That first one reminds me of Bush's remark about shaking hands with a man who lost his arm in Iraq. .
I saw a local story a while ago about a guy that robbed the money out of the register at McDonald's and was arrested. His car wouldn't start, so he went back in and asked the manager for a jump. .
http://arcataeye.com/index.php?module=pagesetter&tid=2&topic=7 There are always a few good ones in the police logs over here ^^^