ok swim just sent this to me and asked me to post it, have a read... gave me this account of his first acid trip at college "a few weeks ago i took acid given to me by my roommate, out of interest i asked him to give me some acid... i asked for 4 tabs and ate them in one go. it started fine, as coming up and having conversations with other people. then i felt the need to go isolate myself, cause all of a sudden im really not liking being around other people... so i go and lock myself in my room... and i start auditorily hallucinating heavily... things seem to speed up or slow down in time... i put on the grateful dead and they sounded completely utterly different... i can not begin to describe how... it sounded completely different... like i was hearing it from a completely different perspective... everything from the meter to the rhythm was changed... normal earthy sounding songs trippy as fuck... spacey sounding songs like "the other one" were eyefuckingly powerful... wretchedly i felt like i was being peered on as if unto the back of the throat and into the brain... and my roommate tells me that is the pineal gland, what descartes thought to be "the seat of the soul" well in any case i started to feel really cold so i got into bed... i started to freak out... my roommate came back... saw i was seriously freaking out... he basically lay himself down with me and held me down cos i was freaking out and got me to chill the fuck out and his gf chilled me out and the lights were off and he was there so i relaxed and breathed and i blacked out... many visions came to me... it felt like an eternity... as i began to come to it felt as though i was coming to the end of a massive journey and i felt a sensation throughout my whole body... including some connection with god i was an atheist, and am now agnostic... i dont know whether i felt that because there really is a god, evolution maybe made us religious and i am experiencing that functions range of emotions, feelings... i got out and talked with the others briefly... then i slept the rest of the night"
when your mental operating system is formatted for a few hours, its tempting to interpret what you are experiencing as god, if you have a preconceived notion that there can be a "normal world" and there can be a "god" and that those are two discrete things . . . in my opinion this is a mistake of dualism, and it makes much more sense and ends up being easier afterwards in terms of real-life applicability, to understand that what you experienced on acid was simply the most banal and pervasive nature of the universe, which unfortunately had been blocked from you prior to ingesting lsd.
but i hated the reality i was being presented with... so this whole idea really now terrifies me... how do i get past this? what went wrong?
If you're still alive and not incarcerated (lol), nothing went wrong. Everything went wrong. Who knows. For some reason you had a bad time on LSD; it happens. It happens often. The best thing to do is take a break until you feel comfortable doing it again, and dive right back in to confront the problem. If you don't confront the problem it won't go away, like anything else. Why do you hate the real world, neo?
Nothing went wrong. Glad SWIM actually heard the Dead for the first time. SWIM might wanna go back in time and take a 1/2 hit or 1 hit max, for the first time. Hindsight is 20/20 huh?
