I just go in circles from girl to girl, in reality all i want is her. I dont know who i am anymore, what im doing, i just know the unreality of the world, the things that move, the things that change colors, the things that make me happy. I dont think im myself anymore though, after all the psycological abuse i gave myself. But i do know one thing, i need help, im not sure if its the drugs, the stress, the deppression, C all of the above... i need something. But untill i find out what ill just do another line and stick another peice of jelly on my toung...
You need stability in your life. I have someone very close to me who got pulled down that path… it F*$@ed up the whole family – and then some. The family is still pretty F’d up. And all because of one person. I tried to help and lead a supporting ear, always listening, taking he’s side, never judging. Even missed a semester of school just to take care of him. And all I got from it was further abuse. This went on for years. The best thing I ever done regarding him, was cut him out of my life completely. He no longer exists to me – just a mere shadow. My life is all the better for it. The things you’re taking makes you feel good - but makes everyone around you feel like S*#T !! and because of that no one will want to be around you. They will leave one by one, until all the people you have in your life – you can count them in one hand - if you're lucky. Sorry for the aggressive language… but your post touched home. I hope you found your own way back, and be all the more stronger because of it.
