Hiya! How to represent ...

Hi! I don't really think of myself as bi, I just don't really choose who I fall in love with, and there have been a few girls and a couple of boys. Except for something a long time ago which honestly I don't remember very well, I haven't done much with any guy, but I moved back home from college and my feelings for my best friend are no longer platonic. I don't know whether it's love or I'm crazy though, cause I'm bipolar and the last time I did something irrational and stupid and manic I moved away from a girl I loved very much, but she was a lesbian, so we were just good friends ... who might have had a chance encounter or two. I'm right now trying to figure out a way to move again, and I think I have a friend in San Fran who will help see me in to another new community, but I don't want to leave without at least talking to him about it. I think he's a good enough friend that he won't cold shoulder me, but
[and heres where someone skimming can jump to]
how do I tell him I want him without ruining his perception of gay people forever?

Eeep!

 

I would not worry too much about his perception of the gay people. You always speak for yourself, are responsible for your own actions and that's where the buck stops.

You know your friend. None of us here do. So, think of the best way to break it to him. There is no universal receipe here. Every dude is a world of his own and knowing him ought to help you out here.

IMHE, talking too much the BIG GAY Thing tends to ruin most of the budding friendships and relationships. Your friend may as well be in love with you. He may be willing to experiment and see where this takes him, too. Or he may not be interested in any of the M2M stuff.

So, thread very carefully and try to attach minimal meaning to your actions. Do not put any unnecessary burden of responsibility on his shoulders, unless he is asking for it.

If you want to go and spend some time in San Francisco, do so. (This is the best thing I have done for myself in my life.) But do not make it depend on him or his decisions. Show him that you are running your show and that he is welcome to join in and have his share of fun, too.

KD

 

thanks a bundle, my stress level was at like level 9, back down to 5 or so

 

Hell I have a mad crush for my best friend, he know it and doesn't seem to care.

 

I'd tell him you're gay,but hold off on the wanting him part for a bit.