so he tells me love and sex are the same..

just for the record, i know this should be in 'love and sex'. however, i believe alot of women have expirienced my same issue (and i feel more comfortable discussing it here)

so theres this guy that ive known my whole life. recently hes taken a great deal of intrest in me. we've made out, nothing too serious. about a week ago he said he loves me and wants to have sex with me. i tried explaining to him that he does not love me, he just wants to have sex. he replied, "love and sex are the same thing." i had always thought they were different, but for some reason, i am confused now and need help.

1. are they the same? please tell me how they're different.

2. should i have sex with him? i trust him with my life, but im not sure if im ready.

3.personally, when do you think it's the 'right time' to have sex for the first time?

thanks for any answers.

 

If you are confused, it isn't the right time.

 

1. not the same at all. if a guy loves you he should not care whether or not you have sex.

2. if youre not sure, then youre not, and you shouldnt.

3. i think that as soon as you are 100% comfortable with someone, and you feel that you're ready, and he's not presssuring you, then it could be time.

personally, im waiting till im married, but for a lot of people, thats not the case

 

thanks guys...wow this is going to be hard resisting him seeing as ive known him my whole life and his incredibly attractive...

 

It sounds like you and your guy are both confused, Love and Sex are not the same, not even close. That would mean you loved every person that you took home for a one night stand which isn't the case.

 

First of all, if you have to ask someone else if you're ready, you're obviously not ready yet. On the other hand, I think (just my opinion) you worry about it a little bit too much. If you love him and trust him, sleep with him. If you have any doubts, don't do it. It's quite simple. But life's not that simple, so even if you make some decision, it might end up in a different way. I don't know how old you are, I know age doesn't count that much, but it would different if you were 14 or 20. Just listen to Your heart, intuition, inner voice, whatever, but don't do anything just because he wants you to. I did and it didn't end nicely.

The other question.. Is love and sex the same? No. Sex is for satisfying of your physical needs (if that's the right word to use), but making love is ... I don't know... for feeling the nearness of the one you love. Imho.

Sorry about my grammar.

 

give it a shot, don't take it so seriously, you probably wont regret it as long as he wraps his cock.

i was a fiend for the sex until i actually had sex, then i was like "whats all the fuss about, im gonna go practice guitar."(this is not normal for teenage males, i'm not normal)

 

oh my gosh i laughed so hard when i read this!

 

I think the line gets blurred sometimes because often, when two people are in love, they are fucking as much as possible and can not keep their hands off of each other. However, the flip side is that a man that is in love with you, will be able to display near limitless patience for you and make it seem effortless. He will put your mental and emotional comfort level before his sexual urges and won't stress or pressure you.

This should put you in a very easy position. Leaving you to decide if YOU want to fuck or not. If the answer is yes, then have at it, sex is as natural as it gets. If people stopped fucking a thousand years ago none of us would be here, it kind of makes the world go round.
If the answer is no, then you should expect that loverboy will be understanding, if not then make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, smack him on the ass and send him home.

 

Men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love.

Once you sleep with your friend, they are no longer a friend but a lover and as soon as it is over, you lose both your friend and your lover. You can never go back to being just friends again, you have crossed the line and can not take it back. Choose wisely bc once you give it up, it's gone and you have given something special away.

sh

 

so true

 

1. are they the same? please tell me how they're different.

no, they are not the same. sex is naked thrusting. sometimes kinky, sometimes slow and intimate. love is a bouquet for no reason, buying your favorite fancy food and bringing it home. buying a goofy man thong (my mom showed me my dad's Rudolf thong, and i had a teacher who confided that her hubby surprised her with an elephant thong, lol) love is a smack on the butt when you're cooking dinner, or a race to see who gets the last pepsi. or a surprise trip to a special movie. love is a goofy happy, joyful feeling. there are many kinds of love, between friends, lovers, parents and children, but love is a happy feeling throughout. there are pangs of pain sometimes, but they are overcome by the love.

2. should i have sex with him? i trust him with my life, but im not sure if im ready.

then you are not ready. see that? its a period. You Are Not Ready.

3.personally, when do you think it's the 'right time' to have sex for the first time?

personally, when i was 14 i promised my mom i wouldn't have sex until i was 16. for my 16th birthday she put me on birth control and bought me the Joy of Sex (the pictures are very 70's, but its a quality book. i first read it when i was 5 or 6, it was on the coffee table.) I had been with my boyfriend for sheesh, well it had been about 6 months to a year by then. i was 16 and a half. i was ready, i knew it, and i was waiting for it. i have never regretted losing my virginity to him, i loved him. thats important. you should try to make sure its not with someone you'll regret having sex with later. the first time happens only once, and it should be special.

he obviously wants to rack up another notch on the bedpost, and thats not cool. he doesn't sound very bright either. anyone who truly thinks sex is love is either a moron or hopelessly naive.

good luck sweetie, pm me if you need to talk.