As the days go by there is one thought I can not get off my mind: Fuck, what's next. In a matter of months I'll be thrown into the "real world"; I'm turning 18. A materialistic, egotistical, violent, monopolized, capitalistic and close-minded world. I sit and wonder for an alternative. Maybe I could create a nation; no, don't have the resources. Maybe I could show the world it's corrupt ways; no, that's been done too many times and the people end up assassinated. Maybe I could suck it up, get up job, then grab some lube and assume the position for the Federal Reserve Bank; no, no one wants a long haired hippie in the presents preaching about love, plus I don't condone slavery(consented or not). As I go through the list of options night after night death and solitude sound more appeasing than the current society. It's only normal in a kid's life to think about their place in life, but is it normal to think about your neighbor's life and how to improve and help them instead? That's up for debate. But all I ever want in life more than anything is to share-- share jokes, facts, food, weed, et cetera. It's hard to do that. Due to the world, everyone's mind is already set up for self-gain. I've been a hippie for years and I've been exploited many times. All of which I knew I was being exploited but still gave in to fulfill that person's need because I'm nice. Moreover I feel like I'm locked-up in a virtual jail keeping me from being me. And I thought coming out of the closet was hard...
not everyone's like that. sure, there are some assholes, and a lot of life today is pretty much how you described it. but not all. find something you like that's simple, that lets you do something for the community and for yourself, and not for some big business to leech off of. you don't have to be making a lot of money, you don't have to be recognized- just live simply and as you see fit. i'm sure you can find a community of people with your ideals. sure, it may not be a "commune" or anything, just a circle of friends who are like you. i dunno, maybe i just don't know what i'm talking about. i'm sort of in your situation too- i just turned 18, i'll be out of high school in 6-7 months, and i have no idea how i'm going to go out into the world. it doesn't seem easy.
You could go to college just for the fun of it, and hope to whoever you hope to that it will help in the long run. That's my plan.
I have thought of going to college. I hear the colleges here in California are really chill. I've often thought of majoring in English Lit. and becoming a teacher. I could write novels during the summers. I wouldn't mind that but it's the details I hate. Like getting a job in the meantime. Or finding/filling out a wagon load of application forms for money and stuff. I'd just hate to get caught up in the web of student loans and debts.
Debts are a bad thing and should be avoided but an education is worth it, especially if you have a reasonable plan on how to pay it back. If you became a teacher you could literally change a part of the system you complain about it. But like all these things it all has to do with what you yourself do and are responsible for not just the flip side.
^ That was probably the stupidest post ever in internet history. Telling someone to not think of others? Wow, if hell is real, you are certainly going there. To the OP, you are young, you have plenty of time to explore life and the world, it may take time, but you will find what makes you happy, thats the most you can ask for.
The world you speak of entering sucks. Pack your bags and jump on a plane. You don't need the existence they would force upon you.
You can go anywhere, do anything. If you want, you can become the President of Wal-mart. In your lifetime. I'm not joking. Start on that path and give it your everything. If you want, you can become a homeless person in Vietnam. In your lifetime. I'm not joking. Start on that path and give it your everything.
