i dont know what my heart wants

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by veroness, Feb 21, 2009.

  1. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

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    I dont know how I truly feel about my best friend. Im writing about this now because i had a bad dream.

    my best friend and i have been friends for a while now and we have dated a bit on and off. we have have good times in between and we are very close. but some days i feel like we are friends and only friends and then other days i find myself questioning if I still want to be in a full on relationship with him

    my dream was that as him and i were friends, this girl asked him out and he said yes but i knew this girl and saw her every day. i was so angry in my dream and i felt crushed like worse then when you get dumped. like really crushed. i started having anxiety attacks and it just was a very bad dream.


    what does my heart want? im happy to be his friend at the very least cuz he is important to me and my life but if i do want to be in a relationship if thats what my heart wants, and he is against it, what do i do?

    i usually know how i feel about everything deep down in my heart but seriously i have no idea
     
  2. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

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    i guess its not so important if he is in my life either way but its the principal of the thing
     
  3. missie

    missie Member

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    It sounds like with the dream you had – that your sub-conscious is saying something like your afraid of losing him and yet you are not sure whether staying with him is the right choice either.

    If the relationship you currently have with him is not what you wanted it to be – talk to him - tell him that and why - neither men or woman are mind readers. Let him know what your needs and expectations are in this union, and ask him what his are too. See if you can find a common ground where both can be satisfied and be happy together. Give it some time for the relationship to adjust and see if there is an improvement.

    If that fails, tell him that you need some time apart so you can think… you need some space to see what you really want more clearly. But definitely give the talk a go first… he sounds like a nice guy and it would be a shame if you didn’t give the relationship a chance to salvage itself.
     
  4. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

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    everything i feel, is never worth saying to him. I dont know what to do about this other than slowly try to dis attach myself from him. I would like him to remain in my life and keep him at the very least a close friend i can have till i die, but its so hard for me to understand my feelings for him. Maybe i just want attention from him cuz he was my first true honest love or maybe he is secretly everything i want in a guy. I have a lot of feelings for him but i just cant sort them out. I so over thinking about this. Just give me some anxiety medicine, and it will calm my thoughts.
     
  5. Indy Hippy

    Indy Hippy Zen & Bearded

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    It sounds to me as though you really do have feelings for him in the way of wanting him to love you. But if he doesn't share that love when you want it he is certainly not the right person for you. I'd suggest finding a real good friend of yours besides him that is willing to listen and then letting it all out. Things are often better sorted out once they are in the open.
     
  6. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

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    its really just me having to sort out me true feelings. i dont know what i feel cuz it changes all the time. i can be happy with him when we are together then i can be sad when we are together. I guess im just looking for stableness. I know our friendship is always stable until i make a big deal about something stupid.
     
  7. Indy Hippy

    Indy Hippy Zen & Bearded

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    Making big deals out of things is probly because you want to have that security and you don't know how to get it. Course I could be wrong. Security is not something you automatically get in a relationship hun. Its something you have to work at. My girlfriend and I are secure enough with each other that she doesn't mind that I'm bi and even lets me have occasionl boyfriends
     
  8. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

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    i dont think i could ever be in a relationship with someone and share them. if i have love for someone, and they love me, thats all we would need. although i would try a threesomee at one point in my life
     
  9. Indy Hippy

    Indy Hippy Zen & Bearded

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    Yeah everyones different hun. I love my girl but I have to have a guy once in a while. Its not quite the same ya know?
     
  10. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

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    im sorry i dont, but thank you for your advice. i always say things will work out. ill leave it at that
     
  11. Indy Hippy

    Indy Hippy Zen & Bearded

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    Yeah I hope you can work out your problems with this guy and the way you feel. If he's the one for you you don't wanna loose 'im
     
  12. veroness

    veroness There's only one :)

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    thats what im afraid of, but what will happen will. I just hate how i act towards him when im mad at something he did. why do people have to be sad or mad sometimes. i wish i could just be grateful for what i have. i feel like telling him blah blah blah...you figure out what that means
     
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