its hard to get a bf when you live with your ex

ok so im kind of in need of advice, i never posted here before... i guess this is like not very serious, i guess its minor, but there this guy i like, and we had one date, we went to play pool (and he kicked my ass )) then he came over to my appartment for a coffee (nothin happened, not even a kiss) and it would be all cool if i didnt live with my ex husband and his two friends.... well, i pay the rent, but my ex husband is currently looking for work and im helping him out until he gets settled... and his two buddies... well... i guess they just kinda need a place to stay (?!) for a lil while so they pay us each 150 for a half - room and that affords our cigarettes.... we ll weird i know. but the main problem is, that me and my ex still have relations, and im not sure, from previous experience, if that would cease, and still considering living together... so i think i should forget moving on and forget this guy and just try to get by on my own.... but still, any feedback welcome

 

First things first... you have to decide what is going on btw you and your ex. before you start dating again. Also I think it is obvious that living with your ex is going to bring up problems like this. It great that you both are still friends and able to live together. I would consider moving out, because this situation will most likely come up again. Though on the other hand if your future boyfriends really like you they should be able to respect the fact that you live with your ex.

 

yeah i agree with everything except the last part. No guy will want to respect that I live with another guy, plus two others... except a lot more easy going guys which i would not consider relationship-capable. but oh well. thank you, i have to figure out where i stand. the main thing is, that, like i said, im just helping him out for a while (please god dont be too long) but we will never be a couple again, things were pretty rough back in the day.....

 

I liked a woman who lived with her ex once, it was kind of intimidating, and raised to many questions and discormfort to be honest.. can't imagine how it would be if we dated!
It sounds like you still have feelings for him because you're still wiping his ass and changing his diapers(roof over his head, etc)

 

You're right, I guess it would be a miracle to find a guy who would be ok will your situation, AND who would be ready for a serious relationship. It is very kind though what you are doing for him.

 

Doesn't really sound like the ex is an ex. You mention you still have "relations" with him, and if by that you mean sex then your ex is not an ex. I lived with my ex, and made damn sure that my life was not incorporated with his other than for our son. We were roomates who had been married, and nothing more. Some people understood it, but most didn't.

The only solution is for one of you to move out. Until then you are still playing at being in a relationship while wanting your freedom. It's great that you are helping him out, but it also reeks of being used. Its kind of like "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" in a way. He has a roof over his head, and all the comforts and security of a relationship (as do you) without having the commitment of being married. If that works for both of you, great. If not, then one of you needs to end your relationship and move to the position of an ex.

 

i think that the main problem i have is that back in the day, my ex helped me out a great deal, even more than my parents, so for now telling him to move out is out of the question.... i need to wait until he finds a job or sumthin.... but sometimes i just want to be with someone esle, and that is the hard part to dal with... but i know it cant happen unless we break it off, so its kind of complicated ...