Handling Your Parents

i'm a college kid now and i'm home for winter break (one week left till i go back). my parents are always suspicious of me smoking pot. i've been caught by them a number of times. i'm kind of a dumbass when i smoke and am always leaving shit out and forgetting to do stuff. it seems like my rents always know when i'm going out to buy a bag, unless i'm at a friends house, cause whenever i do it's always very suspicous. plus, they're always going through my shit, my cell phone, bag, truck, etc. even though i tell them they can't fucking do that now that i'm 18.

my mom gets very upset by me smoking pot. not just mad, but it really hurts her to know that i'm doing drugs. she's looked at my messages and know that i've gotten shrooms, acid and she even found a whippit once. i don't really care about me doing drugs, i really care about it hurting my mom's feelings though. i try to just tell myself that i'm a different person that she is and that she just doens't get it. i've even talked to her about how marijuana isn't bad for me. the big thing that she cares about is it being illegal, which i don't understand because i don't give a flying rats ass if it's illegal.

is anyone else in this situation where it really hurts your parents feelings? my mom has even cried before knowing that i was out smoking pot. how do you deal with it?

p.s. i have been arrested and that has had a big impact on the situation.


edit: even if you aren't in a similar situation any suggestions would be appreciated. however, i think the only thing that i really can do is just live my life and not let someone else's life affect me.

 

what were you arrested for?

 

possession. nobody had ever taught me how to protect myself from the cops. i had to learn how afterward and by my own research. when i told my mom that she should have taught me how to protect myself from a person that was out to get me (aka cop) she said "that's not the right way to think of it" or something along that line.

 

i'm in the same position u are dude...my parents are totally against weed and other drug use.
ive been caught before, and for now they think ive stopped....i feel kinda bad because i know that they really do believe its bad and should be illegal, and they don't want to see me "get hurt". & theyre the type that would never be convinced otherwise.
my moms cried about it to..
...but i mean ur a legal adult and you gotta live your life they way you want to...& parents just have to deal with that.

 

yeah, man. it really hurts me to see that what i'm doing is hurting someone that i care about.

my mom was on my case about going out last night because she thought i was buying pot but i wasn't. we got into a discussion and i asked her if she had ever smoked pot before and she said no. that tells me that she knows nothing about it and can only make assumptions about it based on the lies taught to her by school/parents. so oh well, i'm not going to change because someone that doesn't know anything about what i'm doing says i should stop... but i know where she's coing from, she doesn't want to see me getting into trouble with the law.

 

well keep it more on the low at least

 

yah my moms pretty much just given up now, but in the past shes said things like your breaking my heart and the tears have flown on more than a few occassions. i actually occassionally go to na meetings for her. it really doesnt have anything to do with it bein illegal, she coud care ess about that, she just thinks i could end up/am an addict .its better now that im out of rehab and off probation though, atm we have a very good dont ask dont tell thing goin, i go outside to "smoke cigerettes" and she never checks up on me when im doin it. its been like this for the past 4-5 months now

 

My suggestion is when you are back visiting your folks lay off the drugs, stay sober when your visiting. A break can do a person good dropping your tolerance and all that good stuff. There is no reason to upset your parents over something as petty as drugs.

 

i used to be in that situation, u just gotta move out if u cant change their minds

 

oh nvm ur just visiting

 

i'm gunna try to get an apartment this summer

 

This may sound a little retarded, but I've never really thought it out too much before. What is the best way to deal with a cop if you are in a bad situation?


Also, say they were suspicious of you and wanted to search your car. They can't unless the see something right? Now let's say they were searching, how thorough are they? My hiding spot is pretty awesome I think, but maybe a cop would be wise to it, and check.

btw, - heres my spot: my car's center console has an ashtray that pops open in the back of it (like for the passengers in the back) anyways, if you hold down on a metal part, you can pop it out and there is a nifty little space.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqMjMPlXzdA

 

I agree

 

me, too, but it's harder than it sounds. i'm too addicted to just stop when it's so easily available to me, i have plenty of money, and my closest friends smoke. if i'm living at home this summer then i'll try my best to cut down on smoking at home and try only to smoke when i'm with friends.

my original plan was to stop smoking while i was home, for my mom because i love her. it just didn't work out that way.

 

I've been in this situation for a while now. I was caught over the summer and my mom pretty much pulled the same thing yours is. I agree with those saying that you should take a break while at home, but that only hides the problem; nothing really gets solved. I mean I still honestly feel kind of bad that me smoking bud makes my mom so upset, that's the only negative side of smoking for me. So to solve the problem, you have to confront her about it, that's the best advice I can give. It doesn't necessarily have to be "hey mom I smoke, lets talk about it" in fact that's an awful way to start the conversation. Try to spark a debate that could somehow get back to drugs. For example, in my home state marijuana was just legalized for medical use, I just asked my mom how she voted and we started talking about it. You have to be prepared for this conversation though, read up on the facts and figures of marijuana so you have some quotes you can give her. Most rational people are pretty open to an opinion if you present it in a way that isn't threatening. You can't just say "pot's good for you and this is why" you have to lead up with something like "yeah I was researching it and I found out all these things that aren't very well known about pot" then show her!

Now this all depends on your relationship with your mom and what she's like. You said that she never smoked before so it's gonna be a hard battle to convince her of your position. My mom had smoked like a few times she said, but my dad was just like me pretty much, so I had it a little easier. I say just spark a debate with your mom and try to be honest as you can. I'm still not entirely honest with my mom about it, all I've told her is that I smoke pot, I just don't think it would be in mine or her best interest for me to tell her I smoke pretty much daily.

This is a tough situation and it makes you feel like a bad person for doing nothing wrong (at least in our eyes). The fact is, pot may never escape the propaganda that surrounds it and sooo many people are brainwashed to think pot is an awful thing so even if it does become decriminalized, users will still have to deal with shit from parents about how bad it is.

 

Or maybe when your out and you know you have to go home latter, try not to get blown out. Like smoke a little or something

 

Im in a similar situation man. Some parents will never be okay with it....sounds like it your situation too. What I told my mom is...."Mom im not gonna lie to you im probably going to smoke sometimes. Im sorry if that hurts you but im not gonna like to you. Yes its illegal and so is speeding. Honestly if im smoking in a safe enviornment and not driving its probably less harmful then speeding."

My mom had nothing to respond with to that and just said I just dont want anything bad to happen to you....she also said shes not paying for my college. But luckily within the year I plan on moving out and attending community college. I haven't smoked in 5 months but probably wont atleast until march when I turn 18.

GL

 

As long as your grades are up in college tell them to back off and give you some space. They need to let go more and more around this age, they will understand.

 

let them catch you and a friend or something and say, "Shit hide the crack!"

Your parents will be RELIEVED to find out it's only cannabis