Attracting the wrong women.....

This seems to be the story of my life. i've no problem atracting women but I allways seem to attract the wrong ones. I live a decent life. I work hard,treat, other kindly, I rarely drink but I do like the sacred herb. The problem I have is that I seem to allways atract women that have serious emotional/ psychological problems and/or serious substance abuse issues(usually alcohol.) My relationships seem to be one of two extremes.

1. They just want to be friends.

or

2. They are just out to use me for whatever(ie sex,drugs, booze, $ etc)

Its gotten to the point where I get suspicious of any woman that shows an interest in me.

Anyone else have this problem?

 

i cant seem to attract any women. i can have good conversations with them, be friends, but they are never in my field.

everyone always seems to be taken and the single ones i try to talk with are either fucking rude or just blow you off because they think you want to get in there pants. well i swear on my life not all men are like that. stereotypes are hurting me bad.

i seems every decent girl out there is with some stuckup asshole.

it amazes me how many times i see a beautiful girl, and her boyfriend/husband seems to show no respect. argue argue argue, almost like some power trippin cop.

dating is tough bro thats for sure.

 

That conforms with my experience- as well.

Women who demonstrate interest in me are either crazy, painfully unattractive, or needy --- for the most part.

Well-adjusted, attractive women expect me to compete for them or "seduce" them in some kind of way.

Not happening---.

 

well we compete for jobs , exams , even playing pool in a bar.
I cant see how there's anything wrong with competition.

AT98 - I'd say learn about women.Why do they just wanna be friends?

And just buying em things is a poor way of getting their attention.

Imagine u had long hair and tits.What would u go for?
Ok ridiculous , but u get the idea?

 

The diff is all applicants, exam-takers, and pool players compete on a level playing field.

Women expect me to compete for them, without competing for me. I know...Evolution.

Oh well---

 

yeah i have this problem sometimes too, it sux but if you get lucky its worth it

 

Cherea , I almost added that bit

Women *do* compete for guys.
Think how long they spend getting ready ,,exercising etc
ANd alot of em aren't even that bothered what a guy looks like.

I think everything has its "deal price".

THere's a lot of bullshit in big cities.You've only gotta look at that Sex in the City garbage.( I managed 90 seconds).

Think how long people spend on careers.Its about making *yourself* marketable to women IMO.

 

In my view, it's how to make myself increasingly needless of women.

If I have to work on making myself "marketable", "confident", or "seductive" to women I will end up hating them right after I ejaculate and I'm going to dick them over (if history is any indication).

I don't require women to compete for me at all. I either like a woman or I don't--- shoes, dress, money, or social skillz never swayed me one way or another.

 

Hmm , maybe I'm expressing it wrong?
London is similar to NYC.Maybe its the "NYC attitude" with some of em that u find such a pain.

Everyone makes emselves marketable.
You wash before u go out , wear decent clothes and dont consume 15 burgers a day.
And u have a "minimum criteria" that * they* have to compete to reach.

Is it like u feel "battle weary"?- dont like the idea the perfect one could leave?
We have to make judgements quickly.Thats why little things are given "symbolic" importance.And when diseased , that becomes the Big City pretentiousness that we hate.

 

I tend not to explain things environmentally.

It may well be that I'm just psychologically maladaptive and need loneliness. At least for the time being.

I don't mind that people work on their "presentation"- I do it myself. I'm not talking about presentation but gender roles.

It is true though, that I'm getting the fuck out of this town next year --- sure as fuck. I've had it!

 

yep definitely Woodie Allen

Gender roles.
Desirable women only have a "power" because guys compete for em.
*Their * power comes from guys!
But we can choose our identity in many ways to be marketable.

U might not wanna do it Hyphy's way , but he talks alot of sense.
Just you gotta run life management alongside it all.

As for NY , well the big city aint for everyone.All we can do is plan , try and ultimately , decide..?

 

women have this problem too....

I attract either marry/involved men, or cling on's that smother me....

there's no happy medium on this side either

I've given up, relationships are over rated anyways

 

In recent times I've gone for non-monogamous or open relats or just "seeing people".
I've had too many work commitments.

What makes me laugh is some dickheads who wistfully/critically go
"Ohh so you're still not married yet".

I feel like replying
"u mean like you?Your Mrs is boning her boss.And u get a screw once every 6 weeks..."

Some dickheads stigmatise girls particularly for not "settling down".
I think theres a time and a place for everything.

 

I've heard that too. Although, I have a hard time empathizing with most women since they hardly ever take the risk of initiation or unambiguous demonstration of interest.

It's sort of like, "I'm unhappy with what's fallen on my lap." Well, that's easy...

 

But whats the risk?Its just a laugh.A game in the initial stages.
I flirt with women I would *never* wanna bone
And women have work at the whole thing too.Its just things are different for em.Sorry I dont follow the negativity

Very interesting sig pic for this topic.Can I ask why u picked it/how u read it?

 

man, i always had to be the one to make the first move. i totally know how it feels.

at first, i swear, i couldn't get a good guy. so i changed my program and what i was looking for. it worked. i got dave.

 

Great sig, KC. :biggrin: My fave!

Anyway, as usual men and women are talking about different things. You are talking about getting teh best man out there! The men in this thread are talking about getting as much attractive pussy as possible.

Classical mismatch in cross-gender communication--.

Resso- I'm not even sure I wanted to analyze my sig in discursive terms, but it does have something to do with my relationship with women, to be sure. Scarlett Johansson's character in LIT is pretty much the stereotype of what I want in a woman - sweet, yet independent; friendly; attractive, yet down-to-earth; and intelligent. FTW.

I also identify with Bill Murray's deadpan as his emotional tactic in dealing with cultural alienation in Tokyo. Sometimes I feel the same in New York, never mind the fact that I've lived here half my life.

As for my negativity...legendary. I'm letting the bitter part of me speak. If only to exorcize it. There are other, sunnier parts to old Cherea. And those sunnier parts certainly view women as a levity, as a pleasant game- and takes winning and losing with a sense of humor. That sunnier part is also more willing to empathize with women, and find common ground--.

I guess the sig pic is the frozen moment when my bitterness (in Bill Murray) is being broken down by a woman's show of empathic interest (Scarlett Johansson). Notice how she's slightly turned to him...and how her facial expression matches his...Bill senses it from a corner of his eye...oh the little things that make me a happy man!

 

oh, well, ugly women frequently have that problem getting quality sausage. the same theory applies, change your taste.

 

I've never heard it put quite that way, lol! That's why god invented the date rape drug known as beer.

I used to have the same problem (attracting the right women, not getting quality sausage, lol), then I changed my criteria after a two year hiatus. Don't get me wrong, being a monk for two years wasn't easy, but it gave me the time to heal after a divorce from a psycho bitch, and a clearer perspective of who I was and what was best for me.

I came to the conclusion that I was better off jerking off than wasting my time on some wench who would mess with my mind. I mean after twelve hours of raucus sex, what else have you got? If you've got nothing in common you're compromising, and who wants that?

So hang in there, be patient, and let the big head do the thinkin'. The more aloof and independent you are, the more attractive you are. I could never hook up until I stopped giving a shit.

 

Negativity - yeah , I think I follow.But it puzzles me how much people commit to their career or hobby , but they never explore the whole relats/life management thing.You actually strike me as someone who can really click with em- *if/when * u want to.But yeah , I know.It *can* be draining sometimes..

Re the pic , I think SJ is yelling "fuck I wanna get the job done".( an understanding of perspectives and wants , not nec screwing)SHe's risking making herself look a tit , just by being at the bar , warpaint on , upfront etc.

He looks like he's in the electric chairScared !LOL.Probably 2nd /3rd divorce , not sure where he is.( edit ok I remember now , he had one long marriage , but he just looks stuck at a crossroads..)

But nature has given him another bite.She's interested in *him*She's gotta make it count there and then.He's wrapped up in ..well who knows what?
So , its not that bad being a guyIMO.