Machine Fetishes?

A latent appliance fetishist is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself that sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.

So, is there any of these present in attendance?

If there is, I am robotic from the waist down.

Chicks only.

 

I'd fuck her, but she's too young.

 

Ewwww.

 

..
does your pee-pee not work on its own.
.. I am more worried for your broken peter ,and possible decreases sexual ability than aroused

 

I'm into toasters, though it's not a "machine" per say... I have 20 different toasters, all with a different name, all that I spoon and hump during different days of the week, depending on what mood I am in...

Though, I've been eying blenders as of late and getting goose bumps, so I might have to cheat on my toaster to get a piece of blender...

 

What I have is a flesh-based actuator that moves at 320,000 thrusts per second. I am equipped with the normal man juices and I've never had a woman walk away with a complaint, or at all for that matter.

The only reason I ever get any women at all is because of who I am, a rapist.

The above statement is not true or even mine, it's a line from Rodney Dangerfield, the one-line king.

 

Toasters totally count, welcome to the club. We meet on Tuesdays in the abandoned factory over by the lube plant. See you there.

 

I don't like anything with feathers.

And I mentioned a few times that I'm scared of birds. Terrified even.

 

I see. Well, luckily I don't have any pet birds.

You don't own a snake, do you?

 

No. Just a few cats and a spider.

 

Perfect, I love cats and spiders.

A big spider? Like a tarantula or some shit?

 

I have a chrome-plated bellybutton of destiny.

Wanna take a peek? Too bad.

 

Yes.

 

For real? Where'd you get one?

 

For real. Where ? Umm....at that place where they sell pets.

 

I thought you needed a special permit for exotic animals like that. I've never seen spiders at a normal pet store..

 

Nah...Its just a small spider

 

You said tarantula.