I was just wondering if people would mind giving me a little feed back on one of my poems. The structure seems a little off to me and I just want to know what you guys think. Thanks a bunch! My heart is in love But my head is confused My sex is appreciated But my love is abused My eyes are a faucet And my mouth is a well His words are the stone That rang like a bell I ignore the jealousy And follow my anger Everywhere it takes me The sign reads “danger” But my heart has no eyes And my head has no trust Have I been enveloped By my own lust?
Hi Anistaulia, I think it's a very nice poem. I don't feel as anything were forced, and it read smoothly up to the danger line. Consider "The signs read “danger”" rather than "The sign reads “danger”" Also consider "In my own lust" rather than "By my own lust" It's a great poem, and I hope this helps. Take care, New Spanker
