Help me with a certain female

So I figured this would be a better place than the love and sex forum due to the prospect of more mature responses. Someone please move this if I'm wrong. Me and this girl met at a party at my place almost 2 months ago. We had sex that night, and have had it a few separate times as well. Over the course of the last 2 months, we've hung out and she became extremely flirty and I sensed a relationship building. She always wanted to kiss me and even hold my hand at times. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about these advances because I didn't know if I wanted to begin another relationship. Eventually we got to a point last week where we decided we needed to talk and figure it out. She said she'd call Friday night, but never did claiming she forgot her phone at a friend's house. Anyway, Monday rolls around and she calls to tell me she's coming over. When she gets to my place she basically says that something happened over the weekend that she doesn't want to talk about, and thinks she needs time without a boyfriend. After she left I went to work out and decided that she needed to know how I felt. She told me to write her a message outlining my feelings. I told her that though I wasn't looking for a relationship, I thought that we should at least keep things going and see where it leads. Her response was that she wants to really settle down in the next relationship she has, and thinks an older guy would be better at it (she's 21, almost 22.. I'm 20, almost 21). After a few more messages she decides that she is trying too hard to find a certain guy, and that she is being to controlling. She also says that she thinks we should remain friends with the possibility of something down the road, just not anytime "soon," and she mentioned really enjoying hanging out with me. My question is mostly for the women: How do I a) get this girl to hang out a little more? and b) how do I get her to warm up to me as she was before her weekend incident? I just think there has to be a way to advance something with this girl due to our admitted crazy chemistry and the way we communicated and interacted.. Thanks everyone

 

Well if I had some sort of mysterious incident happen that caused me to shy away from men for awhile the one thing I would NOT want would be a guy trying desperately to win my heart over.

However a nice, sweet guy who was "there for me" and just wanted to hang out with me on weekends & such... THAT would be awful nice - and would definitely be remembered once everything were solved again.

Seeing as you don't know what happened & she obviously isn't ready to share with you quite yet, it's hard to give you specifics. But that's what I'd try... just be there for her, and suggest hanging out together - your treat, dutch, some of each... just be friends & see what happens.
love,
mom

 

I say take it easy
I find the thing women hate the most is when you chase after them...
Just act completely friendly when you see her but DO NOT GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO SEE HER

Now its about playing the game of who needs who the worst
If you have this chemistry admittedly then she will come around
Unless there is none!

 

Yea I agree with the two posters above, you have to let her have some space, but also be there for her. Just try acting like a friend and let her make the first move when she's ready.