How long should I feel guilty?

Aw, how cute, you'd "knock them the fuck out and not regret it." Wanna cookie? GTFO, lol.


If he realizes his mistakes you nor I have any room to judge, anyways, no matter what you have NO RIGHT judging others because of their past.

 

When he is asking on a public forum we have room to judge

 

Although I understand that this mans feelings about these situations were probably very complicated and hard to navigate, the best course was very simple and clear: DON"T TOUCH LITTLE GIRLS.

It blows my mind that people can have shades of gray in this area. Clearly, many boundaries were crossed, and there is no excuse.

You should carry this guilt until you die.

I don't think passing this judgement is insensitive at all. In fact, I think coming to any other conclusion is terribly insensitive to the real victims.

 

Finally someone with some fucking sense in this thread!

 

Well...I think that you should feel guilty forever for what you have done, I hope it eats away at your monsterous soul. I totally agree with what addicted said...You stole their innocence, traumatized them and they will never forget what you have done. Eventually, they will tell people and I hope it is sooner than later. You are a dangerous person. I mean, I have done bad things...But the thought of touching a child in that way has NEVER crossed my mind. I have a young child, that could have been her you did that to. What if it was? I mean...You say..."and when I am not in a relationship I doubt I could stop making advances hence i do not let myself alone with her." This states that you will do it again, and therefore a threat to society. Do you know what a PEDO is??? I think that you need to be locked away forever, with your dick chewed up and spit back at you. Any one who disagrees with me is totally retarded and probably has some dark secrets of their own. Just because he feels "terribly" guilty doesn't justify this...He admitted he would do it again. People like him NEVER heal...What if those three little girls were yours? What would you do? How, as a parent, would that make you feel?

 

Well maybe not their past, but did this pedo not admitt that he would do it again??? He can't be trusted around these children. If he can't even trust himself...That's a bad sign. I hope he dies sooner than later.

 

He needs to seek professional counseling.

 

I heard somewhere that child molesters never reform... that could be wrong though, never say never and such...

 

Disagree, but:

In terms of emotional development, if your mother did leave you at a young age, you're discipline regarding treatment of women, as well as discipline in general (growing up with one parent often halves the amount of parenting/discipline you receive, esp. if the parent works) might be much lower than that of someone who grew up with both parents, or even additional brothers/sisters. Your possible pain/sadness, even bitterness at this occurrence couples with your age. Being 16 at the time makes the situation more understandable, as that age is often one of intense promiscuity and exploration, and coupled with issues regarding your mothers absence growing up, a mistake of this magnitude at least makes sense. Regardless of your past and situation, though, you had and continue to have free will; to blame what happened solely on conditions is to push the guilt to something out of your control, and that won't help you. I'm glad you seem remorseful, however it seems only too late to have only made the same mistake once. Really, if your remorse/guilt only stems from the situation your faced with, in which the consequences of your actions could tumble on your head at any moment, then you have no sympathy from me, as much as I might understand that some factors led up to your actions. If your remorse is more the result of feeling you've mislead, or used another human (or several) in a horrible way which might cause them great pain throughout their lives, then I'm very sorry for you. If self-centered as in the former, hopefully you'll feel guilty till your end. If honestly sorry as in the latter, I advise you first speak to a therapist if you really intend to turn your life around; you're apparently 19, a legal adult, so anything you tell them can't be shared with your parents (depending on local law, but I'm pretty sure. I don't know about police); just explain to your dad that you really, really need it, even make up some bullshit story if you want to. They will try to help you, maybe even to the point of never making the same or similar/worse mistakes again. You don't want to grow up being the type of person that does these things, or you'll hurt, many, many more people than yourself, who will feel worlds more pain than you do. If you really don't want to try that, fine and understandable, but I think you'll feel bad about the whole thing until you know your cousins are truly okay, and maybe they are, but more likely the aren't. What would fix it for them?

Those kind of statements are 'lol'

Truth

 

im not going to argue with this shit, believe what you will.

maybe one day you will open your mind abit wider and stop seeing everything as allready said so ''black and white''.

 

It's good that he feels bad, at least he seems to have some sort of morals, but it was still wrong and he should definitely still feel guilty. For the rest of his life.
That is an increadably fucked up thing to do...

 

When a person is psychicly damaged early on,I can't see how any reason to attach to little girls in a physical manner is justifiable.How does one relate to the other?Granted ,16 can be a very difficult age,but why not attach to 14--15--16--year old girls ,other than the fact the young ones may have been easy prey?Very sad for all involved.Seek help.The girls will probably have to do so as they grow up.And never touch a little girl again.

 

This is my last thing, its not like im for child molestation, but some people have unstoppable cravings for things like this. You might be thinking, if I was like that, theres no way that I would ever actually act on my fantasies, but in a situation like this, its nearly impossible. Even if you know its wrong, like he did, he at a moment of weakness did it and deeply regrets it. Im out.

 

It would actually be a person to deserve that, but I don't mind your judgments and opinions like someone said this is a forum so I write to hear that. It reminds me why I can never actually confess, at least not become open about it. I don't feel guilty from the idea of some future action to happening to me. That makes sense on paper but I have had looming things over me whole life so if I wasted time to worry about that I would get even less sleep. It is true I would not trust myself alone, not worth the risk.

 

Just do whatever you can to get better. You do need to seek professional therapy for this. And do so voluntarily. Anything you tell a psychiatrist is protected (unless you tell him you are going to kill someone, I believe).

You will resolve this with yourself on your own time. I feel horribly for the little girls, and I think their potential damage from this could be much greater than yours. There's no telling the path they will take. They could "whore out" when they get older and sleep around dangerously, they can refuse all men and turn lesbian, they could live a celibate life because they are ashamed and feel dirty, etc. There is no telling the psychological trauma. They could block it and grow up and be fine, too.

But, you need to focus on getting yourself better. And don't listen to the people that say you are a worthless human being and deserve to be locked up for life. That's an extremely short-sighted approach to life. That's not what you need. You need to get better.

 

You can come clean about this. You just don't want to because you're selfish and worried about the social stigma.

I don't see everything in black and white as someone said, just this.

 

A therapist is required to report the information they have if they think their patient is likely to commit a violent crime, a therapist is also required to inform authorities if the information they have pertains to the abuse of children, the elderly or the disabled, atleast they are in Australia.

Having said that, Sin, it may very well still be a good idea to talk to a psych regardless, though personally i think you need a psychologist and not a psychiatrist.

Ahh i remember well when you were posting about your 'adventures' i told you, that you will have to live with it, but you were too far gone to understand at that time.

To answer your question, you should feel guilty for as long as it helps you change, you can't undo whats done. I worry that if you focus too much on what you've done and not enough on 'fixing' it you will fall back into old patterns.

What i am suggesting is, learn to live with what you have done, come clean, and bear the brunt of the consequences. You have no one to blame but yourself, no matter what hand you were dealt, no matter what urges you have, you had a choice.

 

You deserve a lifetime of guilt, but I hope you are forgiven and forgive yourself some day.

We aren't always at our strongest, and sometimes do things that later in horror we realize are terrible. It is cruel what he did to those girls, but it is also a cruel fact of life to be stuck with guilt over something you no longer have any control over.

Make it up to yourself and the world in some other way, or by making these girls lives better in some way. Anonymously pay for some of their education or something. It will help you more than it will help them.

 

hmm this is yet another case of another teenager going through his peak of sexual lust,discovery and unwanted erections,not at all condoning the actions,but slightly<just slightly> for your defence i think this happens more frequently than we think,.Not just dirty old men doing these things,if you were 16 and the girls were 8-10 then that is 6-8 years age difference,most couples when older have the same age gap or close enough and its no big issue.But obviously 8 -10 is not the age ready for a women to start experimenting maybe if she was 13 the second third base thing may be considered "discovery" But hopefully your cousins arent really fucked up by this<which is unlikely> dont destroy your life through fear/ man up seek help and for christs sake dont do it again especially as you are now a adult ,..good luck:bobby:

 

don't defend me I deserve every ouch of hate out there, I do, I always will, and forgiving myself feels too much like condoning, I just can't let myself move on but I can still live on

xac back then I didn't know how to feel, I just didn't it died in me when I was young, it died when she left it died when I saw how whiny and petty my peers were, it died in me when I gave up feeling fear, gave up living by rules, gave up on living and saw people like sacs of flesh who could never feel like cattle and could only be used and manipulated. then it happened someone loved me, she judged me but she loved me, she loved me more than everything and it broke us in the end but it changed everything and I woke up from the dream, and realized my life was a nightmare.

to anyone who is interested to where I ended up:

from that point when we broke up, I was jumping from my past mind set to my present one. I mentally tormented this one girl because of my anger. She finally broke down and got me expelled (I appealed and won a suspension) After a 8 months of ennui I decided to live, maybe a part of it came from my new girlfriend. But now I know that a relationship built on manipulation means nothing, a relationship filled with doubt mean nothing. we love each and still love ourselves and this makes all the difference.

And now I believe this relationship will be the last socially difficult action i will pursue and and in a few years it won't matter and everyone will see that our relationship is/was beautiful even if we break up. She's 15 and I'm not going back to my far away school but going into a job I'm excited about and get my diploma while working.