Hi, I'm very new and say hello to all.

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My name is Marilyn. I am from nyc, where, right now, it is very cold. I am up late and was doing a search of certain questions bout sex and this site popped up. I was so glad; it seemed like somewhere I would want to be.

I don't take drugs, smoke or drink, but that does not mean that I am not fun. Most people think I am fun. I love to laugh. It makes me happy. I also read quite a bit, am an avid lifelong journalist, have been an RN, a law student (please do not ask), and now I do consulting work in both the area of medicine and law.

I was married, am now divorced for almost eight years. Have had my trials just as I'm sure all of you have had. I'd like to think that I learn from mistakes. I know that I have developed some wisdom, but there is never time to garner "enough." So that means we go through life with our eyes shut when they should be open sometimes. I don't like that. But, I keep trying. I have loyal and good friends. What I do not have is a relationship with a man that makes both of us feel very good.

I had met this man right after my separation. I fell so in love with him. I thought he was made for me. But, turns out he did not feel the same way towards me, but he wanted me as a friend, so he treated me like a girlfriend. But, in fact, we never had a relationship. It was tough. I was so hurt. He did strange things, like if he went out of town on a business trip, he would always bring me home a lovely present. At first I thought he missed me. Then I found, through a special search, that when he was away, he had sex with all sorts of strangers. Some say they were guilt gifts, but I did not ever mention what I knew to him. Then I realized, he was the same person as my ex-husband. I had to go to therapy. Was choosing the wrong men.

Now I understand, but that has not permitted me to meet the right men. In all fairness, I have been hiding from men. I get so hurt when things do not go the way I wish them to. But, of course, what am I making all these fantasies about? Why not just let it go? I want, so badly, to connect with a man. I never have. I am willing. I have learned very much. But now, I understand, most people "hook up." That is exactly what I do not want. I want a best friend, who will accept me and I accept him, and we protect each other from the world. I should not go on like this, But it givess you some idea of why I joined this forum, and how I feel about this part of my life.

My life is full in other areas. But, never having had children, and my ex being an absentee husband, I have almost no family. And, now I want family. But, I never made one. Am glad. I was not ready. Maybe, I think, I shall adopt a child. I am ready now. But I have not gotten over the loss of my last love.

I will. It takes titme. Meanwhile, I'll hang out with you and we'll talk about relationship issues. That is important to me. Thanks for letting me say so much. Talk soon.

 

hello and welcome tot he forums!

 

You can always talk to me.

 

Hi Marilyn,

Welcome to HF. If you stick around and post enough, you're sure to meet some nice people. Even if you don't, this place will keep your mind occupied. Hope to see you around.

 

hey marilyn!!!!!

good to meet you sis!!!! hope to enjoy the simple things in life... if we have food, clothes and a shelter we have enjoy Jesus teaches us! He is right!!!

may peace, joy and love be overflowing in your life!!!
hug, patrick