Today I realized......

My life has flown by.

Yes I know 16 seems young, but after that comes 17.

And thats still young, but then after that it's 18! And that will begin a new chapter in my life. It just seems amazing how fast life has gone by. Like I'm gonna graduate high school next year.

That made me realize that time is only what you make of it. I used to think it would take forever to get out of school but it's so damn close to being over.

But then this made me think "uh oh my girlfriends a year older than me" so that means that in September she'll be 18 and I'll be 16. Damn my late birthday, it's going to cause a two year difference in this relationship. I guess she hasn't cared the years before but when you 18 you probably have a whole different outlook on life.

Wich brings me to another point, I've noticed I think WAY differently than I did last year. I used to not care about stuff and would get into trouble and skip school and shit but now I realize that I can't be doing that anymore. This made me wonder what my girlfriend's outlook on life was when she was my age this time last year. Now she's even older and I dont know what the hell a 17 year old girl thinks about. This time shit pisses me off.

I realized a lot of things this week. One of them was that I'm not going to be in the public school system much longer and the other is that my girlfriend has a lot of guy friends that are her age and I know that I'm not technically competing with them but it feels like I am.

I don't know why but it feels like I'm not going out with her anymore. Like nothing has changed at all and she has no clue I feel like this. It's not like I wanna break up with her (thats the last thing that I wan to happen) but it feels like she's surpassed me somehow.

Then theres all this bullshit about college and whatnot and I realized I'm completley fucked in the whole "what am I going to do with my life" thing.

Now I see how all these cliches about high school being the best time of your life is true, but now its on the downhill end of that and I don't want it to stop. I know some people may not think it's a good time in your life but I like it.

Another thing I noticed is that if I ever want to pursue my dream of becoming a professional musician I'll have to start a new band because the one I have is fucking shit. I'm the only one who has any god damn talent even though the others think they do, I can play all the instruments better than any of them can play. This is why in the next couple of days I'm gonna record my own album without the rest of my band. Fuck 'em they're shit anyway.


Anyway thats all for now, I just felt like posting the stuff that was on my mind. I'm so confused lol

 

I know exactly what you mean, yes, we are young, but still.

Life is short, and its very very scary.

Lets hope we don't waste it .

xxx

 

Just don't do what I did, I was feeling the same way, surpassed I guess by my g/f, too young and collage around the corner. So... around the end of my junior year last year(my g/f senior year) I dropped out and got my GED, and was going to collage with my g/f this year, wooooh, what delight, but then it turns to shit, you get lonely, you feel too young, kinda washed away by life, then the next thing you know you are going "WTF am I doing here? Is this what I wanted?" and everything just starts goin the exact opposite way you want it to... im too stoned to continue my story, but yeaa, everyone gets confused by life, just make sure what happeneds in your life is what you want, don't let the other things in it make you wonder, step up and take the harder right then the easiest wrong, it'll leave you so much happier in the end.

 

my life doesn't seem like its going by quickly.

but i have so much to do before i can start feeling aged, and so much more to do until i arrive in my permanent future that i feel like things are going by kind of slowly.

 

yea dude time flies.

i remember when you were 14. it made me think "shit that's how old my little brother is...wonder if he's a pothead?"

but yea, just saying that (above) made me realize that time really does fly. i remember you posting on these boards two years ago!?
i've been coming here (on and off) for almost five years?!


i can remember high school days like they were yesterday, but it sure feels like a long time since i've been there. and shit! i'm only 23 which is still young too.


well it looks like my hip forums little brother is growin up:cheers2:
my real little brother is 18 btw...
it's funny cuz i see people posting on here that are 15, 16, 17 and they sound more mature (or the way i make them in my head is more mature) than my little brother....not that he's immature just cuz he's not into weed....ahhhhhhhhh

ya dig?

 

I know exactly how you feel,im turning 18 in april and my girlfriend is 16. I was wondering if the age diffrence was going to change anything and ive been having to think about colleges and jobs now. I cant wait till my gf turns 18 so she can get in raves with me.

 

I'm still mad young, but I know exactly what you mean.

this past year has gone by so fast and like, it feels like I've fucked up so bad. My parents have almost no trust for me anymore (well at least my dad), I'm failing school ridiculously, but I'm leaving in a few days to start cyber school.

everythings happening so fast.

 

I am feeling some of the same "time flying right past me" deal.

I was thinking of how my life I know right now is but a fraction in how many years I may live to be.

17 is just a small portion of life, especially when most of those years are spent in monotonous school routines. I think once 16 hits, and people are able to drive and get out, life really speeds up, you are having fun and are feeling freedom for the first time.

I'm excited, myself, to be leaving for college next year and starting my new life apart from the society I have grown up in.

 

I feel that too. Its weird to think that I may have like 60 more years left to live.

 

wow ive actually been thinking that too.^^^^

 

I would suggest sharing your feelings with your girlfriend. It isn't really healthy to keep feelings of inadequacy tp yourself. Also it would strengthen your relationship with her by helping to develop your communication skills.

 

Yeah, recently I've been having similar thoughts too. The other day I was just thinking about how I'm gonna be graduating high school in June and how fast these 4 years have gone by. Ninth and tenth grades sucked for me but things started to change in 11th grade and 2008 was the best year of my life. As much as I love to say I hate school, I really think I'm going to miss it.

 

I probably won't be able to fall asleep the night before mh last day of high school. I'll have the biggest smile on my face.

 

damn, i've actually been thinking about the exact same kinds of things recently. sooner than i realized i'll have to apply for college, and i haven't even gotten a real job yet.

and it's so strange to think of how much you can change during your teen years and how many different stages you go through. i've been thinking a lot about the years before i entered my teens, when i imagined myself as a teenager i never imagined this. and i can't begin to imagine what i'll be like as an adult, i wonder how much i'll have changed by then.


it seems so strange to realize how much more of life you still have to live when you're young

 

It's not inadequency, it's more jealousy because these older guys have all this shit I don't have and if they were with my girlfriend she could have those things too.

Like this one fuckin' guido that hangs around with her and is just tryin to fuck her. I swear I've never actually had a conversation with him but I want to kill that fucker just because I know what he's trying to do.

And after a 3 year relationship I don't think now is the time to bring out the 'I don't trust you" card. I know she wouldn't do anything behind my back, it's the other guys I have to worry about.

 

Another thing thats going to be weird about next year is that she's always shared a locker with me at school.

Usually twice a month she will come to my 3rd period class (the one after lunch) and get me so I can give her the key to the locker because she forgets it a lot. I know it sounds weird but I'd really miss that happening even though it used to piss me of enormously.

 

I don't know, it probably wouldn't hurt to convey your concerns to your girlfriend. It would certainly help to promote an open and honest relationship.

 

But it is an honest relationship.

The only thing that is wrong is that I dont like her hanging around with guys that are trying to fuck her. And every guy would feel the same way if they knew what the guys their girlfriend hung out with were like.

 

I understand that you have an honest relationships, but relationships take work and commitment, and open communication, and not telling your girlfriend your concerns doesn't really help that.

 

nope- you should definitely tell her what's up.
but make sure it's productive and doesn't make her feel like you're accusing her of anything.
Just tell her what you've been worrying about,
I'm sure she'll reassure you.
-and as for the whole worrying about the future thing,
I guess it's totally normal to freak out when your 16/17 and so close
to having to start your own life.
You're totally excited and freaked out at the same time. lol.
I'm always freakin out.