ahh, confused again

I am semi on the verge of my first relationship. I know he digs me, but i don't know how i feel. could someone more experienced pm me, i need to talk it out

 

take your time and go slow with it lol!! you don't have to ~*fall in love*~ straight away with him!!!

 

you dont have to have an immediate answer to how you feel about someone. a relationship with someone is all about learning, at your own pace as well, and if he's a cool guy he'll let you figure things out and won't make you make any decisions before you're ready.

communication is neccesary though. if you aren't sure how you feel, make sure you also don't lead him on- for example, telling him you love him in return when he says he loves you, even if you're not sure that you love him, but rather just to avoid conflict. I'm just using that as a broad example, but just make sure you're honest with him about your feelings, and that you communicate them- because no matter how often you think he picks up on how you feel, only direct communication can ensure that, and assuming anything when it comes to how one feels about the state of a relationship is never good- these types of things need to be talked about and addressed.

good luck! also remember not to overthink things too much and trust your gut! you'll know whats best!

 

the thing is, i like him, hes cool, cute, etc. but i don't have that sexual drive towards him. I don't really know what the best word for that is but hopefully you guys get what i am trying to say.

Shouldn't i have that first? and then develope the relationship. I don't want to develope a relationship and then never get into him.

I really am confused about this. So confused that I almost feel like I should hook up with a girl to make sure I really am gay. I don't know if its him or me and this sucks being confused again. ughh

 

Hmm...Yeah you sound pretty darn confused. What I reckon you should do is to maybe do some sexual stuff with the guy before getting into a relationship then. Then if you still feel you're just not into it, you don't have to worry about going through a major break up or anything. And also, if you dont find this guy all that attractive, do you know what kind of guy you DO find attractive?

 

i agree with andy on this one - dont go for it just beceuse you kinda like him - make sure he is right

 

Hmm, I've been thinking about it, and I think I just want to stay friends.


also, did anyone else feel wierd about their first gay relationship. I am definitely attracted to guys but being in a relationship, for some reason, now just seems kind of weird to me.

 

I've always felt weird in my previous relationships.. I taught that I might be the problems not the guys ... Five months ago I met Dario and he is wonderful, he taught me how to enjoy sex (I was terrible at the beginning, erection won't last and do not enjoy sex) now I am able to have fun although I still have much to learn and my sex drive is growing ... I guess communication and connection with the guy is the key, if the guy is self-centred you will never be able to enjoy it with HIM and defiantly won’t ever love him

 

find someone who you do have a sexual drive for? maybe you got bored of him shrug

 

If there is NO sexual attraction on your part, you are better off staying friends.

Yet, you seem far to confused to be sure that you are really NOT attracted to him sexually at all. Though, you may think that this is rather a unique situation, it is not.

That's where the dating comes in. Dating does not mean being in a relationship. You are both exploring your compatibilities and testing the waters... At times, sexual attraction develops, when you least expect it. No one really controls that.

The most important thing, as always is communication. Make yourself clear, and DO NOT rush into any committment too soon.

Relationship is a fine thing. But only if it is the right one. And the good thing often needs its time.

KD

 

Thanks guys, you've been a lot of help. I kind of dropped the whole thing. I didn't think the would work out due to how we met and the mutual friends that got us there. I guess we will just stay friends.