I've been dating this guy for 7 months now, Well in the beginning I cheated on him. Yes its horrible I know, I feel like a disgusting person because of it, I don't know why I did it, but it happened. I started to have really strong feelings for him. And I wanted him to know the truth and I told him, which happened about a month ago. He said he wants to make it work. And it seems that every few days he'll get extremely upset about it, and I don't know how to make him feel better. Any advice?
in my opinion, you should not have even said anything. yeah it would have hurt to keep it inside, but now you're gonna hurt even more because the person you love is angry with you.
Its just going to take time... or if it really keeps coming up like that, it might be that you damaged the relationship beyond repair.
Looking back, I probably should have kept it inside. But I do think it'll work, I mean I just spent 4 solid days with him, and it only came up once.
Well then you wouldn't have a relationship, you would have a lie. I mean sure, if tricking someone into being with you under the false pretext that you're reliable and honest is people's thing, then go for it, and don't cry if/when you get caught out... But really. I'm amazed anyone would suggest keeping it secret. If you place any value on the other person at all, you need to tell them. You did the right thing. At least now you have a relationship to repair, rather than a lie to cover up
Right or wrong,somethings are better off taking it to your grave. Good luck.I wish you the best...And remember everyone makes mistakes.
Look at it this way ... you learned a lesson at 18 that some don't learn till they're 45 and going through the mid-life crazies. Or never learn at all. Your relationship with this guy may get through this or it may not, but there's no point in continuing to beat yourself up over it. You owned up to your mistake, and you learned from it. And that's worth a hell of a lot.
i think that you made the right choice by telling him, if i was him i would want to know. honesty and communication are key. i dont know how you will both get past it. but its better then keeping it in. i hope it works out. blessings xxx
You did the right thing, even if it was hard and even if it endangers your relationship. If you were my S/O and you had told me about having cheated, then I might or might not want to or be able to forgive and forget. Totally situaltional. If you did not tell me, and I found out later, then it’s a deal breaker because I would never be able to trust you again. A relationship without 100% trust and 100% honesty has a very low chance of being successful.
Old T. I'm surprised at you. I meet people every day, some I come back to others I say, "coffee?" but I don't expect them to belong to me. The only claim this lad has on this lass will be when she means enough to him that he begins to mention a long term relationship and backs it up with a diamond. 'Til then both are free and if one finds an extra adventure for a bit the other has no reason to be upset. I do think it was goofy for her to brag about it under the guise of 'fessin up! Hip=free! (until freedom legally given up)) Or have I lost my hipsense?
I never feel that I have the freedom to harm those who have placed their trust in me. No, strike that .... I do have the freedom .... I just do not choose to exercise that freedom.
It was absolutely the right idea to be honest about it. Without trust, a relationship doesn't stand a chance.
well if he really loves you its gonna take time.look at the bright side at least you said something rather than you holding it in.
Good relationships take time to grow, weather or not it was a good or bad idea to tell him dosent matter any more. all good relationships go through hard times, each person helps the other to grow, and stands beside them when they need help. you made a mistake, so learn from it. it sounds to me you might not be sure what you want.
i think that you did the right thing... he has the right to know. i personaly could never cheat on my boyfriend and i dont c how people can if they are in love. but there is no way that i could live with myself if i did not tell him and i could not offer all of myself emotionaly because i am hiding something. i hope everything works out and he will come around and see that if you didnt care then you would not of told him... good luck!
i went through almost exactly the same thing. so, i know how it feels to be on recieving end. i`ve know her a year & 2 months. after living with her between dec & may, she got talked into moving just 20 ft away, so i had to see them all the time. i got disgusted & moved away(& this was kinda my own place). she left him & came back 2 him a couple times during the summer. then i just happened to see her alone she broke-up w/ him 4 last time. we got back together for a month then broke-up again, as i`d suspected she cheated again(different guy). it`s been 2 months, she emails me all the time. & she seems like she wants to reunite, but it`s undefined @moment.
carrying around the guilt, shame and sorrow that you've broken your SO's trust is going to come out one way or another. when it does it will almost surely do some damage to both people so it is going to hurt him in the end. if he found out from someone other than you that would have done a lot more damage. honesty is always better and it'll take time to earn back his trust. so just be patient with him and his anger will eventually subside. all you can really do right now is let him know how much you care about him and how important this relationship is to you. namaste.
