I'm a wanker by ivor biggun My mother said that I never should never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood Their giggling talk I could never understood And thats why I fell in love with my right hand (Chorus) And thats why I'm a wanker I'm a wanker And does it good like it bloody well should I'm a wanker I'm a wanker And im always pulling my pudd I was 25 years old before I was kissed and then I found the guy prefered a swift one off the wrist Its cheap and convenient and you cant catch VD Its avalible at anytime and its absolutly free (Chorus) And thats why I'm a wanker I'm a wanker And it does me good like it bloody well should I'm wanker I'm a wanker and im always pulling my pudd Oh Mrs Harn and your 5 lovely daughters Thank you for having me and being oh so kind I've got pains in my arms and my donkeys growing shorter My knees have turnt to water And I think im going blind I've wanked over Italy I've wanked over Spain I've wanked in an omibus I've even had a wank in a train I've used a badger and a lemon and a cat a inflatable Linda Lovelace and a David Crocket hat (Chorus) And thats why I'm a wanker I'm a wanker and it does me good like it bloody well should I'm a wanker I'm a wanker and im always pulling my pudd Oh Mrs Harn and your 5 lovely daughters Thank you for having me and being oh so kind I've pains in my arms and my donkeys growing shorter My knees have turnt to water And I think im going blind
You let me violate you. You let me desecrate you. You let me penetrate you. You let me complicate you. Help me. I broke apart my insides. Help me. I've got no soul to sell. Help me. The only thing that works for me. Help me get away from myself. I wanna fuck you like an animal. I wanna feel you from the inside. I wanna fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to God. You can have my isolation. You can have the hate that it brings. You can have my absence of faith. You can have my everything. Help me. Tear down my reason. Help me. It's your sex I can smell. Help me. You make me perfect. Help me become somebody else. I wanna fuck you like an animal. I wanna feel you from the inside. I wanna fuck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to God. Through every forest. Above the trees. Within my stomach. Scraped off my knees. I drink the honey inside your hive. You are the reason I stay alive.
I thought it was Mrs Palm? *don't stone the pedant* Yep, Macc Lads also, don't forget 'So What' by whatsamajig... Also covered by Metallica... So fucking what! Well, I've been to Hastings and I've been to Brighton I've been to Eastbourne too So what, so what And I've been here, I've been there I've been every fucking where So what, so what So what, so what, you boring little **** Well, who cares, who cares what you do Yeah, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you Well, I've fucked the queen, I've fucked Bach I've even sucked an old man's cock So what, so what And I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat I rammed my cock right down its throat So what, so what So what, so what, you boring little fuck Well, who cares, who cares what you do And, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you And I've drunk that, I've drunk this I've spewed up on a pint of piss So what, so what I've had skag, I've had speed I've jacked up until I bleed So what, so what So what, so what, you boring little **** Well, who cares, who cares what you do Yeah, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you A-hahaha! Yeah! I've had crabs, I've had lice I've had the clap and that ain't nice So what, so what I've fucked this, I've fucked that I've even fucked a school girl's twat So what, so what So what, so what, you boring little fuck Well, who cares, who cares what you do And, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you So fucking what! Yeah (that was from the Metallica version because my brain has left me for want of the original punk artist, I'm embarrassed)
