i got a dilema, i need everyone's advice

I

That tattoo’s telling me I can do all things
Through Christ who strengthens me

Trust me I’m going to try

I don’t want to hustle with anymore of this mack talk
But it seems you beg to differ

Is there ever a plainer sign for my instincts
To be given the go to take control of my thoughts

This isn’t no Bukowski statement
I still think he’s an asshole
The point is everyone’s heard it before

It’s in the tunes and on the TV
I read it in my books and the way everyone speaks
I repeat as you repeat

Cause I kiss a pretty girl goodnight
And her sleep becomes my social disturbance
My lack of patience
And I leave upstairs with her friend
It’s only a simple pattern
I just don’t smile with the morning anymore




II

I wake to scenic window
With a view towards regret
When did this start happening


She tells me not to think of her as a whore
I tell her I understand

I should be saying the same thing

But do you know why I never have to

As a gender, five thousand years of bondage
And then freedom, do what you want
Anything that happens is man’s fault

I’m understanding
This freedom, this death of an outdated system,
This death of the American family

But a habitually conformed generation
Unaware that change brings confusion
Has changed

A tiny part of this, is all that I got going for me



III

I realized

That I find my clothes matching colors
With other’s in odd places
The justification is that there isn’t one

A sudden notion that none of this was my decision
Call me crazy
But why are you really wearing those shoes

To convince myself
That I’m more than a matter of species

Is the task of betting right before the river card

For all these scenes of insinuated statements
A mass personalized fear of honesty and trust
Prove me otherwise

I’m at a lack in this quest for individuality
With these foggy roads, and dimmed lights
As my nurturing guide

I realized

If this vindication is all a matter of truth
The father figure isn’t telling anyone what to do
We got social genetics
And whatever we put in our heads

Children being raised on their whit’s



IV

The problems aren’t only plausible
The man of at least today
Doesn’t deserve to be mentioned

But then again who really cries for the cop killer
As long as the chair does it’s job quickly and painlessly
Fairness only counts in some situations

Cause in his world, in my world predetermined for me,
There was the necessity for a partner
A structure for a bond to exist together
With the approach that we all understand we’re alone
Just too timid to admit it

The beneficiary social advantages
Went down the tube
With an abuse of power
And a knack for misunderstanding

In a round about way
The blame game leads to all parties
And I just got unlucky

A confused youth
In a changing environment
That is evolving past the need
Of using him

With the only benefit
Being the sad sappy statement
That there is nothing special enough
To hold him back