Anorexia and LSD

For the past few years I have been dealing with a pretty bad problem with anorexia. For starters, Id like to explain that having anorexia, does not mean you have to look like a skeleton. Looking back on myself, I was a really healthy looking kid. Maybe just a tad skinny.
However, a person with anorexia, when looking in the mirror does not see what is truly there. It was a hard concept for me to wrap my head around.That what I see in the mirror isnt neccisarily me?
There is so much detail that goes into the subconsious, it is hard to list everything. but my mind was in a lot of pain. I couldnt understand what was the problem with me, why do I have to think this way. i mean, i "knew" I wasnt fat, but at the same time, I didnt care what I "knew", because my brain just would not listen!'
That is... until I began researching LSD
LSD is one of the most mentally captivating substances on earth, to me anyways. i could read about it all day, and in fact, on several occasions I have! One of the most interesting things I discovered in my early research was the loss of the ability to lie to ones self. It was said that all becomes apparent or somethin, but thats irrelevent. I convinced myself that LSD would be a good psychonatic experience, and may help me understand my anorexia which would then lead to me being able to treat it. What I was not expecting was for it to do both
With LSD, I have discovered that I have almost 0% tolerance for change. It would upset me to find that I have changed in the mirror, and I would not be able to accept myself no matter what. It was this intolerance which I feel has left me with this eating disorder. On my first LSD trip, I was locked in a prison cell, more commonly known as a mirror. I did this on purpose, just staring at myself. Thinking. There is no fucking way this is real. REAL. real.. It all was so crazy. My face would morph from look to look. Each time kind of going out of focus then coming back clearer than ever looking completely different. i now understand that everhyones perception is 100% subjective. Not to say that I hadnt been told this in the past, because I have. MANY TIMES. I just never understood it as was possible on LSD.

After looking at myself and delving deeper into my mind, I was able to come out of the experience and have a completely different outlook on the debilitating disorder. Now when I look in the mirror, the imperfections dont hold a gun to my head. Although the thoughts are still there, its more like i subconsiously dismiss them as bullshit. occasionally the thoughts will reoccur, but so far, they seem to diminish pretty fast.

This is the first month in 3 years in which I have lived without having a mental relapse with my eating disorder! Hopefully I will continue to have the success I was able to have with the magical powerful but most-definitely not recreation drug LSD. I just thought maybe some of you would find my positive experience interesting

 

That's nice to hear! Stop the anorexia its bad for you!<br><br>Recreational use of LSD is fun, but I like to use it to learn more about myself and the world. From a psychological point of view I think its the best chemical ever created. I have not yet tried DMT though.

 

that's awesome. I've had a likewise experience with a terrible case of depression. My mother was in hospital tubed up and dosed up ( I'm a tad young to leave hoe atm) So I was at home crying my ass off every single day. It lead to a some what apathetic state that quickly spiraled to raging anger, then visa verca. I took a tab (mainly for abusive purposes at the time "wanna get fucked") When I was peaking I realised I was selfish. My mother was suffering and I was letting myself go. I saw birds, big horrible scary ones try at my face, try at my brain, but all of a sudden I could stop them. I came to a whole lot of realisations. 1 week later when I was visiting my mother there was good news, she was better.

 

this is very interisting. lots of people report positive changes they were able to make after taking LSD. I recall reading something about it being used to treat alzheimers, amnesia, autism, aspergers, and other brain disorders, even cluster headaches and migranes.

too bad it's "schedule 1" and the US government says it has "no medical use or purpose"

 

good news

http://memes.org/lsd-set-make-medical-comeback

 

your mind is even more powerful than acid.

Go girl!

 

wonderful news!
I found lsd allowed me to see myself .. as if i was someone else looking at me..

 

That is fucking terrific, hon. I also think that hallucinogens can be great for your mental health - they've helped me figure out tons of things about myself. It's a big gun so you gotta be careful with it, but it sounds like you were and it helped you out.

Not that you should thank the LSD, of course: thank yourself, 'cause you did it. LSD just facilitated a little.

 

I love it every person I meet that has had a positive life change from lucy stays inside of my heart

 

great to hear. lsd also saved me from an awful pattern that i was following in my life. for a long time i was overcome by subconscious anger, and it was really just ruining my life.

my original intentions were to wait until college to trip for the first time, but then after my mom disciplined me for failing a class i really didnt care anymore and i was ready to experiment with the drug. i had read alot about it online so i tried to shelve what was going on in my life at the time -- a pretty bad set of circumstances -- and give lsd a try. well it's safe to say that it didn't help me escape, but it did send me on a journey that i will never forget.

my first trip wasn't very intense. i took two hits of some very low potency acid, but it gave me a very good idea of what to expect. there was really no effect that this trip had on me, other than to just make me more curious about the substance. so about a month later i decided to try again, because i had felt like i had touched on something incredible and i just HAD to know.

took two hits of some very strong acid. tripped harder than i ever had in my life. this trip was the epitome of that turning point in my life. tried it again another month later and had a pretty bad trip.

during these three trips it was like i was on a journey completely tangent to my real life, i had pretty much forgotten about all my problems and begun living on the simple premise of just simply living, and being happy. it worked well, and it would have continued working well, except for one simply flaw: a dependancy on drugs.

after that all my acid connects went dry, and i was no longer able to obtain cid. i slowly dragged back into my real life, but with a renewed perception. what had i been doing? i became more aware of the atrocious circumstances under which i was living, and began standing up to that. it was a long and painful process that took months.

eventually, i emerged from the darkness. free of my negative connections with other people, and all of those unconscious things that were ruining my life. i was a new person, truly happy and truly free of most of my demons -- we all have some demons -- especially the ones that were ruining my life. a few months after i emerged from the darkness i tripped again, had a blast and my life and fight against myself was truly put into prospective.

well, that, was how i was introduced to acid it was a long, painful process. but i would not want it any other way.

even now when i think my life is absolutely great, i am constantly amazed by how my life is always improved after a good trip.

 

I find it ironic how everyone says you shouldn't take lucy if you have schizophrenia or anxiety. I have both and my mental health has only improved since taking her..whereas things I've been prescribed - anti-depressants, klonopin, and zyprexa - have worsened the things they were prescribed for (anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia)!

 

i dunno but eversince i did acid anorexia and bulimia have been hard to stomach...

 

Oh and for the record, im no girl. Im one of the few "manorexic"s as the media likes to call us. It makes the situation a little bit more uncomfortable as it kinda makes me look like a pussy at face value. Whatever, im no pussy so it dont matter lol

Gormur -- hopefully you read this, but I have pretty bad anxiety aswell, have you had any luck with benzodiazapines like xanax? I just stopped taking celexa as it made my head feel like a balloon filled with helium, and am looking for another viable and effective solution

 

No. I was taking xanax and valium for a few months. All they did was turn me into an addict of the worst kind. Whenever I didn't have them, I'd freak out and panic. I ended up doubling-tripling-etc doses and had to wean myself off of them slowly and painfully. Now I have more anxiety than I did before I took benzos. =/

Also, I don't like to admit it, but I have bulimia. I don't vomit or have body image issues tho. I just binge on food all day and take laxatives. Not really any better..but anyway, the zyprexa has made my bulimia worse, so I'm weaning myself off of that now. =/

 

laxitives is bulimia too? Yeh Ive never done that before.

Thanks for responding, my doctor has been seriously considering prescribing me on them. It'd probly be better to go down a non-drug route for anti-anxiety. err. Non benzodiazapine route. were you prescribed to take them daily, or was it self-administration whenever you were felt like a panic attack was comin on

 

Speaking as another person with the same problem, LSD kind of did the opposite for me, one it made realization of a problem when I started to think back on how I use to look and my habits over the years, but aside from that I don't if LSD helped per se, it made me comfortable with it, but in the "meh, so I have I have a problem, I want to be thin, and then more thin, that's not going to change and I accept that cause I'm pretty sure I don't have the willpower or strength of lack of sanity to go karen carpenter on myself"

Ironically though, acid in it's own way just kind of feeds anorexia at least for that day since it basically destroys your appetite.

Except for candy, oh my god candy on acid

 

I took 10mg valium and .5mg xanax each once daily (I was taking the valium more tho, because it wasn't a script..but eventually that lead me to taking more xanax, too). The doc discontinued my script because it was obvious i was abusing them..but in reality i was abusing them because they didn't work well and gave me more anxiety in the end. oh well.

 

for me, it's fruit. for some reason, i love eating fruit on acid..especially tropical shit like mango and pineapple.

 

Starfruit on acid................

drool coming out of my mouth

 

That is good to hear :cheers2: