Sorry if I come off sounding kind of like a herb but I need some advice for this situation that I'm in. I had been single for over a year because I wanted to wait for the right girl. I finally met her about two weeks ago and we're going out now. I've been realizing how much I like her more and more and I kind of don't know how to handle it. Whenever I'm with her or talking to her I feel like I'm in heaven; really happy. And then once she's gone I start getting down in the dumps and can't get her off my mind. All the relationships I've had have been short lived and I can honestly say that I've never felt this strongly about a girl before. The only relationship that even comes close was like 4 years ago and even then I didn't feel nearly as strong as I do now. So you can kind of see my dilemma. I mean I don't want to creep this girl out and scare her away (Her name's Kristi btw) so I guess I'm gonna have to keep my mouth shut about it? She's already told me that she broke up with one of her last boyfriends because he wanted to see her too often (every day.) So when we were talking about that she said a couple times a week is good. Now thinking about it, it kind of scares me. We haven't even been going out for that long and I can't imagine only seeing her like 3 times a week. I spent the last 2 days with her and today I'm gonna feel like shit not being able to see her. The MINUTE I woke up this morning i already missed her like crazy and wanted to give her a big hug. This has been going on for like the past week and it seems like its getting worse. Okay I've been kind of babbling now so is there anyone who can give me a little advice on how to handle this? What do I do?
look i have been in the same dilemma. but trust me give her some space and let her decideif she wants to see you more. don't be to pushy. i was in a relationship for 3 years and the guy i was with was to clingy and always want me to be up his ass or he wanted to be up mine. but now i am with topnotchstoner and we have been together for about 1 1/2 months, and it is going great and he is nothing like the last guy i was with thank goodness. plus my friend was the same way that girl of your is and she dumped my uncle because he always called her and she would tell him she was busy or something and then he would just show up in the next five mins. so just let her get her on space for now and see where it goes from there.
sadly my reply to you is not really one of advice, but one of letting you know that you are not alone because I am EXACTLY the same in a relationship. be careful though, because I was exactly like that in my first relationship with a guy and one of the reasons we broke up was that he thought i was too intense. Im happy for you that you have found someone who makes you feel so strongly good luck and blessings to you both. I hope it all works out. xxx
soon after i posted this we actually ended up spending alot of time together. we were with each other for like 6-10 hours a day for about a month and then her father said he didn't want us spending as much time together so we've had to see each other a lot less, which sucks. alot of days we only get to see each other for 1-2 hours and i've been really hung up over the past. i miss those days when we used to see each other for 10 hours. as far as my dilemma which is why i originally posted this, it's gotten alot worse. if i could, i'd spend every waking moment with her. i love her so much. whenever she's gone i feel sick to my stomach, constantly feeling nauseous. i never have an appetite. i dream about constantly and i can't sleep through the whole night. i always wake up with really bad stomach pains and diarrhea. last night was the second time i woke up talking to my hand because i thought i was on the phone with her. as far as getting her off my mind, forget about it. there's not a minute that goes by when i'm not thinking about her. i have trouble concentrating on things when she's not around. but as always, when she's with me i feel perfectly normal and very happy. sometimes i miss her even when she's right next to me because i'll be thinking about when she or i has to leave. the minute she tells me i have to go soon, i start feeling nauseous. i've completely fallen head over heels for this girl. it's unbelieveable. i could never have imagined that i could feel this strongly about someone. especially since it's only been about two months almost. alot of the time i really feel like i don't know how to handle its intensity. what really scares me is that i don't know how much stronger i could possibly feel. i love her more and more every day. what sucks is that even though she says she does, i don't honestly believe that she loves me as much as i love her. i wouldn't really expect her to i guess. but i'm hoping that in time she will.
I want to say this tentatively, and in the nicest possible way. But are you failing to differentiate between love and obsession? What you are experiencing doesn't sound healthy, and completely losing yourself inside another person isn't the groundwork of a healthy relationship dude. You don't need somebody's physical presence in order to love them, you don't even need to be in a relationship with them if the truth be told. Who are you putting first when you try to gain so much of her time? her or you? I say this in the spirit of friendliness, but I really don't think it would do you any harm to start learning how to spend time without her. Perhaps you are using her to "drown out" some other thing in your mind that you don't want to face. It may do you good to find out what that thing is, before you end up getting hurt. Take care,
