i constantly fuck things up. help would be appreciated.

well yeah. it seems like i'll never learn from my mistakes.
this will be kinda long, but if someone could give me advice i'd be really grateful.

i'm gonna have to begin with this party i went to, in august. went there with a guy, at that time i thought we could be together, i didnt see the obvious i was blind and stupid and all. (we're good friends but thats not the point) so at this party, i met another guy, Daniel. i could see that he really liked me, we talked and drank, and i kinda liked him (but one of his hands is um.. weird. i cant describe it..) , but i still thought that i wanted to be with the other guy. god i was so stupid! but anyway, i flirted with Daniel, he put his arms around me and we kissed, and talked a lot etc.

then well. it was around 2 a.m. and we were going down the street to this lake (like, 10-15 of us were left at the party, the others left) (till 2am we were in the pub but they kicked us out). and they guy i came with, he got really drunk, and he came up to me and put his arms round my waist. and i let him even tho i knew he was drunk and that we are not gonna be together ever. i know im such a fool but i was happy. and i thought, well, carpe diem. we kissed and Daniel saw us.
and the worst was, i hurt his feelings and he blamed himself. HE apologized. and asked if eventually, much later, i wanted to go out with him. i said yes. and i meant it. i tried to forget this night. i met him a couple of times, at parties. he didnt talk a lot to me. i finally made up my mind to apologize, but i couldnt really bring myself to say it.
so i added him on msn and he was really suprised but he was happy, he told me. and we talk almost every day, and i changed. i was a goddam fool, i misjudged him, i didnt really know him and the more i got to know him the more i liked him. i fell in love.. i thought he loved me too or had strong feelings or something because he sometimes called me "my cutie" and told me that he'll always be there for me.
i well... told him the truth. he said he's so suprised he cant say a word and this is inconceivable. that he thought a lot about this, he was thinking about a relationship but always dismissed it from his mind because he thought i would never go out with him. and now it came true and he doesnt know what to do.
he also told me that lately another girl has said that she kinda likes him, and he also said that i have more chance. i told him that no one could love him more than i, but whatever his decision will be i'll accept it. and he doesn't have to answer now because i'll wait forever if i have to.

but now, im a little disappointed. i thought he loved me. i thought that when i told him, he would say yes at once. now im in an uncomfortable situation, "tables turnin now".. i appreciate he's honest but still..
and it's so confusing.. we got on well, we talk a lot, but i dont know what to do and im gonna crack.
i am such a goddam fool.. if i didnt dump him that night, now we would be going out and i wouldnt be in a situation like this.
since i've told him everything, he's the one who's gonna decide whats gonna be.
i dont want discuss these things with him on msn but i dont wanna ask him to meet me. i want him to ask ME to meet him.
i decided that im not gonna talk about these thing on msn, we both been kinda busy lately. i thought im gonna wait until the next concert (he plays in a band), its gonna be next week or the week after, i dunno.

and i dont know what attitude i should have when i talk to him. how should i behave? what should i say?..should i show him how much i love him.. ?.. but i dont wanna seem desperate, and i dont wanna beg him either..

i know i made a mistake but i changed.. i want him back..
what do i do? help me please...

 

WELL TELL him. if you want him let him know and get him. if he loves you he'll listen.

 

You need no advice. If your here and asking questions. You already have your awnser. Life is like playing a hand of poker. Sometimes you need to take 3 steps back and make sure you are not letting your emotions get the better of you.

 

thank you, new-guy and Nikalaus
i meeting up with him soon so i'll update maybe.

 

Got to tell him. If he means that much to you, you have to go for it all.

 

update: i met him yesterday, we went to a concert/party kinda thing, and we ended up kissing and he told me "you know what?" i said what, he said "i love you"
im so happy tho i didnt say anything. i hope everything will be alright now

thank you guys for givin me advice