The Dream I was never one to be optimistic, but I was here now, and I know what I came for. Looking around the quiet town, almost 300 miles away from home, the sun glistened down on me. It was so warm, which made a change from the cold weather we had been burdened with for over a year now. I lifted my head up and stared at the clear blue sky. It felt good to be here. Walking down the pathway next to the quiet road I felt the sun beating down on my skin. The slight breeze rippled my purple, silky tank-top. The sequins that decorated it around the neck-line glistened in the daylight. I ran my hand down my denim skirt to straighten it. Thankfully, it wasn’t lifting up in the breeze. Being tall with long legs was an advantage to show off in the warm weather. I smiled to myself, I was so happy to be here. It was calm for London. There wasn’t many cars, or people, in fact, there were only a few passerbys walking down the street. Looking across the road, I saw the park where he would be. It was surrounded by a white picket fence and towering, large trees. The corners of the park were decorated with attractive assorted flower beds. It looked beautiful. Living in a small village; I didn’t get to see many things like this. My heart started to pound rapidly, this was it. I was finally going to see him. Walking into the park, the grass smelled fresh like it had just been cut. It was one of my favourite smells. There was a slightly overgrown path that circled around the centre of the park for people who wanted to go running. This was where he would be. Stood in the grass in the middle of the park, I glanced around. The park was quite empty, just as the streets were. There was an old lady and her black miniature poodle, tied to a thick red leash on a bench not too far away from the flower beds. She seemed to be feeding it treats and repeatedly patting its head, as if the dog was a substitute for a child. On the other side of the park was a middle aged woman, who was sat with her legs crossed reading a fairly large book. She wore big, round, dark sunglasses and had a massive handbag at her feet. Glancing over to the centre of the park I noticed there were a few people running on the circular path. That was when I saw him. He was shirtless and wore black jogging bottoms. His long, slender, moist body shined in the sun. He looked so attractive; I smiled to myself and slowly reached in my pocket to take out my phone. Dialling his number my heart started beating inside once again. Watching him as he slowly stopped running; he took out an earphone and reached into his black jogging bottoms to retrieve his mobile phone. “Hello?” He answered breathlessly. “I like your jogging bottoms.” “What?” He answered laughingly while scratching the top of his head. “Look to your right.” I replied, closing my mobile phone and pushing it back into my skirt pocket. As I hung up, he glanced over and saw me. Shielding his eyes from the sun he came running up to me. “Oh my god, Amanda, Is that you?” He questioned while still running up to me. “Yeah, it’s me.” I replied while smiling. As he came towards me, I looked into his eyes. I slowly put my arms around his neck and stared deep into his eyes, as he stared back, I felt the love connect between us. “Do you still want to kiss me?” I asked. “Yeah, I do.” “Well, there’s nothing stopping you now.” I whispered. As we kissed, everything I went through to find him all felt worth it. He was the love of my life. My soul mate.
It's mushy as hell for my taste, but good descriptions. Is this meant to stand alone? It'd be nice if you could hint a little more at the circumstances of why these characters were separated and why she's reuniting with him now. Should be "There weren't many cars". Also a style suggestion: have you considered trying this piece in present tense? It would give it a sense of imminency you don't really get with the past tense here.
thank you so much for your feedback! yeah its ment to stand alone, it was a real dream i had, obv i have added more to it for entertainment purposes. I like to write about them sometimes to get my feelings out xD being only 16, i understand there are a few grammer/spelling errors. thank you for pointing that one out though! I'll change it straight away as for doing it in a present tense,i thought it was? but anyways good idea for my next peice tho thanks again xx
No problem - you have good potential as a writer. I hope you understand as a 23-year old male romance isn't really my preferred genre (hence the "mushy" comment), but I do encourage you to keep writing!
