I’m wondering how many of you students and teachers hang out together? When I was in college in the early 80’s it was normal to hobnob with the professors. One in particular had weekly dinners at his house, when he and his wife cooked spaghetti for a dozen students and regaled us with anecdotes and useful bits of information about history, music, literature, politics, philosophy, etc. Now I teach evening classes at a community college, and usually go to the 24 hour restaurant afterwards. Often I run into some of my students, and we hang out together. When I talked to the Dean about this, she warned me against favoritism. There’s nothing wrong with socializing with students after class, she told me, as long as I make some general announcement so anyone could attend. Now I have to tell everyone, "I’m going over to IHOP for a coffee, you can join me if you wish." Some semesters a whole bunch of students will hang out over coffee, and gossip about classes, career choices, politics, sports, and general BS. Other semesters no one seems interested in hanging out with the teacher. What surprises me is the reaction of other teachers. Most of my colleagues have told me bluntly that what I do is "Dangerous" and they would never consider hanging out with students, or even meeting with them except in the classroom or department office. I remember Dr. B’s dinners as some of the most interesting discussions I ever had in college, and don’t understand why teachers would limit their educational roles, and student interactions, to a strict classroom format. What are your thoughts? ProfRob
I had a some very close relationships with teachers in high school, but now that I'm in college I feel like they're not offered to me. I think it's nice, especially when your truly alone for the first time as an adult, to have professors who you can look up to and bounce ideas off of. I wish more professors were willing to initiate such interaction.
In my experience, it depends on the prof, the department, & the student. During my first couple of years here (undergrad at a large state university), I don't think I ever spoke with a prof outside of class. Then I got involved with a student organization that encourages interaction among all levels (undergrad, grad, & faculty) within my major dept. So I've been to several prof's houses for various receptions & can chat with several of them on a friendly level. As for more informal interaction, like weekly dinners, I've not had that experience. My advisor is more the quiet reserved type, & when he goes home that time is for his wife and son. My boyfriend's advisor is similar -- goes in at 6:30 or 7 am, works in his office whenever he's not in class, leaves around 4 or 5 pm, & leaves all of his work in his office. On the other hand, one of the profs is having a halloween party for her students, shows up at stuff like a birthday dinner for one of her students & buys her margaritas, etc. But, that prof is really outgoing & just go-go-go all the time, so it fits her personality to be more friendly with students. I can guess at some reasons they would have this perspective, tho I think it is an overreaction. 1. Getting too close to students of whatever gender you are attracted to can be dangerous if you start to develop more interest than you should. I would argue that this is not terribly likely (unless you are just that type to fall in love anew every semester), but it should not be that big of a deal to stay aware of such potential & guard against letting any such feelings affect how you act as a prof. 2. Getting too close to students as friends can be dangerous in that you may wind up in the middle of some dispute that you'd rather not be in the middle of (couple breaks up, who do you like better type of melodrama, for example). Also, when a student really screws up a paper, it can complicate things -- getting a D from a more reserved prof is one thing, getting a D from someone you consider a friend hurts more. I bring this up because, this type of situation (with both problems) was an issue for a prof where my boyfriend did his MA, & it just got ugly. Again, it's something that doesn't have to be a problem, but you do have to be aware of such issues & maintain a healthy level of distance -- chatting about courses, other profs, philosophy, etc. is one thing, but when you become the one they go to for relationship advice and to discuss personal issues on a regular basis, you may want to consider backing away a bit. 3. There are of course all those risks of students' claims, whether they have any foundation in reality or not. If a student who fails the exam makes an accusation of favortism because everyone who went to hang out for coffee got an A, how will that be dealt with? I would think most people would think that it makes sense, as the better students are more likely to chat with the prof outside of class. Worst case scenario, you have an objective observer compare the tests, proving that there was no favortism. But how many of these profs care enuf to risk dealing with all of that? Of course, I probably rambled on far more than I should have, but I have a midterm tomorrow, so I'm making the most of this procrastination opportunity!
As long as all your exams are fill in the bubble it should be fine, lol. No one can argue with the bubbles. I could rip the head off one of my professors that give's me A's on essay papers one days and D's the next...and I swear they're the same ^&$%&^$^%$ quality.AGH! I have a paper to do for her this week....not lookin forward to it.
I'm pretty close with a teacher I had for two years in high school. He and I talk about everything from politics, movies and music, to careers and college, etc. A lot of my friends think I'm strange to be so friendly with someone who was in the graduating class of '69, but I agree, I don't understand why teachers can't be life-long mentors and a source of knowledge and wisdom for their students. I've also been to dinner with a high school teacher (with about 5 other students), that's one that could have gotten her in trouble because she roomed with other teachers at the school and talked about their drunken shindigs. But anyway, I find nothing wrong with hanging out with students, especially at a resuraunt or coffee shop. Come on now, its not like you are bringing them home and seducing them.
I have this teacher from highschool, he's a great friend, we hang out all the time, and he hangs out with other students from my class and from other classes. But he's really young like 21.. and he goes out drinking with us.. to the beach, and I can talk about philosophy with him or I can talk about sex and drugs and his romatic deals.. he was a teacher and a friend. Now he's just my friend. When I still was he student we always respected him the same way as a teacher and everything, but he clarified that in school he's just a teacher, like the fact that we are friends doesn't mean we can take advantage of that, and stuff like that. But he's great, one of the greatest teachers I've had. university.. I haven't had time to hang out with my teachers, I just started, just started to getting to know them. But there's this one that's really cool, he's kinda young too, 32 he said... but I think I'll keep everything on the classroom, because he's kinda cute, don't wanna get the guy in trouble...
WOW!!! People are really close to their teachers...by drinking I was like:O_O but then I so sex,romance, and drugs, I was like this: O_~O It's amaziing!!! I wish I met a teacher like that before. In the school I'm at currently though, my best friend's mother is the principle. In 7th/8th grade I had a HUUUGEE crush und the principles son!!!! I once knew someone who shared their love intrests with a teacher....
Yeah, I talk to a few of my teachers outside of class. I've smoked a few times with my brother and his friend(they're both teachers), but they were'nt my teachers. I would'nt think being friends with a teacher would really be a problem. I'm a mature person, I can handle a D when I hand in a shitty paper. You just have to respect that they're still the teacher and we're still the students. A few of my teachers are pretty cool. I think it's good to talk to teachers outside of the class, to really find out who they are. Like last year, me and my enviromental science teacher would always talk about marijuana. He did'nt smoke, he really did'nt like it at all, but we could still talk about it on a mature level, without disrespecting eachother.
I did associate with some professors in college...mostly in the way you mentioned, either getting some beer or food with them or at a dinner at someones house. I do know one woman who slept with my advisor, kind of blew my mind at the time, but I find it acceptable, she was at least 22 at the time.
i think the situation is different in college than in high school. at my college, we're a very small university and it's totally encouraged to go hang out with your professors. professors often have students over for dinners, etc, i think i've been to like four different professor's houses. high school? that's a different story. it blows my mind that a high school teacher would risk their career by drinking with or doing drugs with an underage student. i know it happens, and of specific examples, but to me that is just stupid and irresponsible. it doesn't make them cool, it makes them just that, irresponsible. but hanging out in a coffee shop with your college prof? no problems, that's just really cool
During HS, I had a teacher who I talked with about everything. It was a small school and I really didn't have many peers to talk to. Defintely an interesting couple of years. Now during college, I haven't really hung out with my professors but I know some people who do. Some of the professors do invite students over to their homes for a dinner and what not.
well is different in DR, even though the age to legally drink is 18, people start drinking since very young, I would say 14-15 but I think is younger than that and you can get alcohol without any problem, no need to hide it from your parents or anybody, it just doesnt matter. My teacher didnt do drugs with me, he knew I did, I could do it in front of him and it was ok. But it was never a problem that we hang out with him to anybody.
I'm going to be a k-12 teacher. I would NEVER EVER hangout with my students outside of school. I will most likely live a distance away from the school just so that I'm safe. I don't want to risk my career.
I used to do drugs and go shroomin' with my highschool philosophy teacher. I don't think the school ever told him anything about favouritism... he loved me (I also did the homework and got the highest grades on his tests though ) In college, I find than teachers are alright with hanging out with students who are over 21... for a glass of wine or a beer. One of my teachers divorced his wife and married a student (friend of mine) the day after she graduated from college
College is certainly a more fitting place to "hang" with students. Even then, a teacher must be very careful. The teacher student relationship is based off of authority and respect... once that is destroyed within a particular student or group of students, it is lost permanently and teacher can no longer do his job effectively. To be honest, one of the reasons I refuse to teach in this country is that the liabilities for showing any outside the classroom attention to a student or group of students are staggering. We've reached the day and age where a kindergarten teacher can no longer safely give the crying student a hug to comfort him or her.
I sort of go both ways on this topic. There are a number of issues that I think matter a lot--the age of the students, what "hanging out" entails, etc. I DO like the idea of being able to talk to teachers about non-class issues, and even to develop a bond with them that can transcend the school environment. However, at the same time, especially when students are still at the school, there are boundaries that should not be crossed. I still believe a teacher should be a mature authority figure. College it's different, as students are moving towards being more intellectual proteges of professors, but especially pre-college. The other reality is that one DOES need to be "defensive." While there are those people who will make an overblown issue out of anything, there ARE certain situations that just are stupid to put oneself in. I guess I'm not able to be super-detailed because I've already spent a lot of time trying to sort all this out in my own mind as a student and in an education program, and it's still very unclear what a definite answer is.
I think student-teacher relationships should be accepted. Its part of learning, is talking about real life situations and sharing experiences, not reading out of a text book. Im good friends with a couple of my teachers, and I hate everyone's negative view of it. Surely, i must be fucking them, right? Why do people take something as genuine as a friendship and turn it into something dirty? My teacher (im in high school just so you know) goes to the same shows as me, comes to my shows, i go to his, lotsa kids do it actually. My god hes a stoner - he even parties with us sometimes. Bt we have great, lengthy discussions about politics, music, philosophy, everything. He has influenced me and helped me figure out what the hell i want to do with my life. But you know us crazy hippies, we must just be fucking and smoking.
