Coming out to my parents

Hi, I really need to come out to my family, my mum already knows about it but my dad has no clue. I am not really effeminate and my family is a bit strict. Although my mum is not happy for me to be gay she accepted me but banned me from telling my dad since she thinks he will throw me out of the house. Can someone tell me any easy way to break it to him??
Thank you

 

21, gay, living with your mum and dad?

Man, get out of there, party and carry on for a couple years, move back in save for a house for like 5 years, then party and carry on in new house

 

There's not any simple solution to coming out to people. When it comes down to it, youre gonna have to just directly tell him, but how you approach doing it is where the difference lies. I think you know your father the best and would have the clearest idea of how to best approach him on something he may be initially uncomfortable with...when you do, let him know that you are indeed the same person you were before telling him and let him know that you don't expect him to immediately understand, but that you hope that in time he'll come to understand. Also let him know that your reason for telling him is because you want him to be a part of your life and know about your life and what you do- and that includes who your lovers are, etc. Once again though, if you expect he won't react nicely, just keep that in mind before you go into it and try as hard you can not to let his words/actions hit you too deep- his reaction to your coming out has nothing to do with anything you've done wrong, its simply his own insecurities- but I understand that you obviously care about what your dad thinks and want him to accept you, which I think he certainly will with some time to understand...

Good luck man, I'm glad that you are trying to come out to him even thouhg youre not sure of what his reaction will be- it shows that you wont let anyone make you feel as if youre a step below them, you have the courage to speak your mind and communicate without a paralyzing fear of conflict.
Much Love,
Dylan

 

Before you make that final step, give it a thought or two, first.

Ask yourself, what may be the worst-case scenario? If you are capable of dealing with it and still want to come out, do so. There is no one to stop you.

If your Dad still controls your life, pays for your expenses, etc., gain some degree of idepenedance before you make that final step.

It is not really difficult to come out at all. It may be very difficult to face the consequences thereof.

KD

 

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Hi everyone, I would like to thank all of you for the advice, they really helped, although I didn't tell my father yet, i might soon in the near future.

xx
Etienne

 

Two options.
Lie and hope that he's ignorant enough to go into denial about it.
Tell him, if he reacts in such a harsh way then f-ck him.
At the age of 21 you really don't need to care what your parents think of you, because you don't need them.

 

Uh, who says you don't need your parents at 21??? MANY people do. How do you think he'd study if he wanted to without parents? Sure he could get a job, save up and maybe in a couple of years he'd be able to afford it, but parents offer security - financial security often, which a lot of young people do rely on.

 

Loans.
Same as everyone else.

 

Try to become more independent and find a way to make your father really proud of you. After that what ever the reaction is, it will be easier for you.