Gross shit that has happend to ya

My daughter when she was just starting to walk we would wrestle around and she normally was wearing just her diaper. Well I picked her up above my head went to pop her on the butt (just goofing off) and her diaper was full of very loose crap. It blew up her back and rained all over me.

 

:smilielol5::rofl:

 

I've kissed a boy. That's pretty gross.

 

It must not have been the right boy!

 

That's why you kiss men. They at least know to blow their noses so they don't keep snot on their faces.

 

I dont think I miss the kiss as much as this time a year I just miss the snuggle when you come in from the cold but then I have warm blankets and they dont bitch.

 

one time when I was about five or six, my brother and I went for a walk.
It was a pretty far walk...anyway, I eventually had to go to the bathroom but we were in the middle of nowhere and I ended up pissing myself.
Not only that, but it went all down my leg and since it was winter, it was COLD AS HELL...
when we got home I had jeans frozen to my leg by piss. I had to sit in a hot bath for a while to unfreeze it lol

 

Yank, that is such a beautiful story.

When I was about 7 or 8 I used to pee in the bath tub. One time I sort of went above water and accidentally peed straight into my mouth. It was awful, it had a really salty ammonia taste. I will NEVER forget it.

 

.

 

when my boy, skys, was a little baby, i was laying back on the couch and holding him up and playing with him, and he puked milk all on my face and eyes, i closed my eyes in time, but there was this thick layer of puke on my eyelids, i had to hold him, and with my eyes closed try to find the burp rag.

 

I was holding my nephew during his first ipecac experience.
I've lived in a house my whole life with a man who has bathed six times in twenty four years.
I've seen things. horrible things.

 

I lifted my son Nathaniel up over my head when he was a baby and was talking all kinds of baby talk. He threw-up in my mouth.

 

when i was a kid i was playing football in my backyard and i fell down, landing with one hand directly in a pile of fresh dog poop.

about a year ago i lost my keys in a friend's basement. i was feeling around on the floor for them (it was kind of dark) and i picked up something. upon closer inspection i realized i was holding a cat turd.

luckily i don't think i have any stories of bodily fluids going into my mouth.

 

Hahaha why do all you people keep lifting babies up? Learn your lesson already!

 

i had my stomach pumped when i was two. i remember parts of it vividly.

i had an infant throw up on my shoulder. i wasn't even holding it, i was a kid. someone at a wedding walked by carrying a baby, and it vomitted on my shoulder in passing

i stepped in dog shit barefoot once.

violent, projectile vomitting after drinking cheap red wine in highschool required almost two hours of cleanup. i thought i got everything, but i didnt.

i have eaten KFC on more than one occasion and gotten very ill as a result. once in a while it sits ok, and i forget the lessons i've learned in the past

TOO MUCH INFORMATION ALERT:
there was a very messy episode when i was getting head from a VERY talented ex....only problem was it was too much for me to handle and i finished uncontrollably pretty fucking close to the back of her throat....she gagged/coughed reflexively and...well....cause and effect ensued.

we did have a good laugh immediately after at least:cheers2: