growing up a queen of America

well lets see growing up from when I was like five, I felt that strange attraction towards the same sex. Maybe my parents knew but they did what all parents did and ignored it as well as I did, ignoring myself. As we get older what are we to do ignore it or just come out. Or just not give a fuck what will be will be- Cay ser fucking rah right. I tried to sedate the feeling with drugs and forget, but after all said and done I felt the same way. So here I am a fucking fag in the middle of white america, what now?

 

Um... I dunno. Does yr sexuality affect your life that much? My advice is just get on with the rest of your life until you know what you want to do yourself, sounds like you're a bit confused. If you can offer a more specific question I can try and help, but what you're basically asking is "How do I cope with life?" and I'm afraid no-one here will have the answer to that.

 

its not a question its a statement, and yes my life does revolve around sex, (when you think about it every 5 seconds) What is your opinion on gay America? that wass my question

 

Oh. I don't live there. I gather Florida used to be good for that sort of thing, but probably won't be after the next election. Seems like America is more homophobic than here in general. Probably all the religion.

 

why do you say that about the next election?

 

I might be wrong, but a mate of mine there said that if the Republicans get in in that state he'll leave because they'll axe the introduction of gay marriages or something. I don't really get it either.

 

You know your sexuality. Trust me there many who for whatever reasons don't figure theirs out until later in life & it is more difficult.

Having said that. It sounds like you are wanting to know about resourses etc. It looks like you live in Maryland. Baltimore has GLBT resourses & places to find other GLBT folks. If you are near D.C. you have even more resourses.

I do want to say that you sound like you may need to accept yourself a little more. I may have misread your messages. Please forgive me if I am wrong. As I said before you have the knowledge of who you are but you also have to be proud of who you are. You have every right to be proud of being gay it is you.

Maryland GLBT info Washington D.C.

 

your very smart, gay or not gay I leave my destiny up to GOD. Fuck sexuality it's fucking bullshit anyway, who cares if I'm alone the rest of my life. I know exactly whats going to happen if I pursue this, I'll get herpes or something.
"Crucify me in the name of whats right in the world."-me
i give up

 

Well, I would hope that you would practice safer sex when you do have a chance to experience it.. That greatly reduces the risk of catching herpes or other nasty things.

Is there a reason that you are being so fatalistic about all of this? Good Gods! You are 21, you have your whole life in front of you if you just let yourself experience it.

 

what you are is a gift. sexuality is a gift, whether you are attracted to males, females, or both. there are those who believe we are in the midst of a new civil rights movement... a civil rights movement for equality of GLBT rights. never be afraid of the who God made you. change is coming.

 

yeah your right we are in the midst of a sexual civil rights movement. My problem is that I have experienced deep and meaningful relationships, but somehow or another no ones really thought I cared about them as much as I did so they all ended up bullshit. I just want to find someone that just cares about me and not sleeping with the rest of the world. Monogomus relation ships you know. and yeah god did create me like this or someone just pissed in my gene pool. thanx snow dancer for the resources, I'll check some out and let you know. r u native american?

 

My English ansestor married a Native Woman. That was, if I remember correctly, 5 generations before me. I am of my family first in generations to admit it or embrace it. I was a little surprised to even find it out but then again I found out at the same time that I was part German too. Felt they had to keep up appearances or something, I don't know. Maybe some bad blood with the Germans. Deplorable behavior no matter how you look at it to deny your ancestory IMHO. Sure aren't honoring the ancient ones with that.

I have to admit I know nothing about the links I gave you they were what I got from a google search. I do have a friend who lives in D.C. & through him know second handedly that there is a strong gay community in D.C. though...I thought about asking him for resourses but the ones I got looked pretty good so I went with them. The places listed are there to help people. I would suspect even if you are looking for a place to go have a brew with other GLBT folks. Don't be afraid to ask them questions that is what they are there for. Good luck no matter what you do. There are people all around that are GLBT. It may seem like you are the only one on the planet at this time but you don't have to look very far to find others like you. I grew up in a small town & at that time was sure that I was the only one on the planet who was as wierd as me. (How I thought at the time) But I found out that I wasn't the only genderqueer (what I realize I am now but didn't have a word for then) bisexual around. I would say that if I can find people who will accept this combination of traits simply being a gay male shouldn't be so bad.

 

There is a strong Gay community around D.C. as I've been there. Also, Norfolk, VA has a large homosexual population in a community down there. I can't remember the name of it. It's a rather English soundng community. Hmm... native, eh? I have a bit of native in me as well... if I believe either Cherokee or Iriquois. Can't recall... anywho...

 

thanx snow dancer, I'm mohigan indian, the one thats not extinct. About the gender thing , that was just one of my theories it's not how I totally think about it, people can do whatever they want, ya know. I have a couple girls in mind though. I'm trying to get over my X. and I don't want to go back.