Spanking your kids

i lied constantly to my parents to avoid being grounded, too. lying to get out of getting in trouble is pretty much normal.

 

Sloth Outta Here!

 

love didn't save that little girl from getting run over by a float in a parade.

maybe it's like a more minor pain to replace the serious injury they were about to get through their cheer stubborn determination to do something you've repeatedly told them not to do or distracted them from doing in the first place. like a swat on the back of hte hand instead of a second or third degree burn because they simply refuse to accept your word that the stove is HOT.

 

I find it interesting that the increase in rude obnoxious behavior, a lack of common courtesy and common decency especially among children and young adults, coincides with the trend toward doing away with corporal punishment. I know it may be only coincidental but it’s interesting none the less.

 

I don't believe the increase of rude obnoxious behavior has anything to do with corporal punishment. I think that it has more to do with the lack of family structure. The divorce rate is ridiculous. Prior to the whole divorce trend, children had more manners. There are too many broken homes and parents doing drugs. Kids need positive structure.

 

1. Adjust Diet
2. Establish Leadership
3. Follow through with just punishments, be fair. Don't let up.
4. Lead by example

These are some basic things I would like to add. Of course, your own method should be intwertwined with these in some manner.
I am not one to say or determine whether physical discipline is right or in order, I guess I can say that is subjective to more than one thing. As the only experience with children I have is the absence of a father, a working mother and two brothers the ages of 15 and 9 (today!).

In my experience, I can say that my dad did discipline me physically. But he never did go overboard or use force in excess. I can say I got everything I deserved, and my dad showed me why I recieved consequences. At one point or another, he would explain how I had messed up and taken my punishment in a manner I could understand....

IDK.... discipline is subjective I suppose... like I said, IDK.

 

My daughter will be 13 years old in a couple of months and I have never spanked her. She is growing up to be a respectful, considerate, generous, peaceful person. She trusts me and knows that she is safe with me. She knows that she can tell me anything, even if it might upset me. She respects me and her dad and we defintely did not earn that respect by spanking her. We have always treated her as an individual, and talked with her on a level that she could understand.
I was spanked by my dad when I was a bad kid. Now, as an adult, I do not trust my dad, I still fear him, and I do not respect him. Fear does not equal respect.
Because I feared my dad, (instead of trusting him & feeling safe) I learned to lie and hide whatever might displease him. This habit has continued through out my life, and I find myself hiding details of my life from my dad, to avoid his anger. We will probably never have a close relationship, and I blame it on the physical abuse that he inflicted upon me as a child.
As parents, it is our responsibilty to protect our children, to make them feel safe in this crazy world, to teach them about love, respect and honour. You cannot do those things if your child is afraid of you and does not trust you.

The lack of spanking is not the cause of society's problems with our youth; lack of supervision, rules, structure & routine is the problem.

 

In our house, the punishment fits the crime.
She doesn't do her chores=she gets no allownance that week and she gets extra chores added onto her list
She comes home late=earlier curfew for a week

I can't think of anything that she could do where the appropriate consequence would be physical abuse. How can a child learn about consequences when the consequence does not fit the situation? As an adult, if you screw up at work, you don't get a spanking, you get fired. That is a real life consequence to your actions. Every action causes a re-action and you can't teach that through spanking.

 

Very interesting, you must believe in capital punishment as well.

 

I couldn't imagine hitting my baby (he's only 3mos) but still.no way!I was spanked as a kid and it frightened the life outta me.once so much when my dad threw me over his lap preparing to whack me I was so frightened I peed!thats not right

 

i always thought fear was a big part of it.

 

No, I do not believe in capital punishment. Life in prison is appropriate punishment, I do not condone violence of any kind.

 

But you say punishment should fit the crime? Then how is life in prison an appropriate punishment for anything? Talk about cruel and unusual punishment. And you say you don’t condone violence of any kind.

 

Capital punishment is like spanking your child for hitting someone. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Freedom comes with responsibility. If you can't be responsible, you lose freedoms; its a simple concept that my daughter has understood since she was a small child.
Life in prison is very appropriate for violent criminals...what would you suggest instead?

 

Have you served any time in prison or known anyone who has?

 

I have not, but I know people who have. I don't totally agree with the system, but please note that I live in Canada, so our standards might be different from yours.
You didn't answer my question: what would you suggest in place of prison as punishment for violent crimes?

 

I would say capital punishment is more humane than life imprisonment.

 

I have been spanked a lot when I was a small. Now I have 5 kids, and havent ever hitted any off them. Happily I have lovely hubby, who have always kept me in sence. Maybe I would be harder to my kids; to taking sample from my own gracy dad, but happily my man have told that loving is the way. And it also is. If ourkids get really nasty, packet is the way then. It means holding them in a small packet whit my arms so tight that they cannot kick or fight. And that really works. Dont have to do many times, and then after half on hour or something we have tired but tranguil kid. :boxing_smiley:

 

I use corporal punishment as a means of punishing my stepsons but it’s not sexual abuse.

 

I got in a few scraps and fights and hit other girls when I was little and always ended up getting a firm spanking for doing it. the end result was the more i got spanked the less likely i was to do that cause it hurt and i didnt want a repeat of the punishment in the future

people use corporal punishment cause it is effective. its not about a 2nd wrong making a right its about an unpleasant experience being the result of innapropriate behavior and i had less bad behavior anytime i got punished

if more parents were less afraid of giving punishments children today wouldnt grow up being so wild and uncontrollable