Advice for Stupid People

Charles Manson is not the messiah

 

don't show your boobs to a cop to get out of a ticket

 

Dont ask countrygirl for directions to anywhere.

 

never drive behind a cattle truck in the summer heat

 

never flip off an indian in oklahoma

 

dont put vegetable oil in your car engine

 

beware of the garden gnomes!

 

wear dark clothes so nobody can tell how filthy you are

 

don't wear spandex if you short and fat

 

Dont wear spandex at all

 

don't drink beer during church

 

Dont rear end a parked cruiser

 

Dont follow closely behind a truck full of chicken cages.

 

Dont feed wild bears by hand

 

Dont leave a watch on the nightstand of a NYC hotel room and expect it to be there when you return from visiting the Statue of Liberty.

 

Dont let vagrants babysit your children

 

Don't carry condoms in your wallet

 

dont lend money to friends

 

dont drink and plow.

 

Don't argue with someone who has a gun pointed at you.