when i was about 15

i got pretty high and had to pee, but i was too lazy to go to the bathroom, so i stuck my wing wang between the cushions of the couch in my basement and pissed there. that couch reeked until we got rid of it.

 

nvm.

 

It's kinda weird you didn't clean it up when you were sober the next day. I've never pissed in my couch, but I did throw up on my friends carpet, walk outside, and not tell anyone haha.

 

By "lazy" do you mean "retarded"?

 

I have wing wang Too! but I usually play tug of war with it on the couch.

 

well thats a pretty fucked up thing to do.

 

I was really drunk at a party one time and thought it would be funny to piss on all the family tooth brushs when i was in the bathroom. There were like 6 toothbrushs in the bathroom and i pissed on all the heads and shoved one up my ass and put it back. I never told anyone, i felt really bad when i sobered up.

 

^ now that's fucked up!

 

wow i kinda dont know how to take that.

 

How about this- when I was about 15- (43 yrs ago.) I was so drunk when I laid down to try to go to sleep the bedroom was spinning. I started feeling sick - I knew I would never make the bathroom,so I opened my nightstand draw -right next to the bed - puked my guts up and shut the draw. When I woke up the next morning I was so hung over, I took a shower, got myself together & went to school.
Imagine Moms surprise when she came in her sons room to put some socks away & smelled the aroma of the Port Authority mens room
Man ,my Dad gave me the beatin of the year- lol Funny after all these years I still remember that scene like it was yesterday- -

 

Congrats, you just made me burst out laughing and woke my dad up.

 

When I was 15 I was more hardcore punk back in 89, and I worked at a Weinerschnitzel.
Back then punk wasn't mainstream and we got shit on by everyone. The restaurant worked in was frequented by the county Sheriff who used to give us shit (sometimes beat up) and the local high school jocks who always picked fights with us. One day the football team came in an I got the bright idea to piss in the relish and pickle bucket and go to the back and rub my weenie between all the buns served. After that, when cops came through the drive thru, I made it a point to add the essence of tube steak to their hot dog buns...

 

One time when I was 15 or 16 I got really drunk and had to piss but was too lazy to go to the bathroom. I pissed in one of my empty beer bottles, and about an hour later noticed there was a beer that was opened but not drunk. I took a big swig and remembered.

 

I would love to see that play out, show your dad?

I have a similar but not so bad story. When I was 13 my family was at some festival downtown, like a sober street fair or something. My mom had a Pepsi and had but out her smoke in it. I took a big sip of this nasty warm smoked cig tea and through up on the sidewalk.

 

remind me not to beat children around you.

 

I wish you were my best friend! That is absolutely brilliant.

 

You're not the first, and not the last person that will happen to, have been to alot of parties and have seen that happen alot.

Once when i was a teenager these guys tipped half a beer out and pissed into it to fill it up again, the guy they gave it to was so drunk he drank it all.

 

haha. I probably wouldn't have noticed either..most beer tastes like piss to me! Back in my teen drug binging days it seemed like people would wake up in the morning parched and drink out of cups that were ashed in the previous night almost every morning. It was like a cursed routine.

 

well, we all been there and done it, so here is my story too.
when i was 14, i got shitfaced drunk and, came home and pass out on the sofa.
next morning when i woke up with one hell of a nasty hangover, i realized i was covered in vomit, the floor had vomit all over it and, the sofa was covered in vomit too.
a little later i realized i had pissed in my pants and on the sofa too while pass out.
that sofa reeked of piss forever! lucky for me though, i had a tomcat back then, who had a bad habit of pissing everywhere but in his litter box. everyone thought it was the cat that pissed on the sofa.


for the toothbrush end of things. one time my mother threw a wine bottle at me and hit me in the eye. i almost lost my right eye from that.
what i did was, one day while taking a dump i saw my mothers tootbrush; you guessed right. i took her toothbrush and stuck it into my shit, then i shook it out and put it back into her glass.

 

^^^

Hahaha