How to get your husband the perfect gift so he doesn't take it back.

Hello to all:
I am a first time poster. I have a friend that convinced me I should become part of this forum because it is a great place to share and get in line for some cool freebees. My discussion was with Lynda a friend who is a regular here. It all started with Christmas, the decorating, the meals, the parties, the presents for kids and family, then it centered on the husbands. Lynda was in somewhat of a quandary what to get her hubby and how much to spend. The next thing out of her mouth was, “What if he doesn’t like it and takes it back? I would be so disappointed. It is so hard to buy for him. Sweaters, socks, underwear and pants are what he usually needs but what I want to get him is something he wants and will enjoy”. When I told her my story with how I dealt with that issue, she said I absolutely had to share my experience.

My husband is a very gracious man and accepts my gifts with a smile however over the years I had noticed that some of the gifts were still unused months after I gave them to him. Usually still in the box. When I asked him about it he was embarrassed and sheepishly admitted that he really appreciated my effort but they really didn’t interest him. He didn’t have the heart to tell me because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. OoF!.......that’s just great; I had to ask myself, “What now?” I needed to use another approach but what? Okay, I can hear all of you out there saying “Just ask him what he wants”. Yea right! You know the answer, they will say things like “Oh I don’t know, surprise me”, or “What do you give a man that has everything and you to boot Honey”, that kind of baloney. What I needed was to push the right buttons but what buttons do I push and not end up wasting my time? That was the thousand dollar question. I decided to concentrate on his passions and look deeper at what worked and what didn’t work in the past then modify my searches. Not much unlike using Google. I decided to break things down but not over analyze them. That tends to make you second guess your decisions. Here is how I started.

My husband is a tool nut, he loves to tinker and make things out of wood, hence a very nice set of end tables among other things. He is very good at carpentry and loves to take classes when he can. Home depot to him is my Macy’s. Over the years I’ve tried to surprise him with tools I thought he’d like, magazine subscriptions, books etc. Some worked and some bombed. The tools usually were a toss up, he’d ask me if he could take some back but then he would keep others. Other things like stereo stuff I gave up on long ago, the Fine Homebuilding magazine subscription was a hit but the woodworking books collect dust. What to do? Modify, modify then modify some more. I know I’m getting somewhat dramatic and possibly long winded but I’m having fun. I’ve never written a post or something that a lot of other people may read. Letters to friends and family are about it. Sorry, I digress, back to the story. I needed a birthday present so the search was on. My husband is a very visual type of person and learns better by example. That really cut out manuals and books. Fine Homebuilding doesn’t seem to count for some reason….maybe because it has a lot of pictures. That was mean but I have to have fun with my Hubby sometimes. There I go digressing again. Since visual tutorials worked best I started to check out woodworking videos. That turned out to be a bust of sorts. I can’t tell you how many sites I looked through and I have to say, not much there with the exception of a couple. The best one I settled on was a woodworking video by “The Stairguy.” Just Google it and it will take you right there. The website was easy to navigate and I got my copy within a week. Quit knocking yourselves out ladies get videos, Ha! I don’t mean the ones in a video store that anyone can buy or rent I mean movies that support his passions. I can’t believe how HUGE woodworking is and most guy love to work with wood! Lots of books but almost no videos. I was lucky to find this one. Besides the video, I coupled it with a really cool mini DVD player that he can prop up on his stomach while lying in bed. This way he can watch a video while I read next to him or in the car on long trips. I did it! Finally something that is uniquely his, a gift that he uses often and completely enjoys. It gives him some “Him” time and he can do it without huddling down in his workshop or behind his computer. It really is nice to hang out together like that. I even got a set of headphones for myself so we can cuddle and watch movies together. Believe me it is different than watching a TV in your room. I guess you have to try it to see what I mean.

If your husband likes to work with wood or he does carpentry for a living, get him this DVD. My husband keeps it in his shop and refers to it all the time and has even lent it out to friends. Needless to say the DVD and the mini DVD player were winners so now I can build on that for Christmas. Oh by the way, you can get the personal DVD player at most electronics stores or the big box stores for a very reasonable price.

This is obviously not for everybody but what my goal was to show an example of the process I used. Maybe I am naive but having a few failures helped me to achieve success. I believe if you are persistent you will prevail. Buying presents is just a small part of that but it is a great place to start. My marriage is a work in progress and I've been married for 20 years this last September all I can say is “Never a dull moment.”

Good luck, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Lori.:cheers2:

 

most men i know love an appreciate a good electronic device. would he like a GPS system for his car, perhaps? they are about a hundred bucks at target. or a nice power tool.

or buy him the box set of twilight zone or seinfeld DVDs.

 

all i can say is good luck. sometimes i get it right and many times i don't. it's the thought that counts .. right? (who said that anyway?)

 

i listen as best i can, but i no way, shape or form am i thoughtful, sensitive person. we're not big on the gift giving thing. occaisionally really inspiration will strike, and i'll just get and give the gift then, not wait for a holiday.

i also forget birthdays, anniversaries, etc. dave says this makes me a perfect wife.