Young mom

When I was 16 I found out I was pregnant. I was 17 when I had my wonderful baby girl. It changed my life. I grew up really fast. My daughter father and I are still together and our relationship has grown. We still live with his parents but theres a lot of reasoning behind that. But im working and going to school and he is going back to school. We pay for our daughter food and we pay for everything else she needs. There are still a few reasons why we arent living on our own....but there are some family things which i would really not like to go in.
I know people have their own opinions on things. I know that a lot of people look down on teen moms.
I get called a whore alot for having a baby so young and i just cant stand it anymore. The only guy ive ever been with is my daughter dad. I make sure that my daughter is going to have a good life and be there for her. Im doing what I can and Im doing the best I can. Im working hard for her and so is her father.
Im sick of the nasty looks and the nasty comments. It makes me so upset that a lot of people think teen moms arent going to be good enough parents. My whole life changed when my daughter was born. I got a job going to school and stopped doing the things i use to do. Yea i missed out on my teen years but she is worth everything i do. There are days when i dont feel like going into school because of the day before but i know that i have to to help give my daughter a good life.

I just had a really bad day and im hoping someone on here understands what im going through and maybe can help me through this.

 

*hugs* Being a young mother is HARD. It's especially hard when you get people that call you names or discourage you without knowing the whole story.

So, for once, here's something a bit different:

KUDOS TO YOU! For doing what you thought was right, defying what was easy, and raising your child to the best of your ability. Kudos for being so on top of things, working, going to school, caring for your child, growing up yourself, and being a partner in a committed relationship. All hard things, at any age. Even harder when odds are stacked up against you. You're doing it. And it's hard at times. Sometimes you might want to give up and give in, and yet you keep going. Despite it all. Good for you momma!

(I got pregnant at 19, had my daughter at 20, still with my husband - her father. And lemme tell ya, even being above eighteen at the time, I got some shit. And it's hard to fit into parenting/play groups because I'm young enough to be the child of some of the mothers there. Hell, in some instances, I'm young enough to be their granddaughter.

It does get easier, though. Not because circumstances change, but because you've been through them before. and you know you can do it again. Same stuff, different day. You'll make it, momma! PM me if you wanna talk!)

 

(((((((((hugs!!!)))))))))

I was pregnant at 19 too, and gave birth to my son 6 weeks after my 20th birthday. But because I look younger than I am, I had a lot of the head-shaking, "helpful comments" & "judging looks" too. My husband happens to look younger as well, and we probably heard everything you're going through.

Being a young parent is tough - and nasty people that just don't get it, make it worse. I got so tired of being snapped at that one day while being lectured about whether my son was supposed to have a hat on or a blanket covering him for the bajillionth time I snapped at one of those "older mom's" (you know, the ones who are pushing a stroller & clearly in their late 40's) that 100 years ago, SHE would have been the freak & I would have been the normal one.

Not that I recommend it, it caused quite the stir in the middle of a packed mall... but unfortunately I've had to learn the hard way when to keep my mouth shut in certain circumstances.

Keep your chin up & keep up the awesome job raising your little one TOGETHER It DOES get easier, and in another 5 years or so you'll be the one others go to for advice, since you'll already have "been there, done that" while everyone else is just getting started. And when it all gets to be too much, try to tell yourself that while others are just starting to put their kids on the bus, you'll be packing yours off to college & ready to start living life as empty-nesters while you're still PLENTY young enough to enjoy yourselves!
love,
mom

 

Aww thank you guys it really helped me hearing what you have to say. "hugs"

 

{{{Hugs}}} sweetheart. I had my oldest son at 21 and even though I was of that age and married, I looked much younger than my age at the time and I can absolutely relate to the nasty looks and comments. It really hurt.

I can recall one time when I was teasing my mom about how as much as she talked about my son, that someone would think he was hers! A stranger in the waiting room overheard this, looked me square in the eye, and said "well, who's raising him, hmmm?"

Well that made my mother go off. She informed the woman is a very icy tone that I was married and that I was the one raising the child, that she had to beg me to watch him because I wouldn't ever let anyone else take care of him! That shut her up real quick.

Just ignore those people honey, they're not worth the aggravation, believe me.

Now I hear "wow, you look so young to have three kids!" (but in a nice manner) and "wow, you look really good for having three kids!"

Trust me, it will get better...or maybe I've just developed more of a thicker skin over the years. But seriously, don't stress over it. Those people don't know you or your situation, so they can just mind their own dang business.

 

I had my son a week and a half after my 20th.
Just believe in yourself. As long as you know you're doing a good job, forget what everyone else says.
Go the young mums!

 

Sorry to hear that, people are, and probably always will be jerks.
They shouldn't judge because they don't know the full story, and still it's not their place to say whats right or wrong.
It sounds like you're doing well so keep it up just don't listen to them.

I got pregnant when I was 19, had her when I was 20 as well, and I got dirty looks too even though I look older than 20.
I just ignored it, but it still sucks that they can be like that when it used to be normal to have around 5 or more kids by 20... lol

 

I was 29 the last time I heard I was too young to have kids their ages...I take it as a compliment now. Just remember, it's not how old you are, but how much love you have for your sweet child.

 

well i understand from the opposite spectrum which i know sounds weird. it seems like 1. people are mean and cruel to young mothers. 2. people are mean and cruel to people like me who are 24 and just now having their first.
its a catch 22.
don't listen to these people sweetheart. trust me, you're obviously a great mother and obviously you did something VERY difficult for a young person and you're a survivor!

 

I was 16 when my daughter was born. She's 31 now, and an incredible person. She had a baby young, too, so I was a very young grandma to the most amazing boy on earth. My second grandson was born last week. It's actually a little odd to me to be the "regular" age to be his grandma.

I went on to finish college, get married, buy a house, and all that good stuff while raising a baby. It's not the easiest way, but I couldn't imagine my life without my daughter and grandsons.