress gay impulses when they've been raised believing that they won't be judged harshly for doing so. I'd also argue that nurture could have some effect on development of sexuality generally, although I'd have no reason to believe it. But then you go on to tell us what the "obvious" explanation that we're all pretending not to know about is, and I'm sorry kitten, but I think you're mistaken if you believe that the reason people aren't talking about it is that they're just in denial about it.

OK, so I know you've written the perfect mechanism into this by saying that "no-one wants to talk about this", but I do want to talk about it when i say that I would like to see some kind of substantiation of these claims. I know we've agreed on stuff in this forum in the past but I've always been rather troubled by these intimations about homosexuality and sexual experiences at young ages.

I mean, I'm not sure I'll be convinced even then, but is anyone else willing to say "I'm gay because my sister touched me"? I don't think it's necessarily true whether people would admit it or not, but just out of curiosity I'd like to know.

And you fit into that category?

 

Well, that's the trouble, one starts talking about kids having naughty feelings and everyone defaults to "oooh, hang on, too close to pedo talk", and thus dont like to dwell on it.

I'll take this opportunity to assure everyone in no way am I condoning any kiddie fiddlers.

As for childhood influence,You can see it in the straights, all this talk about love and soulmates and yet when it comes to the crunch, when it comes to picking husband / wife, the vast majority of them will end up with a guy like her dad or a girl like his mum, or whoever was the most important member of the opposite sex when they were little


Quoting research? - no one is ever going to be able to survey guys running around in beats to see who the majority of them really are, no one is going to be able to survey bunches of curious 8 yr old girls and what they may get up to with a manageable 6yr old male school friend in the cubbyhouse when no one else is around

I am not an authority, I'm not claiming anyone should take my word for it, my main aim with such posts is to get everyone to at least consider what gets hidden underneath things people dont like to talk about, never admit to or purposely feel they need to deflect suspicion.

Unfortunately there is stuff in life that is all 100% experience. Roger Federer might be able to write down how to serve a ball, tips on improving your return or a basic tennis guide, but he will not be able to explain how he knows within a millisecond whether his opponent is going to return on his left or his right side - that kind of thing comes from thousands of matches and practice sessions. We see that kind of stuff yet refuse to believe some gay guys are better at reading guys than others, have that gaydar working better than others. We see the professional musician that can instantly tell the difference between an A# and a G, when the majority of the rest of the population can't; and yet we refuse to believe their are some gay guys out there that can tell what the change in pitch in a guys voice in response to them really means, when the majority of the population cant.

There are some brutal truths to life we as gay guys are going to have to face eventually:

- Its not either / or, there are some gays gayer than others, tend to exclusive more than others

- Gay before puberty means something very different to gay after puberty

- Gay is not the one thing, different gay gays get very differnet kinds of attention from subsets of both the gay and straight population




Lastly, please dont take any of this as banging my own drum, I'm a big, beefy, non-pretty gay guy, I might have some luck with guys that want to get ravished by a gorilla , no chance with a guy that wants cute

 

Yeah, that's called Freud, but even that old degenerate never claimed that sex and sexual abuse was so central to development in anything but a metaphorical sense.

I'm not saying that you're condoning sexual abuse, just that you're using this "if you don't agree, you're too scared to agree" thing to give you carte blanche to say whatever you like, and since you can't substantiate it any other way, I feel you're pulling an undeserved sense of superiority out of the ether here.

Who's denying the existence of gaydar? I've heard maybe five people adamantly claiming that it doesn't exist ever. Most people either believe in it, take it with a pinch of salt, or have never heard of it. And why shouldn't it exist? We're hardly talking about telepathy here, just body language. It'd be pretty weird if gay people didn't have body language. Of course, if it is just about reading body language, then there's no reason to think that gay guys would be able to do it any better than straight guys, unless they'd been exposed to identified gay people and examples of that behaviour, in order to establish a link between a behaviour and a trait. How would one know someone is angry, if one had never seen anger before? They might learn pretty quickly, but there'd be a moment when they simply had no idea what was coming.

Then again, I think some gay guys want to be read, and some gay guys want to read others as gay so much that they can have a 10% hit-rate and still think they're homo-psychic.

So how would you know it then? It's great that you can come up with all kinds of colourful examples, but why should anyone, yourself included, take them as being any more than anecdotal, or even imaginary?

It just seems like, if you going to insist that people are just too scared to discuss this, you should be able to discuss it yourself. Which you so far aren't really doing, so much as reasserting the same point with the proviso that you're no authority. If you're no authority, why listen to yourself?

 

Fair enough, I'll stop ranting......perhaps something a bit more focused, a thread on everyones tips on gaydar or something

Just re-reading thru what I've written here, some of it sounds mean anyway