Is there a reason to be jealous and worry?

Me and my bf have been going out now for 3 years. I know he cares about me. Every time though we go out somewhere and we are together and he see's a really hot girl he walks his distance past them or will just become very silent, not like usual when we go out. It makes me feel really small and like i am ugly , like not enough for him. But am i just worrying over nothing? like since he is a guy, does he just like the attention of another girl looking at him or something??i just don't understand how he acts when he has a me. I just get worried maybe he is bored with me or something. Do you think the problem is my fault?? Please help me to understand.


Note: when its just me and him or after we just left a place he is all back to talking to be like how he usually is again.

 

boys will be boys (and girls will be girls)....

it's natural to look and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us, which includes that of other people....
I think you're letting your insecurities get the best of you but if it really bothers you that much maybe you should talk to him about it.

like my grandma always says.....

it doesn't matter where he gets his appetite as long as he comes home for supper

 

i think your innocent till proven guilty.

i've had an on and off realtionship for the last five years of my life in which i recived some of the most beautiful (and devasting) moments of my life and i believe the reason our realtionship is so damaged is becuz she does not trust me. as a guy i do notice girls and i'm sure he does to but as long as he isnt eye fucking them or staring at their cleavage i think its alright, i mean i look at everyone just to know whos around somtimes , maybe hes doing the same. the acting diffrent thing however could be something, unless hes just trying to be "cool" but if hes talking down to u and walking away and talking to these girls then yea i think you have a reason

 

This is the guy you wanted to propose to you...

 

yea because i really love him and i know i want to be with him for the rest of my lie but that's why i was worrying and i am trying to fix these issues with me so i a not being how i was with him and trying to control on how i feel sometimes. and honestly from talking it out its helping a lot. I have been in long relationships before but none as serious and as strong as this and if i am doing something wrong like being overly jealous i want to know and i want to fix it. you know

 

You mentioned that maybe you aren't enough for him. If you want to fix the issues, you must start at the source; you. Why do you lack self esteem? What do you think you need to do to have your self esteem back? If he wanted to be with someone else he knows where the door is and how to use it, but he hasn't. So, why worry yourself so much?

One thing that will destroy a relationship is constantly questioning it. He looks at other girls...that makes him a man! Be proud that other women are looking at your man, because when guys check you out it makes your man feel good.Try to stop making it personal, because it isn't. There is nothing wrong with checking out the human body, because when it looks good you should take the time to admire it.

Your insecurities only hurt you, and as you get older you will come to realize how pointless they really are. Having kids is a wake-up call in the body department, trust me. If you have a poor self image now, imagine how you will feel after kids. So, try to love yourself, just the way you are. If you want to trim your body up, go for walks or whatever, and take him with you if you can (it can be a great bonding experience). Regardless of what you do, learn to love and appreciate your body, and be as sexy as you can be.

Let me be blunt, there are no guarantees in any relationship. One day you may wake up and realize he isn't the One, and he may do the same. You just never know what will happen, no one does. The fastest way to get to that point is to keep putting your relationship under a microscope. He is a man, and he thinks differently than you do (more linear) so when he sees a hot chick it plays out like this "wow, she's hot...what were you saying honey" and not much more. What a woman interprets it as is "he is staring at her! Look at him! Doesnt he think I am sexy enough for him? I am SO fat" and so on. Women put a lot more weight on these types of things than a man. Don't expect him to understand your insecurities because he doesn't have the same ones.

Stop worrying so much about spending the rest of your lives together, and work on building a solid foundation to your relationship. Loving him oodles won't get you through the tough times, but understanding and respecting one another will.

 

thank you so much "his eden" i really understand things now and thats all i needed to hear was from a guys point of you. its hard being in a relationship but def gives me suprises every single day lol but thank you so much again!

 

*whispers* I am a chick...the name refers to me being my husbands Eden

But you're welcome...it took me many years to learn some of those things.

 

lol sry sry lol....! well all i know is its really hard being in a relationship and theirs a lot someone has got to know bout each other and even after that theirs still stuff i am still learning but you really helped me to really see Wat i should do because i am just being stupid...so what he looks but he does come home to me at night....he is going back to shool this in jan and i just have to deal with how i am and listen to what you were telling me because without trust theirs nothing but thanks again

 

There's a big difference between him just noticing other women and flirting with them. From your post, I'm a little confused about which this is. But what matters is which it is to you.

Men are always going to notice women. But if he flirts with them, especially if he does it while you're right there, then he's really disrespecting you. You should have a serious talk with him about it. Don't just let it pass and hope that it will go away. If it bothers you, then he needs to address it.